Page 78 of The Senator: Raphael

“Oh.” It’s the only word I can manage without bursting into tears.

“Do you have somewhere to go?” His soft voice is reassuring.

I shake my head no.

“Do you see that door?” He points to a small door on the right wall. “There is a sacristy and a small bathroom. You can lie down on the bench in there and sleep a bit. You look like you need it. It’s not much, but it’s all I can offer.”

“Thank you. It’s perfect.”

He smiles and slowly walks out of the church with a steady thump of his cane on the floor. I don’t know how I missed him coming in.

After he closes the door and the click of the key resonates in the silence of this place, I’m left alone with my thoughts again, the only demons I’ll never be able to escape.

“Okay, but let’s put aside politics now and talk about something more personal. Shall we?” asks Sean Hardin, the journalist from one of the most influential economic newspapers in the country.

I don’t have a choice, do I? He gave us the questions in advance, and would have interviewed Silver too, but she’s not here. Matthew thought it would be worse to cancel, so I put on my grown-up pants and showed up for the interview.

I was polite, I answered all the questions without being harsh, even though at times I just wanted to stand up and walk out of this room. The only thing stopping me is the fact that we’re filming it for the website, and having proof of my diva complex on video would be the end of my run for senator.

“Go ahead, I’m ready.” I put a smile on my face and hope it looks real. Today Cindy had to work extra hard on my makeup to cover the dark circles under my eyes.

Silver disappeared yesterday, we have no idea where she is, and it’s driving me crazy. Quite literally, to be honest. It’s all I can do to focus on anything but finding her. I have the best men on the case, my private investigator is working overtime to find her, but the terror gripping me isn’t waning. Every hour that passes is worse.

“When we scheduled this interview, we requested that Silver Argent join us. She agreed to come but today you showed up alone. What happened?”

This question was planned, but it’s still painful to hear.

“She ate something that gave her food poisoning last night. She wanted to come anyway, but the shape she’s in right now…let’s just say it would scare us all.” I force a chuckle that almost chokes me.

Sean chuckles too. “She’ll be thrilled to hear your description of her.”

I scratch my head to feign embarrassment. “Well, that won’t be a pleasant conversation for me.”

He lets out a composed laugh while I pretend to be shy about talking about my better half like she’s possessed and throwing up everywhere. It’s all so phony that my skin is crawling under my suit.

“So, no trouble in paradise?” He cracks a smug smile.

I smile too, but I want to punch him in the face. “No trouble in paradise.”

“So, should we be anticipating some big personal news? You know? Morning sickness can take you down for real.” He beams, no doubt thinking his question will lead to the biggest news story of the year.

Thinking about Silver pregnant with my child is something that warms my chest. For the first time since Kelsey, I could have something to look forward to. The idea of losing her makes me feel sick.

“Don’t start those rumors. She’s not pregnant, write it down carefully on that iPad.” I laugh but I want to cry.

The realization of what I could lose hits me hard in the chest and the rest of the interview is a blur I can hardly handle.

When I finally stand up from the armchair and exchange the usual pleasantries with the journalist before walking away, I feel my legs almost give out under me. It’s hard to stand here, exchanging small talk with him while his assistant takes the microphone off, and we quickly agree to another interview if I get elected. With Silver this time. I’m running on nerves and caffeine this morning, and smiling is as painful as getting my teeth pulled.

The moment I sit in my car and Matthew takes his place next to me, I allow myself to relax and let out a sigh.

“You should consider preparing a press release where you announce that you split up,” he says as if it’s some small inconvenience we have to take care of. He doesn’t even look up from his phone as he trashes my relationship with Silver.

“What the hell is your problem?” I snap.

He turns toward me with an annoyed face. “Has it ever occurred to you that she took the money and bolted at the first chance she got?”

“She didn’t even grab her credit or debit cards. Are you insane?”

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