I sank onto the couch again, my hand slowly reaching for the envelope. My fingers hovered over it.
Just then, my phone buzzed. I flinched and grabbed it, foolishly hoping it was her.
But it wasn’t.
It was the hospital, a reminder for Avni’s follow-up visit. Her name blinked on the screen like a cruel joke. I shut my eyes and leaned back, pressing my palms against my face.
The air felt heavier now. Like the whole house knew what I was still refusing to admit:
She was truly gone.
She had made her choice.
And I had made mine.
But hadn’t I already lost?
Because despite the silence, the emptiness, and those damn divorce papers sitting like a curse on my table, only one truth echoed louder than anything else that I still loved her and I always would.
And now, I had to live with the fact that I let her walk away.
But maybe Ira was right.
Maybe it wasn’t too late.
I stood up, my heart thudding painfully against my ribs. I didn’t know what I was going to do.
But I knew one thing for sure. I couldn’t let this be the end.
______
Chapter 60
AVNI
I was on my way to the hospital; Noor had just given birth to her first child. My heart was fluttering with nerves. I didn’t know how she was feeling, how much pain she had endured, or if she even wanted to see visitors. But her husband? He looked overjoyed, practically glowing with the news.
“My friend just had her first child, and my hands are still empty?” Kavya groaned beside me, pretending to sob. “God, why don’t you just call me home if you’re going to leave me like this? Why can’t you send me a charming prince already? Why must you always laugh at my love life like it's some joke?”
I laughed under my breath, shaking my head at her antics. “Shut up, you’re in a cab, not a temple,” I scolded her playfully.
She pouted like a five-year-old. “Still, doesn’t He have ears in both?”
There were only four months left until the Kathak dance competition in Delhi, and I was preparing for it with everything I had. Not a single day had passed without practice since the day I left Aryan. Over a month had gone by without seeing him, hearing his voice. All I knew through Rhea was that his next posting was in the far northeast, somewhere in Arunachal Pradesh. It felt like he was on the very edge of the world.
Sometimes I wanted to call him. Just hear his voice, even if it was cold or distant. But my pride wouldn’t let me. And he didn’t try either.
Mrs. Rathore had made it very clear that she didn’t approve of the way I treated her son. What she didn’t know, what no one in our families knew, was that I was three months pregnant with Aryan’s child. And next week, I planned to terminate it.
Even thinking about it made my stomach turn. But what choice did I have? No one knew. Not even my friends. The fewer people who knew, the less real it felt. Or maybe the less guilty I could pretend to be.
Except for Prashant. I told him on the way back to Udaipur. The words just poured out of me. I needed to tell someone. I needed someone to know. I wanted him to understand what I was doing, maybe even see me differently. Maybe he would think twice before proposing anything to me ever again.
“You’re gaining weight,” Kavya said, frowning slightly as she studied my face. Before I could answer, she added, “You shouldn’t be, not now. In four months you’ll be dancing on the country’s grandest stage. You know how important this competition is for you, right?”
I nodded silently, swallowing the lump rising in my throat.
Guilt wrapped around me like a noose, tightening every time I took a breath. I had made my decision, but that didn’t make it easier to live with.