Page 49 of Paparazzi

The seconds of silence that follow seem to stretch until they seem like hours. When I turn again to the woman in front of me, unsure what to do, she looks at me with a sympathetic smile. “Now do you understand why we don’t allow payments anonymously, and without the consent of the family?”

No, I don’t understand it, just as I don’t understand Iris’s outrageous behavior. She can’t refuse to help her mother simply out of pride.

*

“What did you do this time?” Lilly greets me with a scolding gaze and her arms crossed.

I walk into her apartment when she steps aside, and I find Damian sitting on the couch with a notepad on his knees, a pen in his hand, and an amused smile as he looks at me.

“Nothing, why should I always be the one who does something wrong?” My answer reflects all the irritation I still feel since fighting with Iris at the clinic.

Lilly motions for me to sit on the sofa next to her boyfriend, then she fills a cup with coffee that she hands to me, and I gladly accept. I couldn’t be more nervous right now. A little more caffeine won’t make a difference.

“Because you came here to talk, and your face is halfway between a furious man and a beaten dog. You’ve definitely done something.”

I inhale deeply and take a long sip from my cup then start telling them what just happened. As I get on with the story, Lilly’s face looks increasingly disbelieving and Damian starts laughing his head off. They are not helping right now. I need comfort.

“Have you become stupid overnight, or were you born that way?” Lilly’s incredulous question makes me even more irritated.

“Look, I didn’t do anything wrong. I just wanted to help, and I don’t understand why she got so angry. At the end of the day, she accepted the groceries. It’s not that different from the camera or the fact that I can pay for the clinic. I can afford it. It’s not like it’s a sacrifice for me.”

Lilly shakes her head as Damian watches me, amused. She tries to explain: “Thomas, the groceries you bought her were a bit like you took her out to dinner and decided to pay. She accepted because she knows that if you go out again, she can pay for you. It’s the game of dating, getting to know each other. You pay, then she pays, but you’re playing on equal terms, there’s no difference between you and her. Give her a camera or pay for the clinic...that’s something she can never reciprocate. You’re not on the same playing field. Jesus, you’re not even playing the same game.”

Damian defends me: “He, however, can afford it...and he didn’t do it to flaunt his money. It’s Thomas we’re talking about, the most generous and selfless person I know.”

I thank him for that. I need someone on my side.

Lilly smiles and watches us both, shaking her head. “I know you didn’t intend to bully her, but the result is the same—she felt inferior to you. Maybe she thinks you see her as weak and helpless, unable to take care of herself.”

“But that’s not the case. I just wanted to help by making her life easier,” I protest.

Lilly smiles and rests a hand on my leg. “How would you feel if someone did something like that for you when you were in trouble?”

“I would have accepted! I’m not that stupid.”

Damian bursts out laughing. “But you did insist that we starve like beggars when Joe offered us leftovers when the kitchen was already closed, and we didn’t have the money to pay for it,” the traitor recalls.

Lilly turns to me and smiles lovingly. “Thomas, not all women need to be saved. Many can make it on their own without a man coming in and solving their problems.”

“I know that. I’ve never considered women the weaker sex. In fact, I think it’s the opposite. You can stand everything that’s thrown at you...we don’t know which way to turn when you leave us. I wasn’t trying to be the hero here.”

“Thomas, I know you’re not doing this for Iris. You’re doing it to save yourself for not being able to do something for your family. But she doesn’t know that. She only sees the egotistical, arrogant star who tries to solves everything with a swipe of a credit card.”

Lilly’s words hit me like a punch in the stomach. It’s disarming how this woman can read me. When she gets up to wrap her arms around my neck, I feel my eyes burning with emotion.

“Go and apologize to her, because you’ll never find a woman like that again.”

I don’t answer her. I just nod, holding onto her in a hug that gives me courage.

The hot water flowing down my skin erases the tension I’ve accumulated over the last few hours. When I think of Thomas’s arrogance, anger still squeezes my stomach, making me almost nauseous. How dare he to treat me like I’m his property? Like I can’t take care of myself and my mother. I lower my head and let the hot spray ease away that last knot of tension that has gripped my shoulders.

I turn off the water, get out of the shower and approach the mirror now covered with droplets of steam. With my good hand, I rub the mirror with my towel and see my reflection, then I grimace. The bruise on my dislocated shoulder has gone from intense purple to a light blue surrounded by shades of greenish yellow. It’s horrible to look at, and even more horrific is the fact that I haven’t recovered the mobility or strength in my arm yet, preventing me from doing even the most basic things. My face is a little better than the day after the fall, but the bruises are still visible, if fading slightly.

I struggle to get my bathrobe on just in time to hear someone knocking on the door. I breathe deeply, trying to calm the tension that never really went away. Looks like my apartment has become very busy lately. The fact that I already know who’s at the door makes my stomach twist in a vice—partly pleasant, mostly nervous. I know it can’t be Emily. She would have used the spare key I gave her a long time ago.

I take a deep breath and open it. In front of me, Thomas holds a cup of coffee and a red velvet cupcake that I know he got from Emily. She’s the only one who knows that sweets can turn even my worst moods around for the better.

“Truce?” he pleads in an unsteady voice.

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