Page 17 of Tommy

I appeared in the doorway, walking and moving more comfortably. “I think I’m ready.”

Hardin sighed. “You’ve still got to get your jacket on,” he said. “And a scarf. And gloves.” His voice was deep, almost demanding and disappointed, yet, through the voice, I could sense he wasn’t actually pissed about any of it. “Then you’ll be ready.”

I didn’t know if I’d ever be ready to ride a horse, but there was apparently always time for a first, like the first time I was experiencing life without the internet, or a real winter where the snow didn’t disappear after a couple days. And my first time meeting a cowboy, a gay cowboy at that. There were a lot of firsts happening.

8. HARDIN

Once we were in the stable, I could see how nervous Tommy was. He was rubbing his hands together and making glances back at me, every time I moved my head, he tried to catch my eye and ask the same type of question about what to expect while riding.

“I told you,” I said, opening Belle’s stable. “It’ll hurt a little, but you’ll get used to it. There’s some cushion in the saddle, but it won’t take away all the aches.” Belle rubbed her nose against the side of my head as I walked inside her warm stable.

“Ok, ok,” he said, softly back to himself. “Another question, do the horses not get cold?”

“Yeah, and no,” I said, slowly pulling away the blanket I had over her back. “The stable is always warm and they’ve always got blankets on them during winter to make sure they stay warm.”

“And—”

“No more questions,” I told him. “Just listen.” I explained to him that we weren’t going to be doing any strenuous. This was hardly going to be a cross country ride. Neither him, or the horses could handle that type of stress or effort, plus, the snow out there in some parts of the land was considered dangerous for the horses to trot through. I didn’t know if any of the information I told Tommy was going in, but he was nodding and still nervous two-stepping side to side.

“I don’t have that great upper body strength,” he said. “Most of my hand action is reserved for drawing, and—”

“Relax, you’ll still be able to masturbate,” I laughed to myself as I encouraged Belle out of the stable. She was the least fussy of all the horses, and Tommy needed to bond with her while I prepared the other two. “You want to help me dress her.”

He was beet red, either the stable was too warm, or he was blushing. “That’s not what I was worried about,” he mumbled.

Belle gave a little dance with her hoofs whacking against the ground. He flinched. “Another note, the most important one actually. Never stand behind a horse. Ever. Even Belle.”

Tommy pressed himself a little further back against the wall where all the saddles and equipment were. “I don’t think I have insurance to cover that,” I said.

“Relax, this place is insured up to the eyeballs,butnothing is going to happen to you,” he said. “I’ve just gotta tell you all this.” The fear painted across his face was the same fear I’d seen before. It was always the worst case scenario. And bless him, I just wanted to grab one of the large horse blankets and weigh him down with it like a hug, but without crossing a boundary. “Ok, you wanna come away from that board. Belle’s stuff is the pink.” And this time I winked at him, and I wanted him to see it.

“Uh. Oh.” Easily flustered further, he turned around to see all the light pink attire; stable, pad, the girth, the bridle, and the reins. “And you need help with this as well?”

I didn’t know if he needed an actual response from me, but he was going to help.

Belle was dressed relatively easy and quick, even if Tommy was a little too nervous to get too close to her now that she wasn’t in her stable. As I went to deal with Scout, I handed him a brush for Belle’s mane and told him to go to town. She loved being brushed.

I dressed Scout alone while Tommy got acquainted with Belle better. His hands no longer shaking when he went to stroke her, and even removing his gloves to feel her. He was going to enjoy it once he got on it, everyone always did. The only factor that paused me to question it all was the snow outside andthe barely visible path we’d follow around the land to get them exercised.

“If this place got any signal, I’d have watched a video or two,” he remarked. “But I guess I’ll stick to learning the old fashion way.”

“Hey, you’ve checked feeding chickens, and milking goats off your list, riding a horse is next, and then who knows, maybe I can help you cut wood better,” I said. “Or building a better blanket fort.” I’d seen the crayons and pages spilling out of it earlier. I didn’t want to consider it a sign to who he was, because I’d been wrong about it before, and if I was wrong now, it would make for an awkward twenty days.

“I’m an expert at building blanket forts,” he said. “And I wouldn’t want to ruin the reputation you’ve got by even asking you to help me build one.”

I took the front of my cowboy hat and pinched it slightly as I nodded to him. “I wouldn’t want to show you up, but in the summer, I’m always out building shelters and huts to stay in overnight.” I knew this land as if I was part of it. I’d never leave it, my veins ran like tree roots in the ground from a great pine.

Thunder was the last one ready. I didn’t get him ready to ride, but I added his bridle and a rein so that I could keep some form of physical hold on him while I was on Scout.

Winter was the worst time of year for the horses. They needed more warmth, more food, and they couldn’t go out as often because of the snow, and they required a little extra time to be warmed up.

After hoisting Tommy up on the back of Belle, he groaned a little, something about needing to readjust. Belle knew a newbie, but she wasn’t like Thunder who would test you on the back. I used the rein to walk her around the open stable area with Tommy on back, getting used to the sensation. Hecontinued to make little noises with each and every step that jostled him.

“You’ll get used to it,” I said.

I wasn’t sure if he did, but after a lap around the barn to warm the horses up and give Tommy some more direction on the control over the horse through the rein, we were ready to head out on a short trot around the larger plot of land.

Thunder was equipped with out water skins and snack items, just in case something happened that took us far off course, but it was fairly uneventful, except for Tommy’s constant comments on wondering whether or not he’d decimated his balls.

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