He shakes his head. “No, uh… it was just something I heard somewhere.”
I cock my head. “Gabe, I feel like you’re hiding something.”
“I’m not.” He pulls his gaze away and he stands. “I shouldn’t have paid any attention to gossip. Sorry. It was wrong of me to judge you without really knowing you.” He forces a smile. “Anyway, it’s such a gorgeous day. How about we go for a walk? I need to get the blood pumping.”
Frustrated that he’s shutting me down, I struggle with my temper. I have a right to know who’s spreading lies about me. But the last thing I want is to get into an argument with Gabe. I worry pushing him might make him impatient with me, so I stuff down my irritation. I get to my feet, and pretend I’m not annoyed with his unwillingness to talk. But I am.
“Sure,” I say, finishing off my coffee in one gulp. The liquid has gone cold though and so it tastes bitter now.
How fitting. It matches my mood.
I follow him into the house, grab a hoodie, and then out the front door. We don’t talk at first,and there’s tension between us. It’s not just on my part either. He’s also feeling uptight. I can see it in the stiffness of his shoulders and the clench of his jaw. I’m not used to that with Gabe. Not anymore. We’ve been getting along so well I sometimes forget we didn’t always mesh well.
While I hate the tension between us, I don’t know how to make it disappear. Gabe is hiding something, and that really bothers me. He seems more concerned with protecting whoever spread the rumors than with how it makes me feel. That suggests a closeness, maybe even intimacy, with that other person. Is the gossip coming from a coach? Another player? Not knowing makes me feel paranoid. It could be anyone.
We walk through the hilly streets near his house, the air crisp with the faint tang of eucalyptus. My hoodie sleeves are pushed up, and the breeze brushes along my forearms, cool but not cold. Morning light filters through tangled bougainvillea spilling over stucco walls. A few blooms of early Wisteria drape lazily from a neighbor’s pergola, its pale purple blooms swaying like a curtain in the wind.
Ahead of us, a woman in pink leggings is being dragged by four corgis who seem to have radically different ideas about direction. Gabe smiles at them, murmuring something about short kings with Napoleon complexes, and Imanage a forced laugh. But the tightness in my chest doesn’t ease.
We turn off the sidewalk and take a narrow trail that threads between the last of the houses. The concrete gives way to dirt, and the smell shifts, earthier, tinged with sage and dust. Chaparral flanks the path, dotted with sun-bleached yucca, manzanita shrubs with their twisted red limbs, and the occasional coast live oak rising gnarled and regal against the blue sky. We walk in the same direction for about a half-hour. The trees grow denser as we walk, their canopies arching overhead to blot out the suburban hum we’ve left behind us. There’s no other people for at least a half mile now. Just the two of us and nature.
It should feel peaceful. But it doesn’t.
I realize I’m obsessing, but I can’t stop thinking about what he said. That someone told him I had a reputation for being difficult. That people in the league didn’t like playing with me. That’s the kind of thing that can really damage my reputation, and it’s undeserved. If someone’s saying shit like that behind my back, I need to know. I need to shut it down fast. And the way Gabe brushed it off, it doesn’t sit right.
He walks beside me, his shoulders more relaxed now, his gaze trained on the path like he’s put our earlier awkwardness behind him. I’m glad he’s able to do that so easily, meanwhile, it’sstill gnawing at me. I don’t think it’s fair of him to refuse to give me answers. Anyone would want to know who’s spreading lies about them, right?
I clear my throat, knowing I should just drop it, but unable to do it. “Look, I know you don’t want to talk about this, but I need some answers, Gabe.” I grimace. “Can you at least tell me if those rumors you heard were widespread?”
He stops and turns to me, his eyes guarded. A breeze rustles through the trees above us, casting dappled shadows across his face. “Let it go, Ryan. Please.”
“Why should I have to?” My voice is gruff.
He grimaces. “It’s no big deal.”
“It is to me,” I say hoarsely.
He bites his bottom lip, watching me warily.
I hold his gaze, my gut twisting. I truly don’t understand his reticence to give me any information. There’s something in his expression that isn’t just reluctance, it’s fear. Or maybe guilt. I can’t tell. “You’d feel the same as me if our positions were reversed. I can’t have people spreading lies about me, Gabe. Come on, there’s no way you don’t understand why this is bothering me.”
A muscle works in his cheek as he studies me. At first he looks frustrated, but that slowly changes and his expression gentles. He steps closer to me. We’re standing near a big oak, and my back brushes it as he takes yet another step. I frown, not sure what he’s doing.
His hands land on my hips and he leans into me, pressing me back against the rough bark. I won’t lie, the hard length of his warm body against mine does distract me momentarily. Anytime I’m near Gabe, it’s hard to think.
“Don’t be mad at me,” he says softly, a line between his dark brows.
“Why would I be mad at you?” I ask breathlessly. “It’s this other person I’m upset with.”
“Look.” He lets out a harsh breath. “I… I lied, okay?”
I squint at him. “You lied? About what?”
His voice is hushed as he admits, “There were no rumors.”
“What?”I try to push him away, but he doesn’t budge. “Why would you lie about that?”
Guilt glitters in his eyes. “I’m sorry, okay?”