Page 34 of Monsters of Midnight

Even as I had this thought I knew what it was. It was Ryder.

There was a sense that I had of knowing when I had lost what was missing. This journey through death was one taken alone. There was no way I would experience it with Ryder, even though I couldn’t remember anything part of my life without him. Even though I only met him in my late thirties and been with him in my early forties, it was as if being with Ryder had shifted and changed every memory I had my entire life. He was such a part of me that even now, through the fog of death and the changes that were made I still had a sense of him.

A knock came on my cell door.

With no idea of day or night, I assumed it was Oren come to fetch me to go to the café. I had realized in our daily trips to the café, having a dead human with you was a way the Valkyries avoided each other. Although they liked to move in packs, by having any human with them they automatically stood alone. They could see and be seen, but they were not required to interact or engage with either of the Valkyries. Or the demons. Their job at that time was to take care of us.

Somehow, I did not mind.

The opportunity to see the supernatural creatures up close and personal was astounding. I couldn’t remember what I had heard about Valkyries in my human life. It was already just a memory, but I knew they were magical creatures who helped the fallen Vikings on the battlefield to bring them to Valhalla. Even though I felt like there was more, that was all I could remember at the moment. And so, it felt pretty special that a Valkyrie was paying attention to me.

When I open the door to my cell, though, I was not greeted by Oren’s sharp, white wings and features. Instead Thrain stood there.

The metal of his demon armor blended into the darkness around us, making him an even darker vision in my doorway.

“You have visitors,” Thrain said, grumbling, and I was pretty sure from his stance he didn’t like the idea that I had visitors.

I felt the startling realization that if he didn’t like it, I didn’t really like it. I wasn’t sure exactly why, but maybe because he was my benefactor here in Undirheim. I knew that in a place full of demons and Valkyries, I wanted to keep the lowest profile possible and not get any negative attention. Having the demon lord upset with me was definitely getting negative attention. Definitely not the type of attention I wanted. I didn’t want any attention whatsoever, except maybe for the one on one attention I was getting from Oren. It was the type of attention that made me feel safe and comfortable. I felt like I could ask her a question if I ever had any. I glanced over at Thrain, and it was not quite the same with the demon lord.

“I will have you meet with him in the clearing,” Thrain said. “It’ll be private enough, so not everybody will know your business, but it won’t be so quiet that no one will hear you scream.”

My body shuddered as he rounded out the word scream. Why would I scream in Ryder’s presence? I didn’t dare ask the question, though instead, I just nodded along with Thrain and joined him out in the street.

The thought of meeting Ryder was making me uncomfortable and unhappy, as I followed the cobblestone, dark streets toward the woods surrounding the village.

In the outskirts as we moved toward the trees, I could see Oren hovering. She was floating off of the ground just a little bit, her wings beating every so often just to keep her afloat as she followed along behind us. It wasn’t until we were moving in the direction of the forest I really started to see it, how the branches of the trees stretched against a gun smoke grey sky. And somewhere in the middle of it was the clearing where I would meet with Ryder and the only memory I had left of my human life I had been married to this demigod, but even that was just a dim memory in the crisp shadows of Undirheim.

The instant I saw his hulking dark shadow in the clearing, and I felt a sharp pain pierce my body. As if Thrain expected it, he reached out with one hand to catch me as I stumbled.

“What was that?” I asked. My eyes not leaving the dark shadow that stood hulking in the clearing amidst the skeletons of the trees.

“It’s called a memory,” Thrain said. “Humans are stripped of their memories when they come in to Undirheim. It makes it easier to move on if you aren’t tied to all your human emotions, which are accessed through memory.”

“You mean love?” I set my hand against my chest, as I felt it rise and fall.

Thrain visibly jerked at this. He understood exactly what I was talking about.

“You’re in love with someone,” I said.

Thrain’s gaze shifted quickly to Oren before returning back to me. If my days in Undirheim were anything to understand, it was probably they didn’t talk about these types of things here. And there was something in the way he looked at Oren…but I pressed my lips shut. If he didn’t want to talk about it, I wasn’t going to be the one to pressure him. I saw the flames in his eyes as he turned back to look at me and gave me a single nod of his head.

“Yes,” he confirmed.

“You know I have to say, I never would’ve guessed demons would have lovers,” I murmured. “Though, who am I to talk?” I continued. “My husband is a monster, and a demigod at that.”

“Demons are capable of love,” Thrain said. “It’s a very special kind of magic. It’s a magic of all possibilities. And it brings souls together in a way more powerful than any other force on earth, or Undirheim, or in the other realms.”

“You’ve got to be shitting me,” I murmured. “Everyone was right. Love will find a way. Love has the greatest power…” All the clichés were running back to my mind.

Thrain shrugged. “If you don’t want to like it, you don’t have to, but it’s the truth.”

“If it’s the truth, then why does this memory hurt?” I asked, pressing my hand even harder against my chest, trying to breathe into the pain that was still piercing through my body.

“It’s not really pain,” Thrain said. “It’s just a different vibration than Undirheim. Undirheim is not built on attachment. The problem with attachment is that if we get attached to people here, then we would never let them go. And our whole purpose is to transition souls from being a human, which is a very complex state of passion and love, and help you transition to the more objective world that is not earth. There are numerous worlds out there to explore and live in.”

“So, you’re here to numb the experience of human lives,” I asked.

“Not exactly how I would put it,” Thrain said, “but I can see why you would say that.”

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