Page 199 of Doubts & Fears

But none of it was her fault. Taking a deep breath, I walked to my room, calling upon my strengths. She needed me to be patient, steadfast, someone she could rely on. A calmness and a renewed sense of responsibility settled in my chest. By the time I reached my door, I was ready to do what needed to be done.

But when I entered the room, my heart sank, the steady resolve faltering in the wake of the sounds coming from her. She lay as I left her, curled up in a tight ball. Stark, heartbreaking sobs shook her naked frame, each one piercing me in places I didn’t know could hurt. I stood for a moment, my chest tightening with a sense of utter helplessness. My baby girl looked so vulnerable, so lost in grief, that it tore at my very soul.

Hearing my footsteps, she rolled over, her movements fluid yet weary. She sat up, pushing a tangle of hair away from her face. The sight of those puffy red eyes and the tracks of tears cut deep. She tried to wipe them away, but the effort only seemed to make her look more frail. Before I could speak, she did. Her words rushing out as her shoulders shook.

“I’m so sorry. Please don’t be mad. I can’t take it. It kills me inside, Daddy.”

I stalked over, more determined than ever. I sat, gathering her in my arms, drawing her close to my chest. With gentle movements, I rocked her. Hoping that she could feel my reassurance and know she was safe in my arms. As I held her, I whispered soft words of comfort, allowing the warmth of my voice to fill the space between us.

“God, I wish you’d talk to us. It would make things so much easier if you did.”

She pushed her body firmly against mine in desperation. It was as if she was trying to get closer to me somehow—to climb inside me.

“I need the intimacy that only you can give,” she whispered against my neck. “I don’t want to think about the scars on my back tonight or the nightmares that might come. I need you to make love to me, help me forget.” She sobbed, breaking me in two.

It took me a minute to get my emotions under control. “Kinsley, believe me when I say I want nothing more than to be seated deep inside your warm, soft body. I’ve literally dreamed about it since you walked through the club doors in that dress.”

I held her for several long minutes, rubbing her back as she clung to me tightly. She pulled back, traced my face, and pleaded, “Please, Daddy. I need you to make it go away.”

“Are you sure?” I pulled back from her so I could look into her eyes.

They were bluer tonight, not as gray, and the brown freckle in the right one seemed to pick up the soft light, making it appear golden. I was certain that what I wanted to do with her tonight wasn’t anything that would trigger her. Planning to take my time, I’d be as gentle as she needed me to be.

“I’m sure. Please, Nikolai. Don’t reject me, not when I need you the most. I won’t be able to handle it if you do.”

Reaching for her, I wanted to erase the look of pain in her eyes. God forgive me, but I needed her fiercely. I could only trust I wouldn’t fuck her psyche up any more than it already was. The scars on her back and the meaning behind them—I didn’t want to think about them any more than she did, truth be told. Marcel could tackle that.

I pulled back, brushing my knuckle against a crocodile tear that fell. Fuck, even in grief, she was stunning to behold.

“Can I tell you something?”

“Yes,” she answered.

“I don’t normally make love, baby girl. I like to fuck. It’s what I’m good at. The emotional side of this, not so much. I don’t know that I have ever made love to a woman. But you make me feel things I haven’t before.”

I moved my hands down her body, and she parted her legs. Running one hand over her cunt, I found her wet, and I smiled while I thumbed her clit. “I love the way your body responds and want to take my time with you. To do this right. You’re so tight and tiny. Tell me, did Alek hurt you last night?”

“Yes,” she said shyly, then moaned loudly as I sank two fingers inside her.

“I’ll do my best to go slow, but I think I want you a little wetter before I sink into this tight, hot cunt.” I sought her G-spot, finding it like a jewel.

“That’s my girl. You like that, don’t you?”

She writhed under me, her fingers digging into my forearms, keeping me in place.

I fingered her until she was right there. “Come for me, malyshka.”

The words fell from my lips to her ear, and she shuddered and called my name as she shattered right before my eyes. I’d seen her come before, but something about this moment was different.

I didn’t know if it was because I was hyperaware of her emotional state or because of the feeling of her cunt clamping down around my fingers, squeezing them with such strength. I could only imagine how my cock was going to feel when she was pulsing around me.

“I’ll never get tired of watching you come. The way your body arches into my fingers and you scream for me. You’resobeautiful.”

She reached up and caressed my face. The look of vulnerability in her eyes tugged at my heart even more. I repositioned our bodies and moved above her, pushing her legs wide apart.

I leaned down and parted her soft, swollen lips, then guided the tip of my cock into her wet, silky heat. Sliding into her for the first time was not something I’d likely ever forget.

Her little cunt pulsed, trying to pull me deeper. She tilted her hips and tightened her pelvic muscles. If she kept this up, it would be over before we began.

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