Page 35 of The Senator: Raphael

She hugs her legs against her chest and rests her head on her knee. She looks at me, waiting for something more.

“There was a kiss last night that I don’t know how to read,” I confess.

She nods and I continue. “We’re usually affectionate when are people around, to make the relationship believable, but last night there was no one around, we didn’t have to convince anybody, but it was the most intense kiss I’ve ever experienced. It was earth-shattering.”

“Who made the first move?” she asks without judgment.

“Him.”

She nods. “Have you told him how you felt about the kiss?”

I shake my head. “That’s the problem. I pretended to be asleep this morning to avoid the conversation. Because the truth is, I don’t know how to feel about it.”

She falls silent for a long moment then she moves her gaze toward the ocean in front of us. “This is messed up. A relationship that’s not a relationship, I mean. It fucks with your head, and I’m worried it will fuck with your heart too,” she finally says.

I’m worried, too, because nothing has changed on my end. I can never have a family, and falling for the guy I’m pretending to love, is not on my to-do list. But the lines between fake affection and real intimacy are blurring, because if there’s anything Raphael and I have in abundance, it’s chemistry.

***

When I get home after an entire day out, I’m surprised to find Raphael already changed into sweatpants and a hoodie, lighting up the grill on the patio next to the swimming pool.

“What are you doing home so early?” I’m curious because it’s just six in the evening.

He shrugs. “I was craving some grilled steak and decided to cook dinner tonight.”

“You went to buy steaks?” My eyes bulge out of their sockets.

He laughs. “Yes. I did”

“Wow. Dave must have had a heart attack when you asked him to drive you to the market.” I chuckle.

“He didn’t believe me at first,” he admits.

“I can imagine. Can I help?”

He shakes his head. “I’m all set; just sit and eat when it’s ready. But if you want to keep me company, tell me how your day was and where you went, I’m happy to listen.”

A warm feeling expands in my chest. He already knows where I’ve been because his bodyguards tell him every detail for safety reasons, but I appreciate that he asks. I’m not used to it anymore and it’s a pleasant return to the past.

“I went to see Lola.” I sit down on the stool next to the built-in grill.

“How is she doing?”

I study him for a second. He is genuinely invested in this conversation.

“She’s okay. She wants to find another roommate, but she’s not in a hurry.”

“Sorry about that.”

“Don’t be. She doesn’t need one, and I’m pretty sure she won’t rent my room anytime soon,” I explain and he nods.

“Listen, thank you for the office. I really appreciate it.” I finally have the guts to say it.

He stops cleaning the grill and turns around to face me completely. He smiles as he grabs my hand and comes closer.

“Do you like it? There’s a lot of work yet to do, but I can call an interior designer to help you set it up like you want,” he rushes to explain.

“I love it. It’s the most amazing gift anyone has ever given me.”

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