Page 33 of Second Shot

“Yes,” he says hoarsely, his blush deepening. “Ireallywant that. I… I’ve thought about it a lot.”

“Yeah?” I smile, feeling ecstatic. I’m so happy we’re on the same page. I’ve thought of little else lately. I love having his mouth on me, but the idea of being inside him is mind blowing. The very idea Ryan Caldwell would let me have his ass, submit to me fully, it’s almost too much to handle.

I also know he’d never agree to let me fuck him if he knew who I was.

There’s no doubt in my mind he’d be absolutely repulsed at the idea that Blubber Boy fucked him. It would be a beautiful way to humiliate him though. I could just wait until after he lets me use his hole, and then reveal who I am. He’d probably lose his fucking mind.

But I also need to be realistic. If I do that to him, everything between us would explode. All the good will and chemistry on the ice would be destroyed in an instant. The team would suffer. Ryan would hate me. He’d feel betrayed. He’d never again look at me with reverence, the way he’s doing right now.

All of that would be gone forever.

My stomach churns at the idea of blowing everything up. I spent so much of my life wanting to get payback from Ryan. The thought of thatconsumedme. But now that my opportunity is here, the thought of hurting Ryan like that makes me sick. Is that because I’m weak? Spineless? Or is it perhaps because I’ve seen a different side to Ryan? A side that makes me want to take care of him. A side that makes me want to protect him.

I meet his green eyes but I no longer shudder in fear. Instead, my heart warms and aches as I hold his trusting gaze. I’m not sure I like these new feelings. They make me feel lost. Unsure of how to move forward with this man I used to hate.

Ryan stands, smiling at me. “I’m ready if you are.”

His grin is warm and he looks happy. Gone are the dark clouds that were in his eyes earlier. He no longer looks crushed beneath guilt and failure. I did that for him. I threw him a lifeline, and he grabbed on with both hands.

I don’t know exactly what to do with all the feelings I’m experiencing right now. But I know one thing for certain; I don’t have it in me to wipe that happiness off his face. Not tonight. I can’t do it. It would hurt me as much as it would hurt him. I’m not ready to let go of whatever this is between Ryan and me.

Not yet.

Chapter Eight

Ryan

Twenty minutes later, we’re walking through the player parking garage toward a sleek black BMW. The paint gleams under the fluorescent lights, and I can tell he takes care of it. That makes sense, seeing as Gabe is a caring, thoughtful kind of guy.

“Nice ride,” I say as he unlocks the doors. “Maybe you can go with me when I have to go car shopping.”

He doesn’t respond, but I catch the hint of a smile as he slides into the driver’s seat.

The engine purrs to life and we navigate out of the arena complex. I sink back into leather seats that smell faintly of his cologne and allow myself to relax. I feel safe with Gabe, and I can give up control for now. I was in a foul mood after the game. He’s probably the only person I’d want to be with right now. His energy soothes me.

We take the coastal highway away from downtown, and I watch the city lights blur past my window. The silence between us is comfortable. Funny, considering justdays ago Gabe made me so nervous I didn’t know what to do with myself.

“A lot of the team lives at the Bayfront Promenade, like me. How come you don’t?” I ask.

He grimaces. “That’s not my scene. I prefer to live in Ocean Cliff. It’s a bit further from the arena, but it’s quieter than downtown.” He takes an exit that leads away from the high-rises and glass towers.

“I’ll probably move out of the Bayfront Promenade, once I’m sure I’m staying.” I fiddle with the air vent.

He glances over. “Why wouldn’t you stay?”

I shrug. “Management might cancel my contract since I suck.”

He exhales. “You don’t suck. And you’re staying put, dumbass. Management is happy with you. You need to stop beating yourself up, Caldwell.”

“Maybe. I guess we’ll see,” I murmur.

“How about we don’t talk about the game anymore tonight,” he says firmly. “We’re going to enjoy our night and put that game behind us for now. Okay?”

“I’ll try.”

“Don’t just try,” he says sharply. “Listen, we all lost that game. It’s not just you who’s in pain. I’m hurting too, Caldwell.”

“I know—”

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