Page 14 of The Actor: Harrison

“Why is she so angry with you? Did you piss in her coffee?” Viola next to me whispers while Sienna and Pam, the writer, discuss a change in the script.

I can’t hide a half laugh that comes out halfway between a grunt and a scoff. “I don’t know. Ask her,” I mumble under my breath.

“For what it’s worth, I think that they’re great suggestions.”

I feel my chest expand with pride. I’m glad at least she understands I put a lot of effort in. I hope the others in the room understand it too.

“Thank you. I studied this script carefully and I think it’s great.” I smile and wink at her.

“Excuse me, Harrison.” Sienna’s voice feels like a bucket of icy water dumbed over my head.

I turn toward her with a smile, even if I’m boiling inside. I want to stand up and walk out of this room, but that would be a bit too much of a diva attitude I can’t afford right now.

“If you want to be somewhere else, instead of here reading this project, you can go. I’m sure I can find someone to read your part and finish it,” she says coldly.

A few people shift uncomfortably in their chairs. The tension between us is palpable and everyone senses there’s a beef between the two of us. You’d have to be blind and deaf not to notice it.

“Oh, no. Don’t worry. I’mexactlywhere I want to be,” I say with a sweet fake smile.

Sienna’s jaw twitches when she clenches her teeth. She’s so angry with me I almost feel the waves of fury hitting my chest. I can see Viola next to me trying to hide her smile behind the printed pages of script. Some gazes dart back and forth between us, trying to see if we’re going to openly fight or just keep this passive-aggressive vibe going all day. At this point, I want to fight and shout in each other’s faces, but I won’t be the one starting it.

“Please, stay focused on your part and don’t distract the other people doing their job.” She scolds me like a fourteen-year-old caught glimpsing at his phone in class.

“I was just telling Viola how amazing it will be to work with you over the next months,” I spit out with a smile.

Viola loses her shit this time and grunts, trying not to laugh. I know my remark is childish, but she had two options: suck it up and work peacefully with me or go to war and make it awkward and difficult for everyone. She chose the latter and I’m not taking her shit without fighting back.

I was the one insulted that night, but I’m here, doing my job like the professional I am.

By the end of the table read we are all tired and ready to wrap this day. Regardless of what’s happened between me and Sienna, the mood is still one of excitement for this movie.

While we read our parts aloud and go through the different proposals and suggestions, we can feel the scenes coming together in a visual way. We visualize every aspect of the script and make the best of this time around this table.

I have ten full pages of notes written in my notepad and when we come to the next scene, I’m already prepared for battle.

I raise my hand and I can feel everyone holding their breath.

“Do you have a suggestion, Harrison?” Sienna asks with an exasperated tone.

If she hadn’t fought every single one of my ideas, she probably would have the energy to listen to me.

“Yes, I do.” My voice is laced with fake sweetness.

“Go ahead,” she mutters.

She will never refuse to listen to a proposal. It’s not who she is. She gives everyone the chance to voice their opinion because she really cares about what people have to say. She’s not one of those high-and-mighty directors who thinks they know it all and everyone else is a mere pawn for their success. She believes in cooperating to make things better. I saw it in this meeting. I saw how she frowns in concentration while she tries to come up with a solution accommodates other people’s suggestions, smiling proudly when it works.

She loves this job. I’m the problem.

“We have to rewrite this scene.”

“Why on earth do we have to do that?” she asks, baffled.

“You can’t make the sex scene fade to black. It’s a cathartic moment and you are cockblocking it. No pun intended,” I say and someone chuckles.

She seems to count to ten to avoid exploding in my face.

“I’m not transforming this movie in a cheap romcom. There is no romance in this movie, love can’t become the focus at the end of it,” she hisses.

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