Page 82 of The Bad Girl and the Baby

“I offered Darcy joint custody,” he said. “She didn’t want it.”

Regan raised a brow. “Hmm, she didn’t tell me that. I wonder why.”

“She’s scared,” Summer said softly. “Scared of losing you. But that just means she cares a lot.”

He knew that. He’d recognized her fear. She didn’t want to risk her heart on someone like him. He wasn’t a good bet. And he would always remind her of Steven. Why the hell would she ever want to love him?

“And you’re scared as well,” Summer continued. He wanted to interrupt, to refute her words. He was just being sensible, but she didn’t give him the chance. “That’s okay. This is scary stuff. You’ve just got to decide if you want her enough to face your fears.”

With her words, he realized he’d been in denial. That churning in his gut, the feeling he’d been trying to ignore, but which had been his constant companion since his mother’s offer to take Lulu, was fear. Plain and simple. He’d encountered it many times before. He recognized it from going into combat. The difference was, he’d never before given in to it. He’d always conquered his fear. Now it was conquering him. He was allowing his fear to get the better of him. Make decisions for him.

But he’d never been this scared in his entire life.

“I suppose what you really need to do”—Regan cut into his thoughts—“is decide whether you want to be a lonely, pompous prick all your life. Or whether you’re going to grab the chance to be happy.”

“Darcy is the best person in the whole world,” Summer said. “She’s stronger than all of us. She just thinks she’s broken.”

“And,” Regan added, “this whole thing with you has just reinforced that conviction.”

“But she isn’t broken.”

Finally, they went silent. What the hell did they want from him? He’d tried.

“I told her I loved her. That I wanted to keep seeing her. I offered her joint custody. It makes no difference. She doesn’t want us.”

“You didn’t offer her enough,” Regan ground out. “You have to offer her everything. Not some half-assed, let’s-keep-fucking-seeing-each-other, crappy offer. Not joint custody. Every-fucking-thing. And you have to convince her you mean it. Which means first you have to convince yourself. Is Darcy what you want? More than anything?” She rose to her feet.

Summer followed. “We’ve said enough. It’s down to you now. But you’re a good man. You’ll do the right thing.”

“You’d better,” Regan muttered. “Hey, isn’t your motto ‘Who dares, wins’? Well, time to start daring, Soldier Boy.”

They let themselves out. Matt stayed where he was. He leaned back and stared at the ceiling.

Could he do it? Could he conquer his fears?

In that moment, he knew he had to. Or live with this gnawing sense of loss for the rest of his life.

…

This had been Matt’s mom’s suggestion. A going away party. Something Lulu would remember.

They were flying out tonight. Darcy was going to the airport with them. She was trying not to think about it, because that would definitely put a damper on the party spirit.

Darcy suspected the party was also a plan to get Lulu so exhausted that she would sleep on the plane. Highly unlikely.

Regan and Nate were here, as were Summer and Nik. They appeared so happy—it made her sniff every time she looked at them. At least, that was her excuse. And Summer’s mom, Elizabeth, and her husband, Phil, came as well. They were having the party in one of the training rooms because the apartment didn’t have wheelchair access. Lulu had been fascinated by Elizabeth’s wheelchair and insisted on sitting on her lap, squealing loudly as Elizabeth drove it around the room.

Darcy stood off to one side, watching, with Sam beside her. He was finally accepting that she wasn’t going back on the fight circuit.

“What will you do?” he asked. “You’re not selling up are you?”

She’d been thinking about it a lot. “No. I’ll keep the gym. But I want to do some work with women’s groups. Offer more self-defense classes. I’ve been talking with social services about holding some meetings at the shelters.” She was excited about the idea. If she could change just one woman’s life, make them see that they were strong, could defend themselves, then it would make her feel like she was doing something worthwhile.

The wheelchair came to a halt in front of her, and Lulu held out her arms to her. “Lulu love Darcy.”

Tears pricked at her eyes, but she forced a smile. “And Darcy loves Lulu.”

“I know.” Lulu gave her a kiss on the cheek, and Darcy whirled her around until she was squealing again. “Zoo next week?” Lulu asked when they stopped.

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