She cuts her eyes away and sighs.
“What’s going on with you?”
“Bad week, I guess. Bad day.”
“What happened?”
“I’m just struggling with school stuff.” She drops into a chair. “Everything’s getting harder, and then yesterday my advisor tells me this class I really wanted for fall semester has a mile-long waitlist.”
“Is it offered in spring? I’ll help you come up with a plan B if you want.”
“I know how to check the course catalog, Lorenzo,” she snaps, then immediately looks remorseful. “Sorry. I’m just really stressed.”
“About school?”
She studies her hands, tracing the backs of her fingers. “I’m scared about next year,” she says finally.
“You mean your job? Or us?” I swallow.
“All of it.” Her eyes are pained when she lifts them to meet mine. “I don’t see any way we end up living in the same place.”
“Hold on. My life could go anywhere from here. We don’t have a clue how my season will turn out, let alone what happens after graduation.”
“We know where you’re going to end up.”
“Don’t even start with?—”
“Don’tyoueven start with the jinxing bullshit! If you want to play pro, you can make it happen. And even if you didn’t,” she adds, waving me off, “you can be anything you want.”
Her certainty makes my pulse pound with frustration. “What I want is to be with you. That’s why I’m getting a bad fucking feeling lately, Ruby. Like there are things you’re not telling me.”
“No,” she says quickly. “There’s not.”
“Really?” I give her a long look. “I can barely get you to call me back lately.”
She doesn’t meet my eye. “I’m sorry. Maybe I have been pulling away a little.”
“Yeah, no shit you’ve been pulling away.” But hearing her admit it herself—that maybe I’m losing her—sends fear surging through me.
Her fingers curl nervously, her eyes moving around the room like the right response is written somewhere on the walls. “You know how I feel about you, Lorenzo. I’m just trying to be more independent. I have to stop acting like a baby and running to you for comfort all the time.”
“That’s a relationship, Ruby.”
“I need to be able to take care of myself no matter what happens. If I could have it my way, nothing would change. But if things go your way, everything will change. That’s reality.”
“Circumstances will change. Not feelings.”
She gives me an empty look. “You can’t know that.”
I swallow against my tightening throat. “Okay, what would change?”
“You’ll be a celebrity.”
I scoff. “I’m not that good, Ruby. I’ll be lucky to make the NFL at all. And even if I was ... so what?” I lean close and press my hand to her cheek. “You’re all I want. I love you.”
Her eyes close, and she turns her head so her lips brush my hand. She dots a tiny kiss against my palm.
“Ruby,” I say quietly.