Page 74 of The Senator: Raphael

He stops in the middle of the room, studying me, waiting for my next move. He seems powerless, defeated, a bit scared, maybe. I don’t want to see him like this. This is not the Raphael I know, the man who swore to protect me.

I walk to the bathroom, turn on the hot water in the bathtub and go back into the bedroom. He doesn’t move an inch, but is following my every move. I close the distance between us and reach out to caress his cheek. He leans into the touch and briefly closes his eyes. He returns his eyes to me when I grab the hem of his jacket and slowly pull it down off his shoulders, placing it on the bed. I do the same with his tie, his shirt. I kneel in front of him and remove his shoes, gently peeling off his socks. I unbuckle his belt and unzip his trousers, then slowly drag them down his legs along with his boxers.

Every layer I peel from him shows me more of the raw feelings bleeding from his heart. Raphael has trained himself to be strong for those who are vulnerable, but nobody stayed around long enough to be strongfor him. I’m not that person. I can’t carry the weight for both of us. But in the privacy of this room, we can be vulnerable together. We can share this weakness without anyone judging us, without having to be strong for anyone else.

Naked in front of me, he watches me drop my clothes to the floor and show him my vulnerability.

I grab his hand and guide him into the bathroom where the tub is now full of hot water. He slips into it first and I follow him, nestling between his legs. His semi-erection presses against my lower back and when he wraps his arms around me and rests his forehead on my shoulder, he lets out a long sigh.

I feel him relax against my back. Skin against skin, we let our fear slip away into the water.

“I don’t know what to do,” he confesses in a whisper.

“I don’t know either, but I don’t want to think about it right now. I want to be here, with you, and chase away this emptiness inside my chest,” I answer after a long silence.

He grabs my chin and turns my head enough to look him in the eye. He doesn’t say a word, but he crushes his lips on mine and sinks his tongue inside my mouth. He keeps me firmly in place as he slips his fingers between my legs. I moan and he swallows every sound with this kiss.

He is rough, frantic, stroking my tongue with his and biting my lips when I try to pull away. He pushes a couple of fingers inside me and cups my pussy, keeping me firmly against his growing erection. He grinds against my back, hard and demanding.

“I need you inside me,” I whimper when he pinches my clit.

He slips his hands on my inner thighs, forcing my legs apart, then pushes one knee over the edge of the tub. I’m open for him, for his cock, his fingers, his exploring. He reaches down and fondles me, putting his hard, long shaft up against my entrance. He grabs my hips in a painful grip and pushes me down on his cock in a rough powerful lounge.

I cry out but I don’t stop him. I need to feel him deep inside me, fucking me with his powerful strokes. He pumps into me in a frantic rhythm. The water sloshes on the floor and I have to grip the tub to brace against his pushes. But it’s not enough. It’s not enough to fill the emptiness inside me.

“I need more,” I breathe. “I need to feel more. I need to feel the pain. I need to feel alive,” I confess without a bit of shame.

We are alone, the two of us, vulnerable and honest. Skin to skin, without walls or filters muffling the naked, human need of our souls.

He slips out of me, leaving me empty and alone as he steps out of the tub in all his naked glory. He rips open my makeup drawer and grabs the coconut oil and the black velvet pouch I brought when I moved in with him. He slips back into the tub behind me and without saying a word he coats a couple of his finger with oil and reaches for my back door. He pushes a couple of times until I relax enough to let his finger invade me. It’s uncomfortable but not painful. He plunges in and out, preparing me, and when he slips his fingers away to push his erection in, I’m ready for the invasion.

He fucks me up my ass as he rubs my clit, slowly coaxing my orgasm. I rest my head on his shoulder and closes my eyes enjoying the fullness, with my legs spread open and my heart fluttering in my chest. He hammers me, grunting and biting my shoulder.

“Do you trust me?” he growls into my ear.

“Yes,” I breathe, and I feel something pressing against my pussy.

I snap my eyes open and look down between my legs. With the pink dildo I sometimes used before I met him, he’s entering my pussy. It’s a bit cold and foreign, but I’m so wet it meets no resistance slipping deep into my core.

“Fuck.” I let out a low, guttural moan.

He cautiously plunges it into me and I arch my back, pushing against his hand to accommodate more.

“Yes, please. Fuck me,” I whine when he goes painfully slow.

He doesn’t let me say it twice, he starts pounding my ass again as he fucks my pussy with the dildo and rubs my clit. I come so hard my body tenses and arches, squeezing his cock inside me.

“Fuck,” he growls while he empties himself inside me.

He slowly withdraws the sex toy and puts it on the stool where he grabbed it. He tightens his arms around my body and keeps me flush against his chest while his erection softens and slips out of me.

We stay there in silence for a long time, until the water turns cold, and Raphael pulls me into the shower to warm up again. He washes my body, my hair, taking care of me like it’s the only way he can feel useful.

***

We walk out of the bedroom and see the sun has already set. Security is still here, and I doubt they’ll go away anytime soon. Even Matthew seems like he hasn’t moved from the spot we left him.

Sebastian approaches as soon as he sees us, his expression unreadable as usual. “We have news,” he says, beckoning toward the couch where I gladly sit down.

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