My heart rate kicks up when Sawyer says her full name. I know there isn’t a chance of either Coach or Jack hearing him, but that’s not what’s having this effect on me.
It’s her. Always Darcy. The one girl who makes me feel emotions beyond sharing a lust-filled night in my bed.
My physiological reaction answers Sawyer’s question. I don’t even need to think about it. “My borderline presence is no coincidence.” Using the towel, I swipe at the perspiration beading above my brow. “She’s on my mind constantly.”
He scrubs a hand over his jaw, unsurprised. “I know that feeling all too well, buddy. With Collins, I?—”
I hold up a hand between us, cutting him off. “No offense, but this isn’t anything like what you have with Collins.”
That does surprise my friend, maybe even annoy him. “I’m going to need you to elaborate,” he replies.
Gripping the back of my neck, I search for adequate words. “It’s all-consuming, paralyzing. An overwhelming urge to protect, mixed with a fear of rejection. Like if I was to make a move, she’d laugh in my face and crush me right there and then. It’s a voice telling me to back the fuck off, persistently drowned out by the deafening need to touch her and confirm that her body would mold to mine in the way I’ve always known it would.”
“Archer, I, um …” Sawyer trails off, and I’m relieved he does, as I continue my ramble.
“I’m pretty sure the space where I exist borders heaven and hell—I get to see her on the regular, but mainly when we’re out and she’s being hit on by pricks like the one from the bar. And I can’t have that, man. I can’t stand it for much longer.”
My confession hangs in the air between us, and Sawyer never takes his eyes off mine as he draws a pull from his water bottle.
After a beat of silence, he finally speaks. “I mean, I know Jack is aware you find his sister hot, but are you being real with me right now?”
Given the reputation I’ve built for myself over the years, I probably shouldn’t be frustrated at his doubt.
I blow out an exasperated breath. “Yes, I’m being for real. You think I want to feel this way?”
He shrugs. “Maybe. You want her, right?”
“Yes,” I clip, still frustrated. Briefly, I motion toward the treadmills, specifically at Jack. “But as if being the best friend of her older brother and having her stepdad as my coach weren’t complex enough, the real kicker is, none of what I’ve just confessed to you is reciprocated. She might find me good-looking, but that’s about as far as it goes. I could see that on Sunday when she showed up at my apartment to return the credit card I’d drunkenly thrust at her right after I punched the prick.”
Sawyer’s eyes grow wide. “Wait. You only told me about the punching part.” He thumbs over his shoulder to nothing. “You’re telling me you had her in your apartment the following morning?”
I roll my shoulders back, trying to ease some of the tension in them. “Nothing happened, if that’s what you’re getting at. Allegedly, I said she could buy whatever she wanted, which tracks since I was contemplating an entire dress collection five minutes ago.”
It’s almost like Sawyer’s only catching up with the program now, brows raised all the way to his hairline. “Are you telling me you want to date her?”
I pin him with a look that cannot be misconstrued. “I don’t want any other man to so much as breathe in her direction. They aren’t worthy and won’t treat her right.” I point at my chest just as Jack steps off the treadmill and starts in our direction. “She does something to me that I can’t control.”
Sawyer opens his mouth to reply when Jack sidles up next to him, his golden retriever smile instantly cutting through the tension.
“We’ve all agreed on Lloyd’s for tonight. The regular hangout seems like the obvious choice to break in the rookies with our preseason tradition.” He bumps me lightly on the shoulder with his fist. “What do you say, party boy? There’s bound to be a girl you can hook up with from there.”
I guess it’s pointless, holding anything at my place since Darcy won’t be coming.
Jack’s reference to girls rolls around in my gut like spoiled food I ate the night before. This is really what he thinks of me, isn’t it? There isn’t a chance in hell he’ll ever take me seriously.
I glance quickly at Sawyer, and his empathetic expression confirms my fears.
“I’m not sure Archer’s looking to hook up tonight.” Sawyer speaks directly to Jack.
He snaps his fingers in response, the platinum wedding band he refuses to remove since marrying Kendra sparkling, even mocking me. “Oh, that’s right. You were buying dresses for a girl.” He edges closer, his humor emphatic. “Please tell me it isn’t Kassie again because that was a mess the first time around.”
Jack looks across at Sawyer, expecting him to laugh along with his gibe. Instead, our captain shifts awkwardly, adjusting his weight from one foot to the next.
“All right, I think we can call it. I’ve been impressed with everyone’s work ethic and attitude today, and I want it to be the benchmark over the next few weeks and into the regular season.” Coach’s announcement acts like a beacon, slicing through the awkward atmosphere.
I slap my thigh and reset myself, eager to change the subject. “I’m going to head for the showers, and I’ll see everyone later tonight.”
Jack loiters for a second, eyes locked on Sawyer’s back as our captain makes a break for it toward the locker room.