While she’d loved the zoo, the wolves had been her favorites—she’d thought they were big dogs and wanted to take one home. Matt had warned Darcy of Lulu’s fascination with all things canine. And apparently a puppy was not on the agenda.
“Wolves aren’t pets, sweetheart,” Matt said as he shuffled Lulu and the bag into one hand, unlocked the door, and pushed it open. “They’re not like…” He trailed off as if realizing he was digging a hole for himself.
“Puppies?” Lulu finished for him. “Woof.”
“We don’t need a puppy,” he said. “We’ve got you.” He tickled her so she giggled, then yawned and hid her face in his shoulder.
Darcy trailed behind him. He paused at the bottom of the stairs. “Why don’t you go wait in the kitchen? There are beers in the fridge. I’ll call you when she’s down.”
She nodded. Beer sounded like a great idea. She hadn’t been this knackered since—hell, she couldn’t remember when. A big part of it was mental, not physical. Just trying to stay one step ahead of Lulu had kept her brain shifting all day. She grabbed a bottle of beer from the fridge and rolled the cold glass over her forehead. Then she collapsed into one of the chairs at the table and took a long gulp. So good. She downed the rest of the bottle, thought about getting another, but couldn’t get herself to move.
How could something that “normal” women found so easy be so goddamn hard?
Was she missing some basic component?
She rested her chin on her hand as a wave of depression washed over her. She’d wanted this so badly, and she’d failed. Maybe she would be doing Lulu a favor if she backed out now. It would hurt, but perhaps it’d be better for everyone in the long run. She was sure Matt was wondering how he could limit her involvement. She could just help him out and walk away.
But she couldn’t do it.
She had no clue why Lulu pulled at her heart so much. Was it just stubbornness?
The door opened and Matt appeared. She’d hardly noticed him all day, her attention taken up by Lulu. He was…smiling. He didn’t speak but gestured for her to follow him. She did, trying not to admire his ass as he climbed the stairs ahead of her. He pushed open a door at the top and stood to the side, signaling her to move past him.
She stepped into the room. The light was dim, but she could see the small cot bed. Lulu’s eyes were closed at last. And yes, she was sweet when she was asleep. Hard to believe. She made to turn away, but then looked back. Lulu was wearing the judo outfit she’d bought her, and the little fighter doll was clasped in her arms.
“She insisted,” Matt murmured from behind her.
Her eyes pricked and she resisted the urge to go hug the little girl—not a good idea. “Aw.”
They both tiptoed out of the room, and Matt pulled the door closed behind them. “She also asked me if she could have a nose stud, like Aunty Darcy. I said not yet.”
Oh my God, she was going to get all mushy and cry. She didn’t cry. Not ever. She got angry or sarcastic or something. Just not weepy. But for the first time, she thought that maybe things were going to be okay. Perhaps Lulu didn’t hate her, after all. She sniffed. “I think I’ll go home now.”
“I’ll call a cab.”
“No need. I’d like to walk.”
She needed to get herself under control before she got home. Just in case Regan or Summer was in residence. Otherwise she would never hear the end of this.
“Thank you,” she said.
“Next week?”
“Yeah. I should be recovered by then.”