Page 58 of The Producer: Aaron

I feel anger boil inside me and, at the same time, shame clutch my stomach. This is what people think of me. This is the image I give when I go out with my boss. I had not realized, until now, how important people’s judgment of me is. In the perfect bubble of Aaron’s house, these problems don’t exist. Only the two of us exist, but we can’t live forever inside that house, and I have to deal with what people say about me.

“Three years ago, I didn’t even know who Aaron was,” I hiss between my teeth.

“Dakota was chosen because she is perfect for the part and is a great actress.” The voice of the director behind me calls me back to reality.

“Therecentpersonal relationship between Mr. Steel and Dakota has nothing to do with the casting decision. If I remember correctly, you didn’t even make it to the shortlist of the last ten contenders for this part. Instead of coming here to spread lies among these people who have earned this job for their expertise and professionalism, you should work on your acting techniques and find your own way in some other production,” he adds in the middle of the total silence.

“I’m a good actress. I don’t need to work on mytechniques,” she scoffs, mocking him.

The director looks at her tilting his head and smiling sadly. “To be honest? I don’t think that after today you will have any chance of making it in Hollywood, not even for a commercial. This job is all about skills and connections. You don’t have the former and you just burned to the ground the only connections you had. Did you really think your name wouldn’t end up on the blacklist after this stunt?”

My gaze is fixed on my shoes while, out of the corner of my eye,I see the security guys take Serena away, who, at this point, no longer has much to say. I would like the earth to open under my feet and swallow me. I’m so ashamed I don’t even dare to look around to see the reaction of my colleagues.

“Just to clarify this point, so that there is no gossip around on this set,” continues the director. “The casting hasnotbeen influenced by anyone at any level. Who has been chosen for the part they are playing is because they deserved it by proving to be the most suitable person to represent that character. That said, the private life of colleagues is, in fact, private. I don’t want gossip about it on my set,” he announces before leaving.

Voices surround me again, reminding me that life goes on despite my humiliation. I feel a hand on my shoulder, and when I turn around, I find Emma’s smile. I hold my breath, trying not to give in to the tears that threaten to spill.

“Don’t think for a second that someone here believes that gossip,” she tells me in her usual reassuring tone.

“You mean there’s no gossip about my relationship?” The half-embarrassed smile on my lips is a bit pathetic, but I think Emma is saying it just to cheer me up. She probably feels pity for me and wants me to feel better.

“Let’s say there is excitement about the fact that you managed to make an unrepentant bachelor capitulate, but nothing more. Nothing bad is said, and above all, no one thinks that you have the part for a reason other than your skill.”

Her words reassure me and her sincere smile makes me realize that she genuinely believes what she said.

“Capitulate? It’s not like I put a ring on his finger. He’s had other women in the past,” I say, trying to minimize it in some way. This relationship is so new and fragile that I don’t even know how much of a future it has.

“I’ve never seen Aaron visit a set as often as in this last period, and, trust me, it’s not because the production doesn’t work.” She winks at me before taking her tray back to the catering truck.

***

The rest of the day is spent in a way that I can only define as surreal. Everyone avoids the topic of what happened during lunch, but at the same time, they have an extra smile for me. I don’t know if it’s because they’re terrified of the director or because they feel compassion for me, but their continued kindness has the effect of putting me under pressure. I don’t want to make a mistake when they’ve given me their trust, and when I finally climb into my trailer, I’m exhausted more than usual.

I had just changed and slipped into my dress when the door opens without anyone knocking. I’m ready to get angry at the lack of privacy, but the words die in my throat when I meet the icy gaze of Aaron Steel Sr. Unlike his son, his eyes lack that human warmth that makes his son as severe but not as terrifying as this man.

“I learned about your friend’s little adventure.” His voice is calm, but the frost that exudes on it makes a shiver run down my spine.

“I’m sorry, it won’t happen again. I will ask security not to let her in anymore even if she drops my name.” My voice trembles, and I can’t look him in the face.

The silence that follows makes my nerves jump. Does he want to fire me because of Serena? It wouldn’t be so strange since he took the trouble to come here to scold me as soon as he knew. He’s not Aaron. He’s not someone you can talk to. I saw him arguing with his son and heard the chilling words coming from his lips. Someone like that doesn’t bother to come here justto reproach me. I wonder if anyone saw him enter this trailer before the door closed behind him. I feel terribly uncomfortable being locked in here alone with him. I look at this place with new eyes, looking for an escape route and thinking about what Aaron told me, to walk away from him.

“No, it won’t happen again because I’ve already gone to talk to security when I heard what happened. And do you know what’s not going to happen again?” he asks as he approaches the couch I’m sitting on, staying just a few feet away, making me stiffen.

I told Aaron that I knew how to handle this situation with his father, that I had been in this industry for three years now and have had to deal with my fair share of creepy men who believe they can have anything only because they have penises. The truth is that I am not ready to face his father. Never in my entire existence will I ever be able to find a way not to feel entirely in danger in his presence.

“What will never happen again is you appearing on the pages of magazines clinging to my son. And do you know why it won’t happen again? Because you’re going to carry your ass out of his house and out of his life. If you don’t stop sleeping with him right away, I swear I’ll cut the funds for the streaming division and shut down all productions. I just have to snap my fingers to take everything Aaron worked for away from him. Do you want me to take away his dream?” His wicked words hit me with a wave of ice that makes me tremble. Literally.

Aaron would die. This company is his whole life. I see the dedication he has for everything that happens here, the worries he cannot hide, and the satisfaction when some significant recognition rains on one of his projects. To take all this away from him means to kill not only his dream, but the one for which he sacrificed his whole life. I can’t be the person who clips the wings of that phoenix tattooed on his skin.

“No… I…” The words die in my throat, weak and trembling.

He stares at me and I want to disappear, climb over this sofa and crawl out of the window behind me. I’m so overwhelmed I can’t look him in the eye.

“Am I clear? Stay away from him if you don’t want me to take everything he worked for,” he states, glaring at me.

I put my hands on my lap and look down. The disgust I feel right now is overcome only by the terror that freezes me to the bones, and I hold my breath unsure of what to say. When he crosses his arms over his chest studying me, I stiffen, close my eyes, and wait for this moment to end. I have no idea if I will leave this room with my heart unscathed, but I am sure of one thing: I will not return to Aaron’s house tonight if these are the consequences.

Some voices coming from outside make my heart pump into my chest. Aaron’s father moves toward the door and when I open my eyes to understand what is happening, his gaze is fixed on me, icy as always.

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