Page 34 of Demon Boss' Baby Load

Hubrie watched Duke from the corner of his eye. “I’ll tell him your embarrassing childhood stories while you’re busy with work.”

Duke bared his teeth. “No, you won’t.”

The butler grinned. “Hold my beer.”

11

TERRIBLE CHILDHOOD TALES

Nat expectedan ordinary trip to Duke’s home, except Duke kept scowling at Hubrie throughout the car ride.

Hubrie wasn’t even afraid; his grins just kept growing smugger and smugger.

“Is there something wrong?” Nat finally blurted, his hands twisted up in the seat belt.

“Hell Master is just worried about what we’ll get up to while he’s gone,” Hubrie sang.

“Like what?”

“Did you know,” Hubrie began.

“Hubrie,” Duke snarled, reaching for his butler.

“No touchy! I’m driving!” Hubrie wagged a finger. “Once upon a time, Hell Master was a little boy demon who thought you could turn chicken eggs into Hellbirds by bringing them to Hell and dunking them in the Hell River.”

Nat straightened. “Did it work?”

“No,” Duke said grouchily. “Shut up—”

“Of course it didn’t work,” Hubrie said cheerfully. “What he didn’t realize was that those eggs were unfertilized. So he brought a basket of eggs down to Hell, trekked several miles uphill, both ways, on one foot. He had to fight three monsters and four trolls for his breakfast—”

“Hubrie.” Duke was cringing now. “Please don’t. The only thing worse than the actual story is youembellishing it.”

“Well, you just seem so embarrassed,” Hubrie said breezily. “Anyway, Lil Hell Master dunked the chicken eggs into the Hell River, and when none of them hatched into birds, he dunked them a few more times. Then he cracked one open to help the bird hatch, and screamed when he found a hard-boiled egg.”

“That was fucking traumatizing,” Duke growled.

“It’s also the reason you don’t eat eggs now,” Hubrie said solemnly. “In case you ever wonder, Nat.”

“My damnbrotherstold me to use the eggs from the market! Onyx didn’t stop them, the fucker. They said it would work.” Duke bared his teeth. “I was eight years old!”

“Awww,” Nat said softly. “I’m sure you felt really bad. If that had happened to Wanda, I would’ve been mad, too.”

Duke met Nat’s eyes through the rearview mirror; Nat blushed and looked away.

“Anyway, here’s a story that’s actually funny,” Hubrie said.

“Dear gods,” Duke muttered.

“When Hell Master was thirteen, he decided that he wanted a pet dog. So he hunted all over Hell and brought home a three-headed puppy... only to have the dog’s Mama track him down and roar at his entire family from outside the family home—”

“It came with me willingly!” Duke protested. “It even wagged its tail!”

Hubrie snorted. “Hell Master’s parents were so embarrassed, they sent him over to Dog Mama’s place to do chores. Her puppies ended up sitting on his back and riding him like a pony. He was crawling around for hours doing chores that way. Kind of like those robot vacuums with the cats sitting on them while they move, you know?”

“Awww,” Nat said, his heart fluttering.

Duke groaned. “I hate that story too.”

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