Page 82 of The Senator: Raphael

“I would say maybe they don’t want money but something else for their services,” I blurt out.

I didn’t mean to disrespect his offer, but I’ve never met anyone who helped others out of the goodness of their heart.

“What happened to you that you decided to build such thick walls around your heart?”

“Life, I guess.”

“Well, it’s time for you to find out that life can be forgiving and good too.”

I want to believe him—I need to—but I can’t. Every time I let my guard down, something happens to rip the happiness from under my feet. Raphael is just the latest in a long list of people I love who suffer because they’re close to me. It’s time to break this cycle once and for all.

“I can’t do this anymore,” I blurt out, interrupting Matthew mid-sentence.

He sighs and rubs his face. This is hard for him too, I know, but I can’t think about the campaign knowing Silver is out there. They didn’t see her in any of the security camera footage surrounding the house. She avoided the main roads and the cameras installed on the gates of the neighbors’ houses. She didn’t call a taxi or an Uber. She just vanished in the middle of this neighborhood. It’s Malibu, for Pete’s sake. How is it even possible that nobody saw her?

“Raphael, please.” Matthew voice is a mixture of desperation and resignation.

“She’s been gone for two days; I can’t stay here and do nothing.” I stand and pace my home office.

“You have the best men on this case. Just let them do their job and you do yours,” he pleads.

“I can’t. I can’t focus on my career when I know nothing about where she is. I spent the last fifteen years wondering what would have happened if I’d gone for a run with Alba and Kelsey that day. I refuse to stay here and wait for someone to show up at my door and say they’ve found her body.”

He groans. “And what do you want to do? Search every street and house in the city? You don’t even know if she’s still in the Los Angeles area.”

The idea alone that she’s left the city without us noticing is enough to make me sick.

“Yes. If necessary, I’ll do exactly that.”

“Do you even know where to start?” It’s more of a curious question than a rebuke.

“No. She’s not at Lola’s, they already checked. She’s obviously not at the club,” I repeat out loud and feel the desperation sink in. This is Los Angeles, not a small town in the middle of nowhere. She could be anywhere. I flop into the armchair behind my desk.

“Okay. We need help,” Matthew says before standing up.

“What do you mean?”

“We can’t work like this. If you’re going to stay here moping and worrying all day, I might as well help you find her.”

A small smile forms on my lips. “What do you have in mind?”

“Let me figure out something,” he murmurs, walking out of the room.

Half an hour later, Matthew, Harrison, Aaron, and Leonard are in my living room, waiting for my instructions.

“You know I don’t have a plan, right?” I openly confess.

Leonard gives Matthew the stink eye. “No, we didn’t know,” he growls.

“Well, he’s your friend and he needs your help. Just go with the flow,” Matthew rebukes.

“Go with the flow? Jesus Crist, you’re his campaign manager, don’t you plan things years in advance?” Leonard counters and Aaron and Harrison chuckle at their banter.

“Seriously? This whole fucking week I’ve been trying to work with him, but he’s out of his mind. At this point I’d do anything to find her and just get back to normal,” Matthew spews.

“It was a spur-of-the-moment decision. It’s not his fault,” I chime in before they tear each other’s eyes out.

Leonard scowls at me, and I smile. I know he’s not angry; he just hates to be interrupted on a work day.

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