Page 51 of Lockout

“No,” I gasped. “I thought maybe you had.”

“Nope.” He rested his forearms on the table and just watched me.

I had no doubt he was cataloging every micro expression on my features. I’d long suspected he was an expert in reading body language and micro expressions. How else could he possibly know so much about everyone? Half the time it seemed like he could read minds.

“You’re feeling insecure about the fact that we fucked after drinking,” he said, proving my point.

My face heated up. “We didn’t though. I mean. I wasn’t drunk anymore when we…” Huffing out a frustrated breath, I shoved my hands into my hair. Why was I able to talk about just about anything when it had nothing to do with me? Yet I added myself to the mix and suddenly all I could do was blush and stammer?

“When we had sex,” I said, finishing the sentence. “I just don’t want to force you into anything.”

“You didn’t.”

“I don’t want anyone else to, either,” I snapped. “And Warrant kind of forced your hand last night.”

“No he didn’t,” he replied. His neutral demeanor was winding me up when it should be calming me down. “I was the one who interrupted your dance. Who took it farther and claimed you. And I only did that because I want you. If I didn’t, I wouldn’t have given a shit if Warrant was dancing with you. And I did,” he said in a deep, irritated voice.

It was too bad I couldn’t get my clients to take even a quarter of this amount of responsibility for the things they did. It would make my job a lot easier. Since we were being honest here. “I’ve wanted you for a long time,” I admitted.

“I figured.” His grin was devious and full of satisfaction.

“Then why did it take this long to,” I waved my hand around, “get here? You wanted me. I wanted you.”

The smile slipped off his face and he shook his head. “You weren’t in a position to start something with me.”

I frowned at that. “What?”

“You were taking that job with the feds.”

“I wouldn’t have taken it if you’d asked me to stay,” I told him, shocked.

“I know. That’s why I couldn’t ask you to stay.”

It was my turn to shake my head, but it was in disbelief. “That makes no sense. Part of why I took the job was because I thought I was the only one who felt something…”

He sat back in the chair, staring at me. “If I’d stopped you from taking that job, you would have come to resent me.” He frowned. “Of course knowing what I know now, I wish I had so you would’ve never gotten on the LoS’s radar.”

I was still stuck on the first half of his statement. The second half didn’t matter. You couldn’t change the past. “Wait. You think I would’ve resented you?”

It would be so easy to get pissed off at him for taking away my chance to make my own choice, but he was being open and honest. And I was starting to get what happened. If I looked at it from his point of view, then he was just trying to do what was best for me. I couldn’t really blame him for it. He had to do that every day with the club and his business. Probably did it a lot in the military too. It was a little annoying, but something we could talk about and get past.

Talking was something I was good at. That was partly why I’d become a lawyer. It was also easy for me to set my emotions aside and debate a topic, so it just seemed like the right career. I was so much like my mother, I knew it would be a good fit for me.

He nodded. “Your career is important to you.”

“Well…yeah, it is,” I admitted. “But being with you is, too.” One side of his lips kicked up in a lopsided smile, so I pointed the toast I was still holding at him. “Keep your ego in check for a few minutes here and follow along as I say this.” A brow shot up, but that was his only reaction. “I make my own decisions. But I can’t really make the right ones if you keep me in the damn dark, Lockout. I need you to tell me what’s going on in that head of yours. And with everything else, otherwise I’m going to choose something based on only a portion of the facts. I wouldn’t have cared if I’d missed out onthatparticular job.”

“You say that now that you knew what was going to happen.”

I shook my head in denial. “No. I didn’t really want to take it to begin with. I love Tucson. I didn’t like the idea of living in D.C. for six months. But I needed a break from…wanting… for you and seeing you every day, but not being able to have you.”

“That was why I had to let you go,” he said, voice deep. “I needed the space, too.”

I smiled at him. “Maybe we should make a pact to just speak to each other from now on?”

He chuckled. “That would probably be a good idea.” He crossed his arms over his chest. “I don’t want to crush your dreams, Keely.”

I blinked at his admission. “You don’t seem like a dream crusher, Lock. Why do you think that’s going to happen?”

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