Page 26 of Lucky Sucker

Luke sighed. He’d clearly grown pissed by the entire situation being brought up and thrown in his face every other minute. “Really?” he grumbled, leading me to the seat where I sat and kept quiet. “I’ve never said it in a bad way, you know. I just think it was blown out of proportion.”

She nodded. “Well, it’s good to see people coming out, but I don’t want you ever think you’ve been forced out of the closet,” she said. “My wife was forced out of the closet, and it impacted her for years.”

“It’s fine,” he said, reaching for the hand I held my can of soda with.

“I take it you’re the lucky guy,” she said. “I’m Julia. These boys’ personal chef. Did you try some of my cake?”

“I’m Wren,” I said, switching my soda between hands so I could accept Luke’s safety blanket. “And he’s Lucky, technically.”

She slapped her knees. “You’re right. So, what do you study?”

“Journalism, communications, creative writing, you know, that area,” I told her. “I write for the Caldwell Chronicle, and my goal was to write for the Orcas this season, and I got it, which I guess is how we met.”

“After that, we just kinda clicked,” he said, again unsure if he was telling the truth about his view on what happened. I didn’t know if we immediately clicked, but there was something that happened immediately, and I couldn’t put my finger on it.

“Same thing for you?” she asked.

“I—” I caught Luke’s eyes staring at the side of my face, smiling. I wanted to put my mouth back to his again. “I kinda thought he was a bit of a jerk, but I figured now, he was just scared to show his feelings.” He squeezed my hand playfully. “And then we shared our first kiss. It was a total surprise.”

Julia couldn’t hold back her smile it seemed, she cooed and awed at us. “In all the years I’ve known Luke, he’s never brought a girl or guy home. I always heard the rumors by the other teammates about him being a playboy on campus. He’s definitely very attractive, so I just assumed they were telling the truth.”

The same rumors I’d heard about him as well. There was always another girl and another rumor about her fling with Luke. Maybe his nickname was because he got lucky and less because he was lucky on the ice.

“I’ve actually not been,” he said. “I’ve always been far too focused on the game. I don’t have time for relationships, well, I—I never had time before now.” The way he squeezed my hand in his, I was slowly convincing myself that he meant it.

“I’m gonna leave you two then,” she said. “I’ll take your word that you’ll make sure the clean up as well. And if they don’t, I’ll be telling your coach. He’s already told me he’ll punish the team.” She laughed. “Which I think I’d happily come and watch.”

Once Julia left, it was the two of us alone. Luke tugged at my leg, pulling it up over his until I was nearly laid across his lap. He even readjusting the pillow on my back.

“I think we’ve convinced everyone,” I said, sipping my soda.

“But this is fun, right?” he asked. “You are having fun, right?”

Gulping hard on a fizzy pocket going down my throat, I nodded.

“You can tell me if I’m coming on too strong with all this, and I don’t mean to be sprinkling in detail left and right,” he added. “I don’t know what I am. I’m not—you know, gay, I’m—”

We were getting somewhere, but I didn’t want to be interrogating him, even if all the questions were right there on the tip of my tongue, ready to get muddled in my mind.

“If I tell you something, you’ve got to promise it stays between us,” he said.

I prompted him with a pinky. “I promise.”Seeing his smile had my stomach fluttering. It felt cruel to not have a straight answer from him, even if the answer wasn’t so straight. “What is it?”

Wrapping his pinky around mine, he dropped his eyes from mine and looked at Bloo tucked under my arm and now trapping against the sofa too. “I’m still a virgin,” he said. “I mean, I’ve had a hand job before from a girl, and it was a really long one, like, I couldn’t cum for ages.” He pressed his tongue between his teeth and looked at me. “Oh shit, fuck, I shouldn’t be telling you any of this. You don’t need to know that.”

I kept our pinkies together tight. “I’m not a virgin. I’m just—anxious. I’ve always suffered with anxiety, but it got a lot worse after my dad died, and I never speak about him because—” Shivers traveled up my sides and in my cheeks. “He was the only person who told me I could do whatever I wanted, and he gave me confidence, but then it all stopped, and I feel like sometimes I’m letting him down.”

The floodgates opened, but somehow, I was relieved to have told him. A weight from my chest. My airwaves cleared.

Luke let my pinky go as he pulled me into a hug and kiss my forehead. I was almost curled up with my head cuddled into his neck. “You’re probably one of the bravest people I know, you’re you, authentically,” he said. “That’s more than can be said for me. Not that this is about me, but you are you, Wren, and your dad would be proud. He is, up there, around us. He’s proud of you.”

I nearly spilled my can of soda which caused me to laugh. “Thank you,” I said, between tears and laughter. “I nearly got this all over you. And the sofa. Jeez.” Picking my head up from his body, there were tears in his eyes. “I’m fine. It was like seven years ago.”

He kissed me. “I do like you, Wren,” he said. “But I’m not gay.”

I wiped my nose. “I’m a mess,” I said under a breath. “You could find a more attractive guy, or—girl, I don’t know.”

“I’m also not straight. I don’t know what I am. But I like you.”

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