Page 74 of Let It Be Me

“Hmm. How about both? I’m thinking about a gummy-bear-potato-chip-sandwich experiment.”

She looks impressed. “You get wild when we take you out of Shafer, don’t you?”

“I still know how to let loose, even at my age.”

After we gorge ourselves on processed snack foods, Ruby sits back into the corner of the seat, folds her legs over my lap, and,with slight shyness, pulls me closer. The feel of her warm, bare legs under my hands makes me wish we’d gone home and spent the night alone. It’s a strange jolt every time we move from friendship to something more. I’ve never been this playful with any girl I dated, never felt like she was my best friend. That’s one of the things I always feared about getting involved with Ruby: that the playfulness would fade away or that we couldn’t be who we always were together. But her smooth skin under my hands reminds me I can touch her in places other guys can’t and I can feel my dick harden for her and, still, sex won’t be the reason this is one of the best nights I’ve had in months.

We watch passengers move up and down the aisles and take turns making up stories about who they’re hurrying home to and where this day has taken them. I try to keep mine G-rated, but a few take a turn for the sexual. I can’t help it. Ruby’s skin is running hot thanks to the underpowered air-conditioning in the train car, and every time she moves in that skimpy dress, I wonder whether I’m about to get a glimpse of one of those hidden tattoos. She keeps giggling into my ear and sending waves of her coconut scent under my nose. When a man who looks eerily like her dad moves up the aisle, we spin a tale about Richard’s long-lost twin, and Ruby laughs so hard she has to stifle her snorts against my shoulder. By the time the train rolls back into the station in Shafer, her warm body is draped against my side.

“That was the best night.” Ruby takes my hand as we cross the darkened parking lot toward my car.

This is a grossly overused phrase in her vocabulary, but this time I agree. “I’ll still get us murder mystery tickets if you want.”

She shakes her head. “Nothing could top that train ride.”

“Really? Nothing? No five-star restaurants or starry nights or trips to Paris?” I unlock the car and open her door.

“Something would go wrong there too. You always want everything to be perfect,” she says affectionately.

“So?” I cross to the driver’s side.

“So it never is.” Ruby gazes at me across the roof of the car, her eyes glowing. “And it’s always good anyway.”

With you it is,I think as she ducks into the car. Ruby knows how to ride the wave, to enjoy the good and wait out the bad. I guess that’s how I ended up here, ignoring the logic that kept me at arm’s length from her for years. I didn’t plan it, didn’t even see it coming. I just said yes when my instincts told me to. It’s time I put a little more faith in them.

I keep sneaking looks at her on the ride home. Her blond hair is messy in the place where she leaned her head against me on the train, and while her energy has died down, her brown eyes are still bright with happiness. The sight of her like this stokes something deep inside me.

“You want me to take you home?”

“Sure.” She takes her time looking over at me, her expression building slowly. “You can hang out if you want.”

I swallow. Is this what she does with every guy? Teasing, drawing out the moment, leaving a question in the air about what she wants and how bad she wants it? Or am I just making things up in my head because I’m confused about what to do with all the ways I want her?

We park in front of her place. When the engine dies, we exchange a brief look in the dark silence of the car. We’re not about to go inside and read liner notes, that much I know. Then she breaks away and gets out of the car. I follow her like a goddamned puppy.

TWENTY-EIGHT

lorenzo

Inside,Ruby drops her purse on the floor and turns for my arms. Her eyes are hazy as she tilts her head up to kiss me, and I think,Thank fucking god. I can’t hold it together anymore. But just before our lips meet, she stops, pushing back so she can look at me. It’s work to drag my gaze from her mouth to her eyes.

“Lorenzo,” she purrs. “Thank you.”

“For what?”

“Tonight. It was perfect.”

“I thought you said nothing is ever perfect.”

She cocks her head. “This time it was.” Then she finally lets me kiss her.

We drift toward her room, our bodies tangled and our mouths separating just long enough to look where we’re going. Her hands are experimental on my body, skimming my shoulder and biceps, gripping my back. But never for long enough.

I pull her into me, craving the feeling of skin on skin. I need the weight of her body on mine. I lock her into a kiss, and together we move for her bed. She falls on top of me without hesitation and spreads her knees on either side of my waist. My mind captures an image of her in that position, then instinctually alters it so she’s naked. I groan. This isn’t what Imeant when I said we should take it slow. We’ve shot right past it, and I don’t think I give a shit. If I’m lucky, we’re at the point of no return.

Ruby crushes her body against mine and finds my mouth again. Her tongue sweeps inside, a kiss so full of wanting that for an instant I forget the rest of my body. A kiss that builds so fast the only possible next step is clothes coming off. But she breaks the kiss, her smile smoldering.

“Are you okay?” I brush my thumb over her wet lips the way I’ve wanted to for years.

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