“Gotcha, Dad. EVERYTHING IS VERY ABOVEBOARD,” Ozzie said with an exaggerated wink. He was, of course, thinking they might be under surveillance.
“This is not business-related. It’s something completely different.” Their father beamed, and many hearts in the room kerplunked. “I’m running for the United States Senate, and you’re all going to be part of the campaign.”
Chapter One
Gabby
Dad really knew how to kill a vibe, and the vibes weren’t great to start. I’d driven four hours for this nonsense? Talk about things that could’ve been said in an email.
“What huge news!” I chirped, after we all sat around dumbfounded for a minute or two. Somebody had to chime in. “I think I can speak for everyone when I say we wish you all the best.”
“Are you for real right now?” Ozzie said, yanking off his sunglasses.“Politics?”
“This is crazy,” Talia agreed, and it was nice to see them on the same page for once. “You have zero experience.”
“And no money!” Ozzie pointed out. “You lost ninety-nine percent of your fortune, and now you’re looking to spend the leftovers on ads about some asshole’s bad policies?” He made a gagging sound. “Of all the things to do with your few remaining years on earth—”
“He has more than a few years,” I said, and smiled encouragingly in Dad’s direction. Meanwhile, he’d backed up against the fireplace, and his face had gone pale. “Dad’s in his prime. He’s going to outlive us all.”
Primewas an overstatement, but with his full head of hair and straight white teeth, Dad looked younger than most sixty-one-year-olds, not that I knew many to compare him to. But he didwork out every morning at five and kept a personal physician on staff, though not for the usual reasons a rich guy might, like to procure medicinal cocaine.
“I guess you could sell out to the gun lobby or whatever,” Ozzie offered. “That’d be one way to fund it.”
“No one’s taking money from the NRA,” Talia said.
Through it all, Ustenya remained uncharacteristically silent, not an admonishment or “Ust-ism” to be heard.Come on, I pleaded in my brain.Tell us we’re acting like we’ve been drinking gas, or vaginas don’t want fairy tales. Anything to make the conversation less awkward.
“Why, Dad?” Talia pressed. “Why are you doing this?”
“You’re gonna lose,” Ozzie said. “You know that, right?”
“You guys...” I tried. Obviously, it was a wretched plan, but my siblings didn’t have to be somean. He wasn’t the greatest dad, but he’d been through some tough times, and we didn’t need the greatest because we had Diane, who sat next to me in her pearl-button sweater and prim bob. Technically, Diane was our nanny, which was an admittedly weird thing to say when the baby of the family was twenty-three, but she’d swooped in when I was nine, filling a mom-sized hole and changing our lives for the better.
“I’m a tad taken aback by this reaction,” Dad said. “I thought you all might be excited about the prospect of joining the campaign.”
Ozzie burst out laughing. “Come on, man. We don’t know jack shit about politics. We’d just fuck it up.”
“Speak for yourself,” Talia said.
“You are all being extremely difficult,” Ustenya chimed in at last. “Who are you to reject his request? He could win, if you put in some effort. Many geese defeat a pig.”
Ozzie asked who the pig was in this scenario and Ustenya took to cursing him in her native tongue, whatever that was. It lacked a future tense, that’s all we knew.
“It’d probably make more sense if we understood the thoughtprocess,” I said. It was getting heated around here and everyone needed to take a step back. “Maybe you could explain what’s driving the decision?” Diane squeezed my knee as if to say,good girl. Or, perhaps,nice try.
“Oh, for fuck’s sake,” Ozzie grumbled.
“Gabby’s right,” Talia said. “Please.” She swept a hand. “Explain.”
Dad bit down on his lip. He took a minute to gather his words, the front pocket of his shirt repeatedly flashing blue with incoming texts. “There are many reasons,” he said. “One, the opportunity to restore our name.”
“By running for political office?” Ozzie balked, and fair enough.
Dad sighed. “I need to dosomethingwith the rest of my life. Despite your assumptions...” He passed Ozzie a look. “I still have a few decades left in me.”
“God willing.” Ustenya crossed her chest.
“The idea of starting over with some new business doesn’t appeal to me at all. Busting my hump just to grow my own personal net worth? No thanks. It’ll never be what it was, and do I even care?”