Page 83 of The Marriage Game

“Wait.” Her eyes dart back and forth between the two of us. “Now youdowant to be in my next book? After you went to such great lengths to stay out of it? What changed?”

I look at Max, he looks back at me, and it’s one of those special moments in a relationship where you just know what the other person is thinking. So, united under the blessing God so lovingly wants to bestow on marriages, we look back at Dorothy, and together we answer, “Our hearts.”

Chapter 31

Max

“Couples,lineup,lineup! Chop! Chop!” Dorothy blares into the megaphone, and the chatter of everyone gathered dies away as we all find our partner and turn our attention her way. We just finished a session on communication and then she brought us outside near the stables for some “fun and games” as she called it. I can’t say for sure when she picked up an axe, but she definitely has one now. I’m not the only one to notice this development. All eyes seem to be on it, and a curious murmur travels through the crowd:why does she have an axe?

“I see you’ve noticed my axe.” Dorothy liftsthe item in question, grunting slightly from the effort. “Or rather your axe, gentleman. For today’s activity the men get to chop wood and the ladies get to watch. You’ll each sign up for a time slot and we’ll go from there...see where the day leads each couple.” She winks pointedly.

A shocked silence follows this pronouncement, but then, from her spot between Jill and Will, Brooke whoops loudly. “Yes! Yes, yes, yes!” she cries, punching her fists in the air. A different manmay find this display embarrassing, but Will takes it all in stride, grinning widely.

Dorothy bursts out laughing. “Oh my, my!” she trills, swiping at tears of mirth. “What a reaction? Now I feel bad that I have to tell you that I was only joking before—we’re not actually doing that. I just wanted to see how people would react.” She marches the axe over to the barn and props it near a pile of chopped wood. “I’ve heard many of you think I’m a little unhinged when it comes to promoting physical intimacy between married couples. Still,” she eyes Will, “seems like your wife there just gave you a pro-tip. Will Barrett, I recommend you get yourself an axe.”

Laughter ripples through the crowd. I chuckle too, though truth be told I wouldn’t mind trying my hand at cutting some wood. Sounds kind of fun. And hey, maybe I could take the finished product back to the cabin to build a fire with. Me and Jill in front of a roaring fire…I get lost in that fantasy for a minute, missing whatever Dorothy says next. As if she can sense the direction of my thoughts, Jill slides a hand under my arm, tucking herself into place next to me, then gives me a saucy smirk.

“Since there’s not going to be any wood chopping, what do you say we get out of here?” I murmur into her ear, delighted at the way her skin flushes in response.

She doesn’t get a chance to respond, though, because all around us couples start bustling and jostling each other, like they’re vying for position. Wait, no. It appears wives, and in a few cases husbands, are hopping on their husbands’, or, in the case of the latter, wives’, backs.

“What’s going on?” I hiss to Jill as Brooke nearly takes me out launching herself onto Will’s back.

“This must be part of the competition Dorothy was talking about just now,” Jill says, looking wildly around. Competition? So that’s what I missed when I was thinking about me and Jillin front of a roaring fire. Great. We’ll never win if we don't even know what the game is—eh, I flit briefly back to the image of holding Jill, worth it. “I’d better get on your back,” she says urgently. “We’ll just have to follow everyone wherever they’re going.” She peers at me. “Am I too heavy, though?” A few days ago I might’ve taken personal offense at this question—thinking she was inferring that I’m not strong—but now that I’ve heard Jill express some insecurities about getting older, I take offense on her behalf.

“Oh please,” I scoff, “you’re not too heavy. You’re perfect.” Jill blushes again, a soft smile playing on her lips. “What are you waiting for then,” I tell her. “Hop on.”

Jill does so, and truth be told it’s not the easiest thing in the world having an adult female on my back. I would never say this, of course. Women are so weird about weight. It’s like they think all their husbands do is think about how their bodies could be improved. Trust me, when my wife is naked the last thing I’m thinking about is improvements. I’m just happy to be there.

“Alrighty, on your mark,” Dorothy shouts and there’s more movement as we all shift into place—still have no idea where we’re even going, but there’s nothing I can do about that now—“get set!” Dorothy pauses, building up to the climactic word: “Go!”

The whole line of people surges forward. The sounds of pounding feet and laughter fill my ears, but I just wrap my arms more tightly around Jill’s thighs and focus on staying with the front of the pack. Out of the corner of my eye I spot Tucker. He’s got Amelia on his back and he’s shouting “Yee-haw,” every few steps. It’s obnoxious, yes, but I also find that his presence doesn’t bother me so much anymore. Jill doesn’t want him. She’s not comparing me to him. So that means he’s just some guy. Nobody special.

Although I still really want to beat him. What can I say? I like to win. I dig deep for some extra energy, closing the distance between us and them.

“That’s it, Max,” Jill says into my ear, her encouragement giving me an additional boost. Up ahead I spot Rhett the stable hand standing near a triangular red flag marked “2” and what looks like a pile of rope. Luke and Hannah are a few yards ahead of us and they make a beeline for him, so I do the same.

They’re already grabbing a rope off the pile when we arrive. “The next part is a lasso three-legged race!” Rhett drawls as Jill slides off my back. “You know the drill, use the rope to join your ankles together then hobble on over to the next leg of the race.”

“Next leg of the race?” I exclaim. “How many are there?”

“Weren’t you listening to Dorothy, Max?” Hannah says as Luke ties the rope around their ankles. “She called it a dude ranch triathlon. Whoops got to go.” She and Luke take off, struggling a little more with this part since they can’t just count on Luke’s athleticism. Hannah, though active, has never been especially coordinated.

Others are pulling up to the three-legged race starting point now, including Tucker and Amelia and Will and Brooke. The latter couple is half-laughing, half-panting. There’s a smudge of Brooke’s bright red lipstick on Will’s cheek. Competitive as Brooke can be, I’m surprised she’s not freaking out about not being in the lead. Then again, marrying Will and having kids has mellowed her out a bit. Last Christmas we played Minute to Win It games, and she actuallyletone of Hannah’s kids win. Elle was salty about that for a while, claiming Aunt Brooke never let her win when she was little. In the end, Brooke managed to buy back her favor with twenty dollars.

Still, mellowed out or not, they’re bound to be good at this part given how much they go dancing—their bodies are used to moving in sync.

No time to waste then.

I grab a rope and we both put our foot inside the noose, then I pull the lasso tight, holding the remaining rope in my hand.

“Ready?” I ask Jill. She nods.

“Inside foot first?” she asks.

“Sounds good. On three. One, two, three—” we set off. We’re a little clunky at first, but then settle into a nice rhythm of inside foot, outside foot. Jill mutters the pattern as we go, and I lose myself in focusing on the repeated words. We pass Luke and Hannah, stealing the lead.

Our pace picks up as we spot Mick standing by another triangular red flag up ahead; this one is marked with a 3. Mick is waving people over with enthusiasm.

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