Page 87 of Total Shutdown

“On us both. Edge my pussy until I come. With my legs braced apart, I’ll be powerless to stop you, and so will you when I return the favor.”

He closes his eyes and swallows, probably walking through the scene in his head. “How would you want to be teased?”

I take the bar from him and check its maximum extension. “Well, that would be telling. I like a power struggle, and this is the perfect piece of equipment.”

“What else do you want?” he asks, voice gravelly.

Reaching onto my tiptoes, I speak softly. “Handcuffs and ties. It’s not only my legs I want restrained.”

* * *

“Huh.”

“What is it?” I ask.

I begin eating my sandwich as we sit in Sawyer’s truck, attempting to satisfy my horny thoughts with calories. We finished up shopping, and rather than fuck in aisle three, like we both wanted, we compromised and headed for Chick-fil-A.

Sawyer reaches over to my food and steals a fry, his eyes fluttering shut as he chews around it.

“When was the last time you had fast food?”

He shrugs a shoulder. “No idea. A long fucking time ago.” He grins. “You make me do bad things, Mackenzie.”

Swallowing, he shows me his phone—a text from Ezra, asking if he can head home with a friend tonight for dinner and their mom will drop him home later.

My boyfriend is all smiles as he takes his phone back and types out a response. “I also can’t remember the last time my son asked to hang out with anyone from school. He’s changing, coming out of his shell.” He hits Send on the message and looks at me. “So much of that is because of you—you know that, right?”

My heart skips. “What do you mean?”

Sawyer takes another fry, dipping this one in Chick-fil-A sauce. “He was becoming more and more withdrawn, and it was starting to worry me. He’d lost interest in everything other than video games, and he spent huge chunks of his time hidden away in his bedroom.” His brows knit together. “He was always so smiley and outgoing, reminding me a lot of his mom. I don’t know what changed, but it felt like, overnight, he just stopped finding enjoyment in things he had before, like shooting hoops with his friends on a Sunday.” He pauses, and I don’t just see the emotion on his face; I feel it on his behalf. “I missed my sunshine boy.”

“And then bikes happened?”

He throws me a sweet smile, tucking a lock of hair behind my ear. “And thenyouhappened, Collins. To the both of us. You were right that day in the Botanic Garden.”

I think back to our date; it wasn’t all that long ago, but somehow, it feels like a lifetime. “I said a lot of things that night, most of it being bullshit.”

“Like only wanting no-strings sex?” he teases.

I raise a warning brow. “What was I right about?”

Buying himself some time to respond, he picks up his soda and takes a long pull before setting it back down in the cupholder. “You alluded to my happiness and perhaps lack thereof, given it was only Ezra and me.”

Jesus, that was an asshole thing to say.

“I didn’t mean it like that. I think my defenses went up when you suggested I might not be happy, being alone.”

He shakes his head with a look of sincerity. “No, you were right. I hadn’t been happy in my life for a long time. I think I was just surviving rather than thriving.”

“And now?”

He reaches out, brushing the rough pad of his thumb across my cheek. “Well, to quote you, ‘like father, like son.’ So much has changed for me too. I feel alive when I’m around you, Baby Girl. I’m not just existing for my son anymore; I’m living for me because I see a future beyond the time when Ezra moves out for college or gets a place of his own.” He swallows thickly, rolling his lips together. “If I told you that future was you, would that be too much for you to hear? The last thing I want you to do is run just when I’ve finally won you over.”

“It’s okay. I’m not freaked out,” I whisper. And it’s the truth; I’m not. “I didn’t say yes to giving us a shot without having thought through all that it could potentially mean. I know this isn’t some kind of fling, Sawyer, and I really don’t see it as that. You’re the first person who’s made me want to stick around to see what happens.”

He drags a large pull of air into his lungs. “Okay.” He half chuckles, half sighs. “That’s really fucking good to know.”

I finish the last bite of my sandwich, and Sawyer takes my trash, driving up to a can and throwing it inside.

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