Page 203 of Doubts & Fears

This newfound clarity had me able to hear them once more. I hugged Nik’s pillow tightly, feeling giddy. I quickly got up, groaning at my sore body. Nik had absolutely fucked me hard. I might have to use an ice pack before Ivan this evening.

Hell, the thought of his monster cock gave me pause. Would I be able to handle him? That was the real question. I walked toward the dining room with a heated face and took my seat, keeping my eyes down.

When I finally lifted them, I could immediately tell they had discussed something important. I gulped, feeling apprehensive.

“Marcel wants you to call him. Today,” Ivan said, watching my face closely. I looked from Nik to Alek and then back at him.

“Why? I’ve already rescheduled with him for tomorrow. I did that yesterday.”

Nik took my hand. “I freaked out last night about the scars on your back.”

This was not happening.

I thought he’d forgotten about it and the fiasco of me being able to suck dick. It was like the more I wanted to run from all of it, the more it hit me in the face. It’d be a cold day in hell before I told any of them about how much practice I’d had during those years in that art form. It may not have been real men on the receiving end, but the shame of it consumed me. I yanked my hand away, or at least tried to.

“Don’t do that. We’re all well-versed in impact play. I dare say at least two of them are from a badine, and the other from a paddle with spikes,” Nik said.

“Who whipped you, little love?” Ivan asked. Tears welled up in my eyes. I had to look down. All that peace I’d felt earlier evaporated. Nik let my hand go.

“Kitten, answer the question, please.”

“Alek, it isn’t important. It was so long ago. I don’t ever think about it,” I whispered.

“You have today. You can either tell Marcel, or you’ll tell us, but it’s important you open up. The scars on your back are old, and we aren’t talking a year, so you’ll tell us who punished you,” Alek stated.

I could only stare at the floor. My heart beat wildly inside my chest. Alek’s next words did nothing to calm me.

“There are some pretty big changes coming your way, and the bottom line is, we can’t help you if you don’t let us.”

“What changes?” I asked, hating that my voice trembled.

“We can discuss it tomorrow evening, family meeting style. Marcel will join us. I really suggest that you talk it out with him today. That way, if you find it difficult to tell us, he can on your behalf,” Alek continued.

“But I don’t understand. What changes? Can’t you tell me at least that? Did I do something wrong?” I finally asked, worry and self-doubt filling me.So stupid, I chastised myself.

He motioned for me, and I rushed over. He took me in his arms and hugged me tightly. His scent instantly calmed me.

“Sweetness, you didn’t do anything wrong. Why do you look like you’re so afraid? Damn it, who hurt you?”

“It’s not important. I can’t even remember it fully. It was so long ago,” I lied.

Alek sighed and released me. I instantly felt horrible and angrily wiped the tears away.

“Baby, it’s hard for us to move forward in this relationship with you keeping secrets. We don’t want to hurt you,” Nik said, pulling me toward him.

“It’s not a choice. Marcel will want to discuss our relationships now that he knows we have taken things further,” Alek said.

I tried to pull away from Nik. Why did they tell him?

“No, now listen, it’s important. There are some areas we need to iron out. You need to trust us,” Nik said.

“I hate change,” I whispered. He wrapped me in his embrace and kissed the top of my head.

“Be a good girl and eat. You have a full day with Ivan, from what I understand,” Nik said, letting me go and pushing me toward my chair. I took a seat and picked up my fork. “Afterward, you can call Marcel if he doesn’t call you first,” he added.

Alek sighed, looked at his watch, and stood. He and Nik kissed me bye and left. Ivan’s attention was glued to me as I pushed the food around on my plate. I had no appetite and didn’t want to talk to Marcel.

“Maybe you should go in alone today. Marcel is going to ask questions I don’t want to answer. It’ll probably turn into a two-hour session.”

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