Page 48 of Backstage

“If you haven’t figured it out yet, I’ll show you.”

He grabs around my waist with one hand, dragging me out of the water and sitting me on the edge. Then he slips between my legs, while with the other hand, he grabs my hair and squeezes it in a fist, making me moan in his mouth as he kisses me with a passion that sets me on fire. His tongue explores me with such experience that it ignites every single cell in my body. Damian lets go of his grip on my back, holding the one in my hair firmly, then he puts his hand between my legs, making me almost jerk with pleasure. It only takes him a few moves in the right places, without even taking my panties off, to pull off one of the most powerful orgasms I have ever had. I moan without restraint in his mouth and cling to his muscular shoulders.

Damian detaches himself from me and leaves me panting on the edge of the tub, unable to move or even to breathe decently. “I want to sleep with you. I don’t care about other women. But you have to ask me. This was just a taste of what you’re missing.” He winks at me and turns to leave.

“And you’re leaving me like this?” I ask, gasping, feeling stunned.

“I’m going over there to get under the covers with my dinner. I suggest you put on those pajamas and join me. I’ll wait for you before I start the pizza and Netflix.” He walks out the door like it still makes sense to give me my privacy after just pleasuring me between my legs.

I get out of the bathtub and almost end up face down on the floor, legs of jelly. How is it possible that he manages to make me shake like this just by touching me? I don’t want to imagine what it would be like to have sex with him because I could ask him right now. I change by leaning against the bathtub wall to support myself, then I grab the tray and wine and approach the room.

“Come here,” he orders me.

The bedroom is as spectacular as the rest of the apartment: huge, with a bed that I think is custom made judging by how big it is. There is a fantastic view of the city illuminated by the evening lights and a television in front of the bed that looks like a cinema screen.

I put the tray on the bedside table, and when I get closer, Damian moves the sheet to make room for me. I sit a good foot away from him, but he looks at me, reaches out with one hand, and drags me against his muscular body. He wraps his arm around my shoulders and grabs the remote control to scroll through the list of movies on Netflix. I take the pizza box he has on his legs, and I move it between the two of us. As soon as I do it, his erection stands out overbearingly, lifting the sheet and the pants he has on. I stare in amazement at it without even feeling naughty.

“Shall we pick the movie and pretend I am not extremely horny right now?” he laughs.

As if that were possible. “Sure, what boner? What movie do you want to watch?” My voice comes out shrill as I stare at the TV screen, trying not to look down.

Damian giggles and pulls me to him.

“Take your pick, as long as it’s not a cheesy, meaningless comedy or a dumb one.”

It’ll be a piece of cake to pick something. Yeah, a real piece of cake.

We’re halfway through the movie, and I have no idea what we’re watching. Damian’s arms engulf me, his breathing is regular, and his heartbeat cradles me as I rest my head on his chest. My hand on his belly, tucked under his shirt, gently caressing the hair that descends to his lower abdomen. His erection is now asleep, and we are enclosed in this bubble of calm that seems almost surreal.

If someone had told me that I would spend an evening hugging Damian Jones, watching a movie, cuddling and feeling sheltered like I’ve never been, I would have laughed until I cried. When we won the contest, I knew my career would change dramatically, but I didn’t realize that my personal life would change as well. This moment represents all the perfection I’d always dreamed of but wasn’t sure I could achieve.

“Are you eating the last slice of pizza?”

“Hmm?” Damian’s hoarse voice awakens me from my daydream.

“If you don’t want the pizza, I’ll move the box. I’m getting cramps from sitting still.”

“Take it. I’m not hungry anymore.” I sit up while he grabs the box and puts it on the floor next to his bed. The distance between us almost physically hurts.

This time, Damian comes back to bed, lying down and dragging me with him, covering us with the light duvet. He hugs me and holds me, breathing deeply into the hollow of my neck. I wrap my hands around his waist and then slip them under his shirt. I feel him shiver with my light touch and his fingers slip under my tank top, caressing my back. It’s like he’s trying to memorize my skin to the touch. A slight moan escapes him, and his lips begin to taste my neck until they move up towards my mouth, where his tongue sinks to meet mine in a slow, sensual, yet tender kiss.

There have only been a couple of kisses between us, but they were always frantic, full of passion and desire, to the point that I would have been made love to him sitting right there. Right now, though, he’s taking all the time he needs, savoring me, getting to know me. It’s a kiss that makes me feel safe, protected, and that, on the one hand, scares the hell out of me because this is a Damian I don’t know and that I have yet to discover. He’s in no hurry to get to the point, to undress me and sink between my thighs.

When he leaves me, he leaves a light kiss on my lips, one on the tip of my nose, one on my forehead, and then he squeezes me even tighter against his chest and makes me crave a routine that I had not considered but that I discover I want.

“It’s hard to resist lying on a bed with you without ripping your clothes off,” he chuckles amusedly.

“I don’t think I’d stop you,” I smile as I hold myself closer to him.

I can hear him sighing and kissing my hair gently. “To think you don’t want me to stop and explicitly asking me to have sex are two completely different things. I told you, I won’t get between your legs unless you ask me to.”

I’m swallowing my words because no matter how ruthless my hormones are, the need to feel safe in his arms outweighs the desire to satisfy my instincts. The fact that Damian is giving me this choice makes me realize he knows it’s a step I don’t take lightly. I want to, sure, but I don’t know if I’m ready, so I snuggle up to him and enjoy this moment that makes me feel good. The festival is approaching fast, and I’m nervous because it’s a decisive event in our career. I don’t think it’s right to add more complications to my life right now.

The first time I met Luke, I don’t even remember seeing his face. I had been crying for so many hours my eyelids were swollen and half-closed. When I realized he was grabbing my naked skin, I started screaming and kicking, terrified. Luke took off his shirt, made me stand up, and put it on me. That was the first moment I really saw him. He was just one of the many nameless classmates I had never spoken to before, but at that moment he became Luke, the one who saved me.

He held me close for an endless time until the sobbing stopped and I could stand on my own two feet. He held onto me until I got to his car, made me get in, accompanied me home, and stayed with me until I fell asleep in my bed. Without ever saying a word, without ever asking me what happened, without ever forcing me. From that day on, he’s never left me, and I’ve never left him. We became one, and over time I trusted him enough to tell him about The Accident.

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