Page 49 of The Senator: Raphael

I reach out and pull her toward my chest, squeezing her tightly. I have no words to make her feel better. Maybe I can protect her from threats, but I can’t give her happiness. I can’t give her the life she deserves, the stability she craves. And my heart breaks again for her.

***

“Why did you choose all rich schools?” Silver asks Matthew.

We’re in my office and the air is tense after the discussion we had seven days ago, and the moment Silver and I shared this morning when she broke down in tears. I would smile at her question, but I don’t have the strength or the heart. I’m wiped out and it shows.

“Because we’re focused on reaching communities that can change the outcome of the vote.” Matthew’s voice is strained.

I can’t tell if he’s just tired or if he thinks Silver isn’t a good choice anymore. We’ve been discussing all week what happened, and he seems to almost regret pushing me to marry her. What everybody seems to forget is that I fucked up her life. I have no other choice but to make it right.

“So, rich people vote for a billionaire? That’s your strategy?” she challenges him.

Matthew takes a deep breath and closes his eyes for a moment. I know he’s struggling here, but I can’t find the strength to help him out.

“They’re all public schools. It’s not like we picked private schools where parents pay thousands of dollars to send their kids.” He’s doing his best to convince her, but I can see the stubbornness in her eyes. I should have warned Matthew that I pissed her off this morning.

“They’re all in rich neighborhoods,” she points out.

“Where there are higher rates of registered voters,” Matthew shoots back.

Silver grips the papers in her hands so tightly they crumple. She’s gone from annoyed, to stubbornly defending her position, to angry. And this time, a small smile crosses my lips.

“So, you’re avoiding poor neighborhoods because there’re mostly illegal immigrants? They’re the people who need him the most!” she spits angrily.

“They can’t vote, so we’d be wasting our resources!” he shouts back.

“They can’t vote but they have friends who can. And you know what? They can’t vote now, but they may in the future. He wants to run for president, in what? Four years? Eight? The kids that you’re ignoring now they may be the ones voting for him then. Are you even thinking that far ahead or am I the only one doing that?” she shouts back.

Matthew turns toward me with wide eyes and a desperate expression.

“She has a point,” I say and he scoffs indignantly.

“Are you fucking serious right now?” he asks in disbelief.

“Just see if you can add in some of the schools on her list,” I tell him. “We may not visit every one of them. In some neighborhoods there’s real concern about safety,” I add, nodding toward her.

She nods but Matthew is not having it. “Is she calling the shots now? Do you want me to resign as your campaign manager?”

I look at him in surprise. I’ve never seen him act like some kind of jealous boyfriend threatening to leave me if I listen to someone else’s suggestions. I make a mental note to dig deeper in this new development in our professional relationship. It could be nothing, but it could also be something that turns ugly if we don’t vent our frustrations now.

Silver responds angrily, “I’m not calling the shots, but you added this leg of the campaign because you saw an opportunity to exploit my presence to bump up his ratings. I’m putting my face out there and I have an opinion. I’m not your puppet. You can’t tell me what to do and expect me not to speak up when I disagree!” She slams the list of schools on my desk then turns around and storms out of the office.

There is a long silence where I study Matthew and try to figure him out. I can’t tell how deep his frustration runs, or if it’s something bordering on resentment. It’s always been the two of us dreaming up how to change the world, no one else understood what we wanted to do. Even Harrison started to call us crazy at some point. And now that Silver has entered the equation, wanting to help, he seems to have a hard time accepting it.

“Are you regretting letting Silver onboard?” I flat out ask him.

He doesn’t say a word, just lowers his gaze to the floor. That’s all the answer I need.

“She’s helping me, Matthew. She put herself in this for me. I’m sorry if you expected someone more malleable who wants to please you, but that’s not who she is.”

“Why is she doing it?” he finally asks. “She could just take the money at the end of your agreement and disappear. I don’t get why she’s putting all this effort into something that will end.”

“She has nothing to lose. She wanted to change the world in her own way by studying law, but her world imploded eight years ago. She has a second chance, why not take it?”

He looks at me for a long time. “Are you in love with her?”

I expected this question at some point. I smile and shake my head. “No. You know I’ll never love anyone like I loved Kelsey, but she’s an amazing person and I’ll do anything to put a smile on her face, even if this relationship isn’t real.”

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