Page 34 of Jealous Stalker

Ella

Idon’t remember getting home.

My feet walked, my keys turned in the lock, but everything after that the moment I woke up this morning and saw the video waiting on my phone feels like a dream wrapped in static.

I drop my bag. Forget to take off my shoes. I go straight to my room, fall back onto the bed like gravity’s pulling harder now.

My fingers are shaky and clumsy as I reach into my bag. Pull out my phone for the fiftieth’s time today. The screen’s still warm. Still holding proof of how much I’ve handled it. How much my rabid need not to lose it has made me.

Hand shaking harder, I press play. It’s less than three minutes long but I don’t think I take a breath all through the reel I know by heart but still manages to toss bonfires through my system every other second.

The footage starts with his shadow sliding into the frame. Just him standing there.

Silent. Watchful. That broad chest rising and falling too fast. The angle of his body, his jaw, tells me he’s watching me. Probably gauging my reaction.

Then I see my own face—expectant, flushed,inviting—and my stomach twists.

And then the kiss happens.

My belly hollows, my nipples, which I don’t think have softened since I clicked on the video this morning, tightens all over again.

I had to change panties twice at work today. A few colleagues gave me funny looks when I had to dart into the bathroom all of a sudden.

God, how is it that I’ve read smutty books, watched a ton more, even ventured into watching a few clips of porn, and never felt this fevered. This desperate for a man, even the hottest book boyfriend?

Because it’s you. Because it’shim.

Because I canseeit now. See the hunger on his face like he’s starving for me. See how he takes his time approaching where I’m frozen against the wall, like I’m something sacred.

His handstremblewhen they touch my cheeks, with nerves, yes, but mostly with restraint.

And despite having watched this a ton, I still wait for him to say something. Anything. He doesn’t of course.

He justtakesthe moment and makes it his.

And me?

I kissed him back.

Willingly. Desperately. Like I needed him in my lungs more than air.

And as always, exhale with disappointment when the screen goes black. And I just lie there, breathing hard, lips still tingling.Breasts tingling. My pussy soaked and definitely throbbing with a need I’m desperate to assuage.

I should delete it.

I should be terrified.

Instead…

I open my Notes app. And I start typing.

I usedto imagine your hands. How they would look.

Not just touching me, but holding me.

Anchoring me to something solid. Something safe. I imagined I would like that.

Now I know. Not just your hands.

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