Page 45 of Let It Be Me

“Okay, seventh.”

“Well, I’m flattered by Jason’s opinion, but at best I was one of those things; occasionally.”

Lorenzo looks amused. “Which one?”

“Which do you think?”

“I just said I agree with all of them! Jeez, quit fishing,” he jokes. “You could have been engaged to a future tech billionaire by now. Isn’t that enough for you?”

“What?”

“Jason. He graduated early and started some AI tech company. He’s supposed to be worth a few million and multiplying by the day.”

I let that sink in. It’s impressive but hardly surprising. You didn’t have to know Jason well to know he was never going to be ordinary.

“I bet he’s already sunk his money into real estate or something smart like that. Probably something I’ve never even heard of,” Lorenzo continues.

“Or crypto, maybe?”

Lorenzo gives me the finger and I laugh. Freshman year of college he won a few hundred bucks gambling and converted it to crypto, where it lost all value within two months. “Yeah, you definitely hitched your wagon to the wrong Lakeside Prep graduate.”

I recognize the sour feeling in the pit of my stomach as my mood turns. I was such an idiot in high school, chasing boys who weren’t interested in me, mouthing off to teachers, and constantly skating on the edge of academic failure. I was a loser and I knew it. I leaned into it, somehow even made it cool to a certain subset of kids—also losers—because I was sure it was the only thing I could be. But looking back, I had so many chances to pull myself out of it.

Now everyone from those days has moved on and found their way, winning academic awards, applying to grad programs, founding million-dollar tech companies. And I’m still the same: zero achievements under my belt, no clue where I’m headed, and boasting the attention span of a gnat.

“What’s wrong?”

I look up to find Lorenzo watching me. “Just having a little pity party, you know how it goes.”

“What, because of Jason? Come on, I was kidding about the future-wife stuff. He was never your type anyway.”

“Right, ’cause instead of snorting lines and doing backflips off a moving speedboat, he looked me in the eye and asked me questions about myself.”

“Hey, the heart wants what it wants.”

“That wasn’t my heart, that was my booze-and-weed-fried brain.”

“Really? You’re sitting here four years later wishing you’d dated Jason?”

“I’m just wishing I did things differently.”

“Everyone does. You think my regret doesn’t run bone deep?” He looks out over the water, and I know he’s thinking of Anthony.

“You turned it around, though. Did I tell you my professor said I’ll never make it in quality assurance?”

“She said that?”

“Pretty much.”

“Yeah, I can see how a person who knows nothing about you would have a real knack for predicting your future.” He dismisses the idea with a wave. “Come on, Ruby.”

“I just feel like everyone’s moving past me.”

“I’m not.”

I smile, but I’m suddenly overwhelmed by sadness. “The NFL, Lorenzo? You’re moving faster than anyone.”

“We’re sitting on the same lake we’ve sat on for thirteen years together. I’m not going to leave you behind, Hayes.”

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