Page 32 of The Producer: Aaron

“That’s the best part. You can live the fantasies of a perfect lover when you have to settle for reality.” I shrug.

Aaron looks at me for a few moments, frowning.

“It’s not like there’s nothing written here that you can’t do in the bedroom, just that it’s very explicit. I didn’t expect it.”

It’s my turn to look at him, frowning.

“You can’t be serious. Certain things are clearly fantasies. You can’t find a man who really does those things.”

He wrinkles his forehead even more and sits straight.

“For example?” Curiosity exudes from him.

“Like, I don’t know, a man who likes to have oral sex. To a woman, I mean, not to receive it. In these books, it always seems that a man has nothing on his mind but to stick his head between your legs and make you enjoy it. Such men exist only in books.” As I proceed with my explanation, his eyes get bigger and bigger.

“You have never received oral sex? Like never? Are you a virgin?” he asks in disbelief.

It’s the first time we’ve had such a straightforward conversation about sex, and the image that materializes in my mind of Aaron’s head between my thighs makes me quiver on the couch. This thought, mixed with the sex scenes I’ve been reading for hours, almost makes me feel physical pleasure. I tighten my thighs, searching for that orgasm that has been mounting for hours.

“No, I’m not a virgin, but I’ve never found any guy who went beyond a quick fondle down there and immediately got to the point. I thought it was something that sucks, that’s all,” I admit with a bit of embarrassment considering my inexperience, thinking of the models he takes to bed and who certainly knowhow to make a man lose his mind.

“What kind of savages did you date?” he asks me, scandalized.

I shrug and show off a half-embarrassed smile. “Guys who it’s a miracle if they change their Star Wars T-shirt every three weeks, and who can’t make a woman orgasm even if you give them an instruction manual.”

The total silence that follows is almost funny because of his scandalized expression. Too bad we are talking about my inexperience between the sheets.

“You have never experienced an orgasm in your life?”

“Not given by a man, no. But with BoB, I have no problem.”

“Who the hell is Bob?”

“My Boyfriend on Batteries, the vibrator.” I laugh when he opens his mouth, amused.

“You really have to find a man who knows how to make you enjoy sex. I thought mine was a generation of idiots, but yours isn’t joking either.”

I shrug and lean further on his shoulder.

“Maybe I should find someone older who knows how to wear a suit and tie without looking like an idiot,” I whisper as his eyes catch fire and linger on my lips. “Do you have any friends to introduce me to?” I ask him in a tone that is, perhaps, a little too coy.

In a quick gesture that makes me squeak, Aaron reaches out his arm and pulls me to himself, making me sit on his lap. His eyes become the color of a stormy sky like that night at the club when he came to save me from the guy who put his hands on me.

He gets closer to my face, and I feel his warm breath on my neck. “Don’t provoke me, Dakota,” he whispers, unleashing a storm inside my body. “This time, you’re sober and might discover a part of me you don’t know.”

I catch my breath and stare at his face and lips without even trying to move away or put a minimum of distance between us.It would be enough for me to lean forward and kiss him, a single tiny movement and our evening would change radically, but I am so paralyzed by this gesture that I don’t move. Sitting on his legs, the intimacy is such that a lament of protest escapes my lips when he opens his book and goes back to reading because suddenly I would like him to teach me all the indecent things written between those pages.

“I went out last night and robbed a bank.”

Tracy’s voice comes to me as background noise that I can’t turn off. The image of Dakota sitting on my legs as we read is imprinted on my brain. How the hell did it occur to me to act like a caveman?

“Then I went to the movies and strangled a couple of people because I was bothered by the noise they made chewing popcorn.”

Tracy keeps talking, and I can’t help but think of Dakota’s slender body pressed against mine. That little moan that came out of her lips when I opened the book and started reading again as if it were a protest. Did she want something different? Did she want me to lay her down on that couch and let her experience how a real man makes his woman come? The problem is that she is notmywoman. She’s a girl I took in so she doesn’t mess up again. I am so close to becoming her most significant trouble myself. But it’s hard to resist those lips, that smart, impertinent brain that stands up to me.

“Then I went into a church and performed a satanic ritual by setting fire to the altar.”

“Yes, that’s fine,” I answer automatically.

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