Page 39 of Sweat

He finishes his current rep with a groan, then climbs off the machine. “I have to shower.”

“Rowan.” I stand so he knows I’m not about to let him go that easy. “I know you don’t give a shit anymore, but since this was your little brain child, I thought I should tell you in person that I’m gonna quit the team.”

The edges of Rowan’s face clench, and he stares into my eyes with an intensity like I slighted him. “Don’t quit,” he says.

I shrug. “It’s too much. I got other responsibilities. My family counts on me for—”

“Your responsibility is to yourself.”

“That’s not how it works.”

“Yes, it is.” He halves the distance between us, enough I can feel the heat radiating off his damp body. The musk of a day-long workout surrounds him like an aura. “The only person you should be worrying about is you.”

I exhale a humorless chuckle. “Maybe there are more important people in my life than myself.”

“There shouldn’t be,” he says firmly. “Those other people don’t have to live inside this body every second of every day.” He touches two fingers to my chest, and it stuns me like a bolt of electricity. He touches those fingers to the side of my head next. “They don’t have to wake up every day inside this mind. What’s the first thing you wanna think about in the morning? Regret? You wanna think about all the shit you gave up for other people just to make their lives a tiny bit more convenient? ‘Cause you’re not gonna be the first thing they think about. They’re gonna be thinking about their own miserable lives and everything they wish they coulda done different.”

Maybe it’s how hard Rowan’s tone is, how close he’s standing to me, or how deeply his words settle into my soul, but my eyes water on their own, and my heart beats nearly as loud as Rowan’s voice.

“This is your only chance, Tommy. Your only life. You only get one. Don’t let anyone else let you feel like it’s ever okay to give up on yourself.”

I reach out, snatch the back of Rowan’s neck, and I press my mouth to his. All salt and stick and his stubble tickling my chin. He’s stiff against me, not breathing. I let him go, and he blinks at me in haunting silence. I lick my lips and taste his sweat.

Then he leaves. Doesn’t even take his shirt from where it’s draped over the dumbbells. He leaves from my view, and it hurts like a bomb shot straight to the chest. As I struggle not to cry, I realize he doesn’t feel gone yet. I turn around, and he’s still here, standing before the gate, back to me like he isn’t sure if he should keep on walking or not.

“Don’t lose me,” I say, and he turns his head over his shoulder. “That’s what you told me. I’m just trying not to lose you. Whatever way you want me, I want that too. It can be whatever we want it to be. It can mean whatever we want it to mean, but if you want me at all, in any way, I want you too.”

He turns fully, but he doesn’t speak for what feels like a long time. He breathes hard from his nose, walks closer, and grouses, “Don’t quit. I don’t fuck with quitters.”

“Okay.” I nod, prepared to agree to just about anything if it means Rowan gives me a chance. Even if I only ever get the one.

The gap between us closes, and just when I think Rowan is going to kiss me, he grabs my shoulders and shoves me back until my ass hits the gym wall between two shabby lookingboxwoods. His eyes are like smoldering ash, and his hot palms singe my jaw as he covers my mouth with his, all power and rigidity. I grab his wrists and pry his hands away, giving me room to move with him. Holding his wrists, I part his lips with my own and breathe into his mouth until his lips feel less like a plea and more like an offering.

I give him my tongue, awakening his own, and they move together in a tantalizing dance between slow smooches to each other’s lips. His are thinner than what I’m used to, and the quiet noises his throat makes are so deep that even with my eyes closed, I can’t escape the fact I’m making out with a man. I don’t want to escape it. I want to bask in it. I want to crawl into Rowan’s masculine mouth and bathe in his deliciously low moans.

His hips touch mine, and our crotches press together so firmly I gasp into his mouth.

My body melts between his and the wall I’m against. My hands relax enough that Rowan’s wrists fall from my grasp, and the next thing I know, his hand wedges between our bulges, kneading my cock in slow yet firm squeezes.

Panting into my mouth, he says, “You ever kissed a boy before?”

“No,” I murmur, looking into his eyes half-lidded. “You?”

Instead of answering, he locks our lips again and sweeps his tongue across mine until they’re dancing again.

I feel him unbutton my pants, and I feel him drag the zipper down along my bulge. He steps back, breaking our kiss to push my pants and boxers down my hips until the stucco wall scratches at my naked ass.

Without a word, Rowan sinks to his knees right here, and I gasp when his mouth closes around my cock. One hand holds me at the base while the other cups my balls in an electrifyinggrip. He sucks my cock better than he kisses, dragging his tongue around my shaft and sucking on the head. He strokes me and licks me at the same time, swirling his thumb over my frenulum while his tongue laps at the slit where pre-cum is already leaking.

“Holy shit, Row,” I moan, head in a flurry as I watch him. I lay my hands on his head, just petting his scalp with almost no pressure at all. Don’t want to scare him or mess with his control. I felt it when he kissed me, before I got him to relax. He’s pent up with something that makes him need to act tough as nails. Maybe it’s the same thing I’m pent up with.

He pumps my cock and tilts his chin, looking up at me like he’s making sure I’m still here. Where else would I ever want to be? Then he slurps me up again. Deep, then deeper. He plants his hands on my hips and bobs his mouth on me.

“I—I’m gonna come,” I warn him with my last breath of clarity before I crumble to bits right here in the outdoor weight gym.

Over the sound of my own grunts and whimpers, I hear Rowan’s throat at work, swallowing around me in a feeling that is wholly indescribable. It’s so intense, I have to grab Rowan’s shoulders and push him off before he gives me a literal heart attack.

“Fuuuck,” I moan, cum still drooling from my slit.

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