Page 20 of Lucky Sucker

9. WREN

I didn’t know what he meant by his text, and I didn’t want to ask any further. I was interested in investigative journalism, but where Luke was concerned, I didn’t want to get too close to knowing more than I bargained for, and it could’ve all been one elaborate hoax.

Was he gay? Maybe bisexual. Either way, it wasn’t my space to question him. And I wasn’t going to use that in my write-up about the team.

Surprisingly, even after an exhausting day, I couldn’t sleep.

Most of the night I crocheted and watched cartoon, catching myself on occasion swaying side to side in a self-soothing rocking motion. My brain had been on constantly, even in little space, which is where my brain was supposed to turn off and enjoy all the things that brought me joy.

At 7 A.M., after an unknown number of hours, I found myself stretching awake and nearly whacking my laptop off the side of the bed.

My brain still swirled with thoughts about Luke and what he’d told me last night. I didn’t know if he was coming out to me, and I was kinda hoping to know more about it. If only for my own selfish reasons because that little crush everyone had for Luke might’ve been a sign of other things for me, like maybe the start of a potential fling. It would’ve probably been unethical then to also be assigned to report for the team.

All morning, it consumed me, from breakfast to brushing my teeth, to leaving the house before anyone else could wake up and make small talk with me, all the way on my walk up to the main campus buildings. I needed answers, I needed to know.

The air helped, fresh and crisp, being in nature was always an opportunity to clear out my mind. I didn’t want it too clear. I could do with avoiding the assumptions from people that I had nothing going on behind my eyes, as they had all throughout high school.

Reaching the library on campus, my phone pinged. It was for the college notice board under the Orcas, a new thread had been posted. I got notifications about those. I needed to so I could stay up to date on all team gossip.

The thread read, ‘LUKE HOTCKISS IS HOMOPHOBIC’and my stomach sank, my eye twitched, and I almost lost the breakfast I’d eaten. I clicked the thread so quick, standing just outside the library, ready to reach for a nearby bicycle rail to steady myself.

The first post for ten seconds ago was a compilation of old social media posts, screenshotted where he’d said, several times about things beingso gay, from sitting exams to curfews, he was really throwing around the phrasethat’s so gaylike it was going out of style, and I couldn’t believe one of them. I didn’t want to believe any of them.

My mind was clear now.

* * *

Luke Hotchkiss was unphased by all the eyes on him. I watched as he strutted through the cafeteria, walking right towards me. He carried a white plastic bag in one hand and the strap of his backpack in his other hand.

I couldn’t shuffle and force myself to appear larger than I was to take up the entire table. I didn’t want him to come near me right now. He was radioactive with all the heat on him. I moved around my empty bottle and food tray, as well as the books I had on media theory.

“Like I promised,” he said, placing the bag in front of me.

“I saw the screenshots,” I immediately said, still quiet, I couldn’t raise my voice, even when it was cut off in all the cafeteria noise.

He sat in front of me and sighed but there was still that smile on his face. “I see why you could be mad.”

“I’m not mad, I’m just trying not to be around you,” I said, breaking eye contact, which was very difficult when he had such gorgeous eyes.

“You’re taking part in the Ice Kings Fantasy League?” he asked, grabbing at the flyer in front of me. I tried snatching it, but I had absolutely no grip to give. “Am I going to be one of your picks? I guess it all depends on the order you pick, right.”

“But the reason I don’t want to be around you is because of those posts,” I told him.

Luke turned the media theory book around to look at that as well. “Those are from when I was like twelve or thirteen,” he said. “I’m not being malicious about it, Wren. I’m not a homophobe.”

“Could’ve fooled me.”

He grabbed my hand. My gaze snapped back to his. “I’m not. I have a sneaking suspicion I know who did this.”

“Who made those posts?” I asked, my skin immediately beginning to sweat under his touch.

“No, who screenshotted them, who posted them, who—who is now making me look like I’m something I’m not,” he said. “Coach has already had me in his office, it’s not looking good, but I wanted to ask you if you’d help me out with it.”

I shook my head before I could even hear him. “I don’t know if I can,” I said, filling the silence.

“You don’t have to do anything, actually,” he said. “But maybe like, go on a date with me, I mean, you are gay, right?”

My hand pulled away from the table and rested in my lap, wiping the sweat away from my palms. Now, I was officially being set up. “That’s silly. I’m not doing that.”

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