Page 78 of Darling Beasts

“But then you never would’ve come.” He smiled. “Between you and me, I suspect this campaign won’t last much longer. Even with the cash infusion, I think Ustenya is fed up. She never expected it to be so grueling.”

“And unglamorous,” I said.

“And she keeps worrying about getting fat. At least she has her priorities in order.” Ivan shook his head. “You know, for someone who never wanted to do this, you’ve been quite competent.”

I grinned. “Thank you. All I’ve ever hoped for in life is to be perfectly middling,” I said, not totally joking. “And it has been fun, occasionally.”

Suddenly a high-pitched yodel erupted. Something flashed across my field of vision. I rattled my head.

“Um. Did Dad adopt another pet? Like a peacock or a... ?”

“I don’t think so,” Ivan said, brows pinched.

The animal flashed again, and my heart kerplunked.No, please, not now, I begged the universe, but the hives were already rolling across my skin like a tide.

“Ivan,” I said, gripping his arm. “I need to check on something. Please. Don’t ask any questions. Just walk away.” Without waiting for his response, I took off, racing across the property, chasing God only knew what.

Chapter Fifty-Two

“RAJ!” I screamed into the phone as I speed-walked toward the barn. “Meet me outside HQ. HURRY!”

The bird darted past. I startled, and my phone clattered to the ground. When I looked up, Raj was running toward me. The bird zoomed by again. “What the hell was that?” he said.

“How would I know.” It yodeled again then took off. Now we were sprinting across the yard, officially giving chase. The creature was kind of fat and low to the ground, but the bastard was fast.

“I’ve never seen anything like it,” Raj huffed as we wended through a rose garden. “It’s very colorful. And muscular?”

I didn’t realize a bird could be muscular, but Raj was right.

“Motherfucker!” I cursed, catching my hand on a thorn. “I guess you’re not my antidote.”

“Come on,” Raj said, grabbing my elbow. “We’re going to lose sight of him. Let’s take that.” He pointed to a golf cart.

“It’s the landscaper’s. We can’t steal it.”

“We’reborrowing. And we have to. We’ll never catch the guy on foot.”

Before I could protest, Raj was behind the wheel. Such a man move, assuming he’d be the one to drive. Although, I’d never operated one and didn’t want to be in charge, and so I kept my mouth shut and slid into the passenger seat. Raj hit the gas, and we pitched forward.

“What are we going to do?” I wailed. “The party starts in two hours. Should I call dos Santos? I’m calling dos Santos.”I went to unlock my phone, but in my frantic state, it didn’t recognize my face.

“Here,” Raj said, reaching into the front pocket of his flannel. “SD Wildlife Removal is one of my starred contacts. They usually give me a fifteen percent discount.”

“Raj!” I smacked his arm. “A wildlife removal service? Do you know what that means? It’s removal.From existence.”

We bumped over something, and Raj’s glasses relocated to the end of his nose. “Well. Yeah.” His cheeks flushed deep scarlet through his brown skin. “It’s California law. Either they move the wildlife one hundred yards from where it was found—which, not helpful—or they exterminate.”

I couldn’t believe my ears. No, really. This was too much. I temporarily forgot about the extremely terrifying bird. “The badgers at the trolley station. You had them executed?”

“Not personally.”

“Oh my God. Don’t you see the irony? You’re helping the unhoused in your spare time, but when some poor mustelid from the Sunda Strait loses his home and shows up at yours, you off him?”

“It’s not the same.”

The bird zipped past again, returning my brain to our present horror. But still! Raj killed all those badgers. They caused a lot of problems, I got it, but it wasn’t their fault. They were doing their best! I couldn’t believe my sister was cheating on her boyfriend with an animal killer.

“I’m calling dos Santos,” I said, shoving Raj’s phone back at him.

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