Page 132 of Sweat

I swallow all my anxieties down and focus on the moment—on Rowan’s happiness, because he deserves this. No matter what comes of it, no matter what it means for us, Rowan deserves this, and I’m so unbelievably proud of him. My boyfriend is a pro soccer player!

As if he can read my mind, the first thing Rowan says to me when we have a second to ourselves is, “How’s it feel that your boyfriend is a pro athlete?”

Staring into the warm depths of his eyes, I answer, “I think you know how it makes me feel.”

Scared and horny.

The way Rowan’s eyes flicker down to my crotch tells me he only suspects the latter, which is good. I don’t want him to know I’m scared. Don’t want to make this moment about me and my neediness.

He tosses a couple glances over his shoulders, probably making sure his family isn’t watching, then he draws me close and leans his mouth beside my ear. “You know what this means, right?”

Circling my arms around his neck, I lean into him and relish his warmth, like it’s another thing I’m about to lose come February. “Means you’re a superstar.”

“Means I’ll be able to take care of you. For real.”

My eyes blink in tandem with the flutter in my chest. I lean back enough to study Rowan’s eyes, because I clearly can’t read his mind as well as he can read mine. “What do you mean?”

Smile turning to a smirk, he asks, “What do you think it means?” That smirk falls as quickly as it appeared. “Unless…you wanna stay here.”

“Stay here?”

“I know you’d have to change schools and uproot yourself, and you’ll probably miss your family and your friends, but you’ll be about the same distance from Oakland as you would be staying here. When Mav is living up there, you can still visit him whenever you want, or he could come stay with us even. I worked really hard to make sure I wouldn’t take you too far away from him, but I’ll understand if you need to stay put. At least we won’t be separated by much.”

While my stomach tumbles, my mind spins. “You chose San Jose for me?”

His smile widens, and his eyes soften with the amount of awe in them. “Of course I did. Chose it for me too. For us. I know you really love a mid-century modern, but how about a modest townhome in a boring suburb?”

All the joy in me busts loose, and I end up laughing with my forehead dropped to Rowan’s shoulder. When I catch my breath, I lift my head and hug him tight. “Sounds amazing.”

He chortles like I’m losing it, but in his voice, it’s all hope. “You’ll come with me then?”

“Fuck yeah.” I smooch his cheek so many times he has to wipe my saliva off with the sleeve of his nice sweater. Then I smooch his mouth with the same vigor.

“Boys!” Matt’s voice separates us. Rowan’s face is as red as mine feels as I shove my hands in my pockets and hang my head bashfully. “Time to go out and celebrate. Olive Garden?”

“Matthew,” Xia starts. “We need to go someplace nicer than Olive Garden. Where do you want to go, Rowan? Anywhere.”

“Honestly…” Rowan’s shoulders hop, and he sends a timid smile across the room, “Olive Garden sounds pretty dope right now.”

The kids cheer, and I’m just happy to be invited. It’s too cramped for all of us in the minivan, so I follow them in my truck with Rowan in the passenger seat, holding my hand over the center console.

We can’t stop talking about San Jose, a city neither of us has spent much time in. Rowan’s been researching it like mad, though, and he’s telling me about everything he’s read and all the things we’ll be able to do there. He’s an encyclopedia of San Jose running trails, and I can’t help but laugh that even in Rowan’s fantasies, we’re working out.

“And you can do whatever you want,” he says, glimmering at me like I’m artwork. “I mean it, baby. I’m gonna take care of you, so whatever you wanna do, I’ll support you.”

I snicker at the windshield, trying to stay close to Matt’s bumper without being a total tailgater. “Like a sugar daddy?”

“Sure. Doesn’t that sound hot?”

I send him a glance, and of course, his brows are wagging.

“Clearly, we know who the breadwinner is about to be in this relationship, but I’m not just gonna be your arm candy.I do wanna finish my degree. Maybe since we just won the freaking College Cup, San Jose State will be open to giving me an athletic scholarship, and I can finish up there. Been thinking about changing my major anyway. Only reason I picked Business Administration is ‘cause Ma says it’s practical, but I think I wanna be a physical therapist.”

“So you can rub me down every night?”

I snort, letting go of Rowan’s hand so I can snatch his thigh and squeeze it. “You’re thinking of a massage therapist.”

“Oh,” he laughs. “Well, how about you be a physical therapist, and I’ll be your massage therapist?”

---