Page 78 of The Bad Girl and the Baby

“You could do it. You could do absolutely anything you want to.”

“Well, I don’t want to. And neither does Matt. And if Lulu was old enough to be given the choice, she would probably choose to go to Australia, too.” All she’d talked about on their last outing was her grandparents and Hannah and the puppy they had promised her when they got home. She pursed her lips, hoping Regan would drop the subject. No such luck.

“Maybe you wouldn’t be a typical army wife, but that’s not why you’re doing this. Or rather, not doing this.”

“This?”

“Going after what you really want. Fighting for the people you love.”

“People?” She gave Regan her best narrow-eyed stare.

“Don’t snap my head off, Darcy Butler. You don’t scare me. You love Lulu, and you love Matt, and that terrifies you to death, because you don’t think you deserve either of them.”

She looked away, wishing she could get up and put an end to this conversation, but she had a suspicion that Regan would just follow her.

“You still blame yourself for Emma’s death. But it wasn’t your fault. Any more than it was Matt’s fault or Steven’s parents’ fault. It was all down to Steven.” She hesitated for a moment, then took a deep breath and continued. “And Emma.”

Darcy glanced away, felt her eyes prick—she was turning into a positive waterworks. “I always looked after her. I remember my gramps telling me—I must have been only four years old—that she wasn’t as tough as me, and I had to look out for her. So I did. Stopped her from being bullied at school, beat up this guy who kissed her when she was twelve.” She grinned. “She wasn’t too happy about that one.”

“You know,” Regan said. “That’s the first time I’ve ever seen you smile when you’ve talked about Emma.”

The comment brought her up short. It was a cliché, but it was true that time did heal wounds. She would always be heartbroken by what had happened with Emma, but she could also remember the good times.

“But my point is, Emma was a grown woman. She wasn’t stupid, and she made a choice to stay with Steven. God knows why.” Regan shook her head. “How could two sisters be so different? I can’t imagine you putting up with bullshit like that for more than five seconds.”

She imagined asshole Steven trying to hit her, then she imagined her fist smashing into his face and enjoying every moment. “One second.”

“Yeah. But Emma stayed. When she was on her own, that might have been understandable, but once she had Lulu, it was indefensible. She wasn’t only risking her own life; she was also risking Lulu’s.”

Trust Regan to get it right.

Yeah, she’d been grief-stricken when her sister died. But she’d also been furiously angry with Emma. Only that anger had nowhere to go because Emma was dead. So it had turned inward, and she’d taken the blame on herself.

Now for the first time, she accepted where the real blame lay. Steven and Emma.

A tight band loosened from around her.

She hadn’t even realized it was there, it had been part of her for so long. She felt light and free. “Thank you,” she said.

Regan shrugged. “It was time someone said it. You wouldn’t have listened before. So, now that we’ve decided you don’t deserve to be punished for the rest of your life, and perhaps youdodeserve love as much as any of us, can we get back to the subject of Soldier Boy and your broken heart?”

“It’s not broken, just a little bent out of shape.”

“Stop being brave—it’s smashed into lots of sharp little pieces. It looks like it hurts every time you take a breath.”

Darcy poured herself a glass of wine and drank it while she considered her answer. “He told me he loved me.”

Regan had been about to take a sip of wine, but now she lowered the glass to the table and stared. “He loves you?”

“It doesn’t matter. It makes no difference. We’re incompatible. Total opposites. He’s OCD, and I’m chaos and…”

“And?”

“He’s got a really dangerous job. I’ve lost everybody. I can’t spend my life worrying about losing him. Anyway, he said he loved me—he didn’t say he wanted to marry me or anything. He knows as well as I do that it would be a disaster.”

Regan shook her head. “Did I just say you were brave? I take it back. You want polar opposites—look at me and Nate.”

“He gave up everything for you.”

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