Page 21 of Lucky Sucker

“Please. Wren. Please.” He toyed with his hand across my side of the table where I was looking down at. “I need people to know I’m not homophobic, and this is like the fastest way to shut them up.”

“But you’re not gay either,” I said, mostly to my chest.

Luke scoffed, pulling his hand away from view, I followed it up to see him lean back in the chair and look at the ceiling. “I don’t know what I am,” he said, his head turning to face me like he knew I was looking. “But I know there’s nothing wrong with being gay, and someone is trying to get me removed from the team. I can’t let that happen. Please.”

The skin on my lower lip was going to burst under the pressure my teeth applied to it. “What would dating you look like then?” I asked. “Like you’d just need to hold my hand and stuff? I’m not good at that. And I don’t like—I don’t want people looking at me all the time either. I’m gonna be under a microscope.”

“That’s pretty much how I feel right now.” He let out a heavy sigh. “You can say no, Wren, I really wouldn’t hold it against you.”

“No,” I told him. “I’m ok with a lot of things, but I don’t know if I’m ok with being used like that.”

He stood up, the chair screeching, and even more eyes looking at us. “If it’s possible, could you let the coach know I’ve been nothing but nice to you since last week. I’ll need it to make a case for why I should stay on the team, and as captain.”

The pit, swollen and continuing to swell in my stomach was like a balloon slowly inflating, trying to both weigh me down and blow me away. I didn’t know what to do now, or what it meant. Luke had maybe come out to me last night, and now, he was telling me for certain, he didn’t know his sexuality.

I left the cafeteria shortly after him, but eyes were still on me. I kept one hand on Bloo in my messenger bag, while my other hand was scrolling through the comments under the thread exposing Luke’s past.

Part of me wanted to say it was an overreaction, but I didn’t want to sweep another person’s view of it. He said he wasn’t even a teen; he shouldn’t have even been on social media. The digital footprint was going to become an even bigger issue with future generations, even this one.

Leaving through the main entryway into the building where the cafeteria was housed, I saw through the arched glass doors to Luke as he was being confronted by Liam, Dixon, and Marcus, the three powerhouse defensemen from the team.

Part of me knew I was going to regret my decision.

I walked up to them and slipped my hand into Liam’s. It was just a little fakery, but I’d find some way he could help me out later. “Hi,” I said.

The three daunting men, or formerly daunting, I’d seen the way they cared about each other at their Labor Day party.

“I told you guys,” Luke said, gripping my hand tighter. “I’m not homophobic. I’m dating Wren. I didn’t want to say anything, but someone posted all that, and now I guess this is happening.”

They were all pleased by the news, large smiles and high fives all around. It was oddly surreal to experience it, like I was part of the team. Maybe Luke’s reciprocation to me could’ve been help with my upper body strength because my arm ached now.

“Bro, you know we don’t judge,” Marcus said. “But those posts are bad news. We need to get them removed.”

“I agree,” Luke said, going back to hold my hand. “And we should find out who did it. I hope it’s not someone on the team. I feel like it would be such a large betrayal of trust.”

“You know, we should have a coming out celebration for you,” Liam said. “I could get Julia to order in those steaks and we could just celebrate you for being you.”

I felt guilty again for being persuaded into this, for being used like this. Luke wasn’t gay, not that he’d admitted it, but he was accepting the praise for coming out. I wanted that balloon of guilt in my stomach to blow me away, and I couldn’t remove my sweaty hand from his now.

“We can’t tonight,” Dixon said. “It’s Jack’s surprise party.”

Luke must’ve felt the sweat. He let go of my hand and now pulled me into a shoulder-to-shoulder embrace, even if he was several inches taller than me. “I’ll bring Wren as well, I really want everyone to get to know him and know that those posts were clearly me when I wasn’t being true to myself.”

And there he was, saying all the right things, because that’s exactly what I would assume someone accused of being homophobic to say. I just needed him to come out to me, if he really was gay, or bi, but if he was straight, I’d probably have to relocate to the moon from being such a fool.

“Absolutely,” Liam said. “Now it makes sense why you never had any girls over. I hope you eat before you come over though, Wren. The personal chef is strictly healthy, so don’t expect anything good.”

Everything was going too fast. I smiled and nodded. “Sure.” I could’ve just agreed to sign my soul away with how little I understood of what was being asked.

“Thank you,” Liam whispered as his face came close to mine.

Through all the hyperventilation, I couldn’t make a sound in return, just look ahead as my vision threatened to blur around the edges.

“You best go see Coach and tell him,” Dixon said. “He might have to call off the search for the new captain.”

I could’ve just had my entire sexuality co-opted because of a straight man.

Luke continued to hold my shoulder close to his. “Good idea. And keep an ear out to see if you can figure out who spread the rumors about me. Ok.”

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