Page 146 of Sweat

“Ready?” I ask Tommy at the door, just in case he needs more time. I’ll give him all the time he needs, even if it means camping out on Paul’s living room floor tonight.

The smile Tommy gives me is wistful, a little sad yet certain. “Yeah. Let’s go.”

On our way down to the parking garage, I ask Tommy for his keys so I can drive us. He doesn’t question it, probably because he drove us all the way here and wouldn’t mind a break. Thankfully, he doesn’t seem to suspect I’ve got ulterior motives.

I guess, sometimes, I still keep secrets from Tommy. But just the one, and today’s the day to spill the beans.

He gets curious early on, when he realizes I’m driving into San Francisco instead of backtracking inland toward Sacramento. There’s a lookout point Paul told me about a while back, behind Lake Merced and up an easy cliff trail.

“What are we doing here?” Tommy asks me as I park the truck at the base of the cliffs.

“Thought we could go for a walk. Enjoy some sights before we head back to Sac.”

Chuckling, he says, “The sooner we get back to Sac, the sooner we can get to San Jose.”

“C’mon.” I click my belt before reaching over and clicking his. “We’ll have years to enjoy San Jose. Let’s enjoy a little San Francisco now.”

Blue eyes full of suspicion, Tommy climbs out of the truck and follows my lead up the winding, paved trail. We’re back to holding hands, and everyone we pass either politely ignores us or pays us a friendly hello. I’m passed giving a shit if Tommy and I receive wayward glances, but it’s calming to be in a location where I know people won’t hassle us for existing. San Jose is like that. Not as outwardly flamboyant a city as SF, but I don’t worry about our safety there, either. I think our life is going to be really good there.

At the top of the cliffs, a concrete tunnel leads to the promised views. We’re a skyscraper’s height above the ocean, and it goes on for more miles than I can possibly guess until it meets the horizon in a stunning melding of blue. Reminds me of my lover’s eyes, which I get lost in just as easily.

The grin across Tommy’s face tells me he’s happy I brought him here. I tug him along, meandering down footpaths along the cliff until we’re far enough from other visitors that I’m not overwhelmed by nerves.

“This place is beautiful, Row,” Tommy says, eyes glued to the view.

“Just like you,” I tell him, projecting all the mush in my heart out to him.

He blushes and eyes me oddly, since I’m rarely so cutesy out in public. “Should we keep walking?”

“Hang back a sec.” I squeeze his hand and bring him back to face me. “I wanna talk to you about something.”

“Okay.” His suspicion turns to worry lines, which I hope means he isn’t expecting what I’m about to reveal. “What do you wanna talk about?”

I release his hand and swipe the nervous sweat off on my hip before fishing into the pocket of my bomber jacket and taking out the small box I’ve had in there since we left Sacramento early this morning. Fiddling with it in both hands, I begin, “So—”

“Holy shit,” Tommy breathes, completely vexed.

Smiling at his dopey, star struck expression, I start over. “So I know we’ve joked about it—”

“I wasn’t joking,” he quickly states.

I exhale a small laugh as the butterflies in my gut flap around tirelessly. “I know you’ve mentioned it, and I always tell you that you’re mine, no matter what, and that’s the truth. But now that we’re finally, officially, about to move in together for real, I don’t want you to just be my boyfriend anymore. I want to take you to San Jose with me tomorrow as my fiancé.”

Fully committed, I drop to one knee and lift the black leather box between us. Flipping the lid open, I show Tommy the ring I picked out six months ago when my check from the Earthquakes cleared. A white gold band with small, black diamond inlays.

“Tommy Mathison,” I utter, staring up into the limitless pools inside his eyes, “will you marry me?”

“Row,” he breathes, face twisted in something that looks like anguish but somehow evokes the opposite, and it sends my heart into a frenzy. “Sweetheart… Are you kidding? Of course I’ll marry you. You actually got me a ring?”

Beaming so bright my head feels hot, I pick the ring out of the velvet lining and pocket the box. “Hell yeah, I got your ass a ring. I’m not some deadbeat.”

Releasing a breathy, emotion-filled laugh, Tommy holds out his left hand, and I slip the personalized engagement ring onto his proper finger. On the inside, I had the band engraved.

‘Forever Yours.’

I stand, and Tommy barrels into me, nearly knocking me on my ass when he crashes our mouths together.

“God damn, I love you,” he mutters between impassioned kisses.

---