Page 127 of Sweat

Right behind you, baby.

Stepping out into the late November chill, I realize how cold it actually is. My skin tightens beneath my white tee, and I tellTommy I’m going to grab my sweater from the garage. While I’m at it, I grab one of my soccer balls from the bin under my bed.

Mav’s brown eyes glow when he sees me bouncing it between my hands, and Lena breaks away from her cousins to throw herself at me, asking to play.

“We’re all gonna play,” I tell her, bowling the ball across the grass toward Mav. “You wanna be on my team? You and me against Tommy and his nephew.”

Being a soccer coach and all around sports nerd, Matt already has two pop-up goals set up on either end of the long yard. Sidelines are the flower bed against the perimeter fence and the cement path along the garage.

Takes about two minutes for our little match to be overrun with kiddos, and I’m not good enough of a babysitter to play referee to a full-blown youth league match. I let the kids’ parents take over, and Tommy and I slip off to the side. I lean my back against the stucco wall of the garage, and Tommy puts his shoulder to wall beside me.

“This is cute,” he says, pinching my crimson knit pullover. Xia bought it for me while out shopping for the kids’ Thanksgiving outfits, and I immediately thought it looked dweebish. I’m not used to looking nice. My idea of nice is black on black, and my chain so I don’t look poor. Tommy grazes his fingers across my neck, fishing my chain from underneath my sweater and laying it down overtop. “So cute,” he murmurs, like he’s saying it to himself.

I turn my gaze from the chaotic match and look into Tommy’s eyes. “Why didn’t your mom come?”

Those stunning blues flit downward, studying my chain as his fingers continue to play with it. “Didn’t wanna lie. I know we agreed to tell her you’re my best friend, and you are mybest friend, but that’s not all you are. And she’s got to know eventually, before she starts setting me up with her friends’ daughters.”

“You told her about us, baby?”

“Told her we’re in love. That you’re my person. That I’ve been gay ever since those kids beat me up in school.” He chuckles, a small bit of morbid humor behind it. “Told her it’s ironic she signed me up for team sports so I wouldn’t grow up to be a sissy, and now I’m dating my team captain.”

Reaching up, I cup Tommy’s jaw and press my thumb under his chin until his eyes meet mine. “You’re not a sissy. Did she call you that?”

“Nah. It was just…the way she looked at me, I guess. Like I’m not the man she wanted me to be. Not mad, but disappointed. She doesn’t wanna meet you. I think she’d rather just pretend I never told her. I think she’ll come around, though. In time.”

I’m compelled to apologize, but I’m also trying this new thing where I stop acting like I’m a terrible person. I didn’t turn Tommy gay, and I didn’t create all the turmoil in his life, even though I certainly play a role in it. My job as his boyfriend is to protect him when I can, to comfort him when I can’t, and to love and support him.

“She will come around,” I tell him instead. “You’re a great man. She’ll remember that, eventually.”

Tugging me into his arms, we finish thatI missed youhug, and he tells me he loves me.

“I love you too,” I hum with my cheek against his. “My beautiful boy.”

Dinner is a marriage as oddly complementary as Matt and Xia’s. Asada and grilled chicken, beans and rice, with warm tortillas, plus the traditional fixings of mashed potatoes, stuffing and mac and cheese. Maybe it’s blasphemy, but there’slittle better than Xia’s brother’s asada coupled with Matt’s mom’s mac and cheese.

Shamelessly, all I really want to do is take Tommy to my room and ravage him. Nuzzle my nose all over his clean, smooth skin and eat his cock for dessert. But with Erica and Mav here, there isn’t a great time to sneak away, and I think it’s important to Tommy that his sister likes me. It’s important to me too. I show her all of my practiced charm, and show Mav all of my practiced child-tolerance, and by the time the Mathison clan is heading for the door, I think I’ve won them over.

I walk them to Tommy’s truck and say goodbye, but before Tommy can climb up into the driver’s seat, I ask him if he wants to hang later. I want to take him back to Mustache Jack. They’re open tonight for a Thanksgiving event, but I don’t really care what the event is about. I just want to take Tommy some place where he’ll feel accepted, where we can drink a little and kiss a lot.

“Hell yeah,” he whispers, eyes flickering down to my mouth. He hooks a finger on my chain and draws me forward, kissing me in the street with his family in the car behind him. Just a soft, lippy kiss after sundown, but it’s a public kiss, nonetheless. AnI don’t give a fuckkiss that has my heart fluttering like crazy.

“Sleepover after?” he murmurs.

“You think I’d pick you up just to drop you back off?” I smirk. “I’m gonna help clean up here, then I’ll text you.”

It takes an extra two hours for Matt’s more obnoxious family members to leave while I help Xia and her mom clean up. At one point, Matt’s drunk cousin, Frank, slapped my shoulder and called me “one of the ladies.” No one else heard, and I chose to clench my jaw and let it be, but it makes me think of what Tommy said.

Am I a sissy?

What the fuck does that even mean?

I’m not a sissy. Frank just doesn’t like me. Unlike Xia’s side, a lot of Matt’s family members dislike me and always have. They think I’m a degenerate parasite, and now I’m a fag on top of it. It’s one of the many reasons why, even if I call Matt my dad, he never will be. If he were my dad, his family wouldn’t treat me like an interloper.

It’s almost nine when I pick Tommy up, and we head straight for the bar. On the way, Tommy says his mom’s avoiding him now—leaving the room when he enters, not answering when he speaks right to her. While he vents, I’m trying not to hate her. I just keep my hand on Tommy’s thigh and tell him to be patient.

“You were patient with me when you didn’t have to be,” I say. “That’s what I’m thankful for today. You.”

He snickers despite our sober mood, grinning at my profile. “Rowan, you literally chased me down and gave me back something I love, asking for nothing in exchange. And that’s after I punched you in the face. I was gonna be as patient with you as you needed. Even if you never kissed me back that day, I’d still be waiting for you. I’d wait forever for you.”

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