Page 17 of The Actor: Harrison

“Oh, it’s a very easy answer to your question: you will lose the money from the contract and have to pay the penalty for breaching it. Do you fucking have the money to pay them back? Do you? Because I sure as fuck don’t!” he barks out without leaving me time to react. “I don’t give a shit about what you have to do. Suck his dick, fuck him, do whatever you want but make it happen. Film this fucking movie and don’t complain. You are the fucking director, the movie is yours, get your shit together and work with him!”

Well, that went more or less as expected. Even the cursing was tame compared to some of his outbursts. The truth is, he’s right. Instead of thinking about recasting I should take my set back and kick Harrison’s ass for not doing what I tell him.

But today I’m too tired to even think of fighting with him. Again. So I just walk out of the trailer and face him.

“Do the scene however you want. Do it more softly or upside down. I don’t care. It’s late, we have to shoot it again tomorrow anyway, so just do it and come back tomorrow with a different attitude because I’m fucking tired of your tirades,” I say as soon as I find him seated alone.

He studies me like he wants to say something but then thinks twice about it. Maybe it’s because he sees my tired face or those of his colleagues on this set. He understands he can’t push again and again because we are all tired already and we have a long way ahead of us. I don’t wait for him to say anything, but turn around and walk back to my chair next to Ellen.

I follow Harrison with my gaze when he goes back to the set. “Ready to shoot one last time for today!” I shout and everyone scurries into their positions.

“Rolling!” Ellen shouts to let the camera operators know we’re ready to shoot. The set is dead quiet.

“Action!” I yell and the scene unfolds in front of us and the cameras.

Harrison is facing Viola and this time his posture is less tense, like he is defeated, something I can relate to right now. His voice is soft, incredulous, almost like the fight has left him at the umpteenth obstacle life threw at him.

I glimpse at Ellen and she is staring enraptured at Harrison’s close-up on the monitor. I don’t know if it’s because he’s one of the handsomest men I have ever encountered, or if it’s because he is giving us the rawest performance of his life.

He is so deep into his character that I can’t see where Harrison ends and his character begins. It’s like he is feeling every single emotion in his chest and pouring it out on screen. I haven’t seen him like this since we started filming, this magic that lives inside him and makes him shine throughout the scene. I have to admit, this is very good acting he is gifting us.

When the scene rolls to an end I call “Cut!” and everyone holds their breath. I can feel it deep in my bones that all eyes are on me. I turn toward Ellen and she’s smiling. She saw it too. She saw that this one was a very good take.

“What do you think? Am I the only one who think we can call it a day?” I whisper to her and she shakes her head.

“That was a freaking good shot!” she confirms and I smile back at her.

A bit of tension leaves and the grip of my stomach relaxes slightly.

“That was good. We move on tomorrow with the next scene,” I say out loud and everyone seems to let out a collective sigh of relief. Even Harrison’s shoulders slump and he smiles a bit while Viola squeezes his arm before leaving the set.

He seems to stay a bit longer, maybe to enjoy the feeling of this moment, almost incredulous that it worked. Then he walks out, looking down without making eye contact with anyone. I wonder why, considering he just proved he was right. He should be boasting about it with everyone, but instead he seems almost ashamed.

“That was a great performance,” Ellen says to me as she packs her things and gets ready to go home.

“It was,” I agree.

“You should tell him that,” she suggests and I know she’s trying to smooth things between us.

This is the first time I’ve worked with her, but I’m starting to appreciate her mission to make things easier for me. Maybe because she is a woman in this industry and she knows how challenging is to be here, and some help is always appreciated.

“I will.” And it’s not a lie. I’m someone who gives credit for a job well done.

I walk out with her and reach my trailer as she goes to talk to the production assistant. When I slump onto the couch, I’m so tired I almost call it a night and go home. But when I take a look at tomorrow’s schedule I stand up, grab the cold brew stored into my fridge, pour it into a cup and let the caffeine do its magic while I prepare for tomorrow.

It’s way past midnight when a knock at the door startles me. “Who is it?” I ask a bit worried. Not that I’m concerned about someone attacking me in my trailer, especially after knocking, but still, I feel the tension gripping my stomach.

“It’s Harrison, can I come in?”

“Yes, sure,” I answer, puzzled. I didn’t expect him at all.

He steps in and I can see his red eyes and tired face. He removed his makeup, but he’s every bit as handsome as when he’s made up for the scene. I guess good genes help a lot in this industry.

“What are you doing still here? It’s late and you have an early shoot tomorrow,” I say as he leans against the counter in front of me.

He’s so tall the trailer appears almost suffocatingly small with him in it.

He shrugs. “I lost track of time.”

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