Page 11 of Daddy Bear Picnic

Once Malcolm left, the other two were immediately curious about my thoughts. Telling me they could see a connection there. They were absolutely both made for this town with their approach to meddling in lives and gossip, but in fun ways, never to cause serious harm.

5. MALCOLM

I was always so happy to talk about my work, but there was something threatening about two elder gays that had a sort of critique to their eyes, even if they did look like walking construction cones in high-visibility colors. It reminded me of being in the city and having so-called friends who would bitch about me behind my back.

My first instinct was to regress and play, and I had no other plans for the day, so I did. I was in a nice room here, which made part of me wonder how I’d ever planned to just move into the house right off the bat like that. It was covered in a layer of dust, of course I couldn’t just live there.

Regressing into little space was a several step process for me. For others, it could happen on a whim. I was jealous of them. I needed my bubblegum scented hand cream, my crayons, old scraps of canvas, a onesie, any would do, a pacifier, again, I wasn’t too picky because I chewed right through most of them, and to be surrounded by teddies.

Bubblegum and crayons were the biggest little space trigger for me, just inhaling them had me in that space. I got dressed in a teddy bear onesie and climbed onto the bed with three teddies; Tumble, Roo Roo, and Winkle. I didn’t want to raise too much suspicion by bringing my entire box of teddies in. Each had a name and a personality. Their names etched in Sharpie on their label because my collection had grown a lot.

The final step to being in little space was music, specifically theme songs from cartoons. I plugged my earphones in and blasted my curated playlist. It lulled me immediately. I stuck my paci in my mouth and began chomping down, sucking it as I let my crayons do the thinking for me.

Creating art in little space was something I did a lot, but I never created on the big canvases until I was ready. These little scraps were great for just grinding crayons down to nubs and leaving my fingers with that plastic smell that filled me with joy.

I spent the rest of the day in the room regressing, only coming out the state briefly for some dinner brought right to my room. Elijah had brought it, his big strong look and puffed out chest in my face as he held the tray out with hamburger and fries.

“Are you ok?” he asked.

“I’m fine.” I tried to occupy most of the doorway, but he saw inside and I knew that meant he’d seen the antics I’d gotten up to. “I’ve had a busy day.”

“I can’t wait to see the masterpiece you’re creating.” He offered a big smile and handed me the tray.

“I am a masterpiece,” I whispered, catching his ear as he turned slightly and smiled.

“I promised to show you around town and I didn’t,” he said. “I’m sorry.”

I shook my head. “Oh gosh, I totally forgot about that.”

“Well, tomorrow after breakfast, if you’re still on for it, I’d love to show you around, and maybe show you the lake as well, you looked reflective when it was mentioned earlier.”

I nodded. “And then we can go to the house and work on it. Right?”

“We can start. Of course.”

My stomach was filled with butterflies. I was trying not to giggle right in his face. I didn’t know if I had a crush on him, or the little in me was crushing on him as he was built just like a Daddy. And if he wasn’t a Daddy, then why Daddy shaped?

Before I closed the door, he leaned in. “Give me five minutes and I’ll bring you an ice cream milkshake. Strawberry?”

My grip on the tray weakening from his offer. “Really? How did you know?”

“Lucky guess. And what else goes with a burger and fries?”

He was absolutely right. And that alone proved my point. He was Daddy.

I couldn’t get back into little space with the promise of milkshake on the way, and it quickly arrived with Elijah standing at the door and his big smile appeared from the wilds of his bushy beard. “Let’s keep this between us,” he said. “I told my brother we were out of strawberry ice cream. Ok.” He winked at me.

A wink that could be felt from a thousand miles away as my heart went da-dum and stopped completely—or it didn’t stop, but it would have if it didn’t mean stopping would result in me passing away. But that was precisely how he made me feel, an elation so closed to maybe death that I didn’t know how to read the signs of what he was putting down.

My mind was working hard to process it all. I had these thoughts. What if I’d ran up to him jumped into his arms, wrapped my legs around his waist and just mashed my mouth to his, or wherever his mouth was hiding in that beard. I wanted that, but I was not about to hit on the first man I met—even if it felt right.

After eating and finishing my milkshake, I continued to play, this time with my teddies. I wondered just how much Elijah had seen of the room as I played, staging it out like I was giving him clues to the type of person I was. The paci, the colors, the teddies, even the onesie. The clues were all there, he didn’t need Jessica Fletcher to come out and solve it.

As the night continued, I found myself unable to sleep. I was desperate to know what he’d seen, and why he’d decided on the milkshake. It was a gift, I assumed, and I accepted it. Ilapped it up like it was right from his hands. I would’ve drank it all and then licked his fingers clean right there in front of him.

A gentle knock came at the door.

I stayed quiet, wondering if this was an old house playing tricks on me.

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