Page 61 of The Producer: Aaron

“You can’t stay here,” I insist, and I’m not sure if it’s because we’re breaking the rules of this place or because I don’t want other men to set their eyes on Dakota. At this point, I struggle to understand what instinct tells me since it continues to clash with my reason.

“I’ll help you get home,” she mutters as she helps me off the stool.

My pace is not very firm, and despite my head spinning, the alcohol has not helped me to silence my thoughts. Indeed, overthinking all day alone has done nothing but make me fall into the spiral where I am convincing myself I am self-sabotaging my career.

The drive is quiet, and Dakota helps me climb the stairs when we get home, accompanying me to my room and helping me take off my jacket, tie, shirt, shoes, and pants, leaving me with a T-shirt and boxers. I lie down, and she lies next to me.

Studying me, she reaches out a hand and skims her fingers along the side of my face. I close my eyes and enjoy her delicate touch.

“Why did you decide to get drunk today?”

“Do I have to have a reason?”

She raises an eyebrow and invites me not to tease her with my bullshit. I smile because it’s Dakota’s way to put me in my place instead of being intimidated. And to think that Tracy was convinced that I could intimidate her. With her, it’s a bit like taming a wild horse. You can gain her trust, but you will never be able to harness her and impose your will.

“Considering you areMr. Perfect, this is totally out of character.”

I smile at her nickname for me. She has given me many over the past few months, but I had not yet heard this one. I open my eyes and watch her as she caresses my face with her fingers, moving my hair off my forehead and looking worried. How did I find a twenty-three-year-old who stays here to look after me during a colossal hangover instead of going out with her friends?

“Do you know that when I turned eighteen, my father made me sign a contract instead of giving me a gift? I committed to working with him for his company that day. If I hadn’t I wouldn’t have seen a single penny of the trust fund that is in my name.”

“Really?” I don’t know if she’s surprised or outraged.

I nod. “My brother Evan never accepted. In fact, my father cut him off from the family money, but I like this job. I have dreamed of doing it since I was a kid and never regretted signing. When I received that money at twenty-five, it was like receiving a gift for something that doesn’t weigh me down.”

Dakota removes her hand from my face, slips it under her cheek, and pauses to observe me, perhaps to understand where I want to go with this speech. Maybe, I do not know either. I spent the day figuring out where the hell I did wrong in my life, but I couldn’t point the finger at anything in particular.

“That was the day he tightened the collar around my neck. I was so convinced I wanted to take over the family business that signing to receive money in return was like winning the lottery. Since that day, this goal has dictated every choice I’ve made. As a twenty-year-old, I daydreamed about the innovations I could bring when I took my father’s place. I felt almost euphoric when I came up with a brilliant idea.”

I never look away from her as she listens to me in silence.

“But every time I shared them with my father, he belittled them, laughed at my naivety, made me feel like someone never good enough to do something decent in life. So I stopped telling him what I had in mind and started working with my head down, trying to become the best at this job.

“When he allowed me to open the streaming division, I thought it was the breakthrough I was looking for, that the time had finally come for him to retire and allow me to take over the company for which I sacrificed years of my life. But over time, I realized that it was just a way to keep me quiet, a whim he granted me to appease my eagerness to get to the top. But do you know the ironic thing about this whole story?”

She shakes her head, and I continue with my confession.

“Until today, until I punched him, I never really noticed how tight the collar he put on me was. For years I’ve struggled to breathe, to feel happy with what I have always loved to do. Only today have I realized how much I hate my life because of him,” I admit.

Dakota moves closer and holds me in a hug. I’m glad she doesn’t say anything because right now, I wouldn’t be able to hear anything but the echo of the regrets of all the choices I’ve made in my life. Never before have I felt envy for my brother, who, despite the difficulties, is living the life he has alwaysdreamed of, being able to really enjoy it with a smile on his lips.

I open my eyes and find Aaron asleep next to me. His room is dim, but I see the sun is already up outside. Like every Saturday morning for a month now, we take time for ourselves to bask in pleasant idleness and live our existence without constantly thinking about work. Things changed since he confessed what he felt for his father. He started putting his personal life higher on his priority list.

It’s been a while since this became my room. I don’t know how it happened, but I started sleeping in the master bedroom and eventually stayed. Even though my clothes are still in the guest room, I haven’t been sleeping there.

“Happy Birthday.” Aaron’s hoarse voice slips over me like a caress on the skin.

He reaches out and draws me to his chest in an embrace that envelops me completely, body and senses. It is beautiful how he is not afraid to express his feelings, how sweetness permeates his gestures as much as sensuality.

“Thank you,” I whisper as I cling to him.

“What do you want to do today? We can invite someone here if you want,” he whispers as he kisses my neck, making me shudder with pleasure.

He asked me several times this month, thinking I was reluctant to invite someone into his home and making excuses. The truth is that I don’t really have anyone who would come to my birthday. When you go out and get drunk at every party, youdon’t have the opportunity to make many friends.

“I don’t have anyone to invite, but we can go out for breakfast if you want,” I say as he pushes away from me to look me in the eye.

He furrows his brow and looks too awake compared to a moment ago, studying with a worried expression.

---