Page 61 of Quinn, By Design

“Jamie wants to have children.”

Kelly set her drink on the table. “That’s huge.”

“I’ve asked for time to think.” Clementine traced a finger through the condensation on the side of her glass.

“You’d make a wonderful mother, Clem.” Lucy touched her hand.

“Jamie says that, but how do you know? What’s different about now and then? What if I stuff it up?”

“Jamie won’t let you stuff it up,” Kelly said matter-of-factly.

“I really love him.” Clem sounded exhausted. “Have you told Niall about your childhood demons?”

“I planned to do it tonight, but he had to cancel,” Lucy admitted.

Tonight, she’d planned to share all her secrets. To tell him the rest of her story, about the muddled lessons she’d learned from her mum’s death, her irrational fear of debt, her conversation with Hunter, and the size of her ridiculous loan. She’d spent her life trying to avoid mistakes and come scarily close with Niall. She’d also planned to apologise for taking advantage of him.

“Sorry, that sounds like you two are the consolation prize.”

“I wouldn’t have said no to ‘hot,’” said Kelly, when all three of them knew Kelly’s dog, Boo, vetted all her male companions.

“Are you scared?

“A little.” Lucy dribbled the last of the sparkling wine into their glasses.

“Right back at you, sister.” Clem grimaced.

“Next bottle’s on me.” Kelly spoke into the sombre lull following Clem’s remark. “My excuse for not seeing you lately is a series of visits to interstate libraries. I’ve been asked to act in a more senior position, and it might become permanent. I’m about to become an important person in my little world. That gives me the power to banish fear.”

“Remember when we ...”

Lucy let herself think about Niall for a second, then threw herself into retellings of their childhood disasters and victories. Kelly and Clementine knew many, not all, of her secrets.

A few hours later, Clementine tucked Lucy into a cab and gave the driver Lucy’s address. At the first corner, Lucy leaned forward and said, “Wrong address,” and recited Niall’s instead.

Her friends made her believe she could choose the future she wanted. She giggled. Niall was gorgeous, all sexy beast and best friend. She’d become accustomed to his smell, to his presence, to him reaching for her in the night, to the simple intimacy of a cuddle and talking about her day and what was ahead. She wanted that tonight.

Tomorrow, when she was sober, she’d tell him the rest of her story.

She paid the cab and watched it drive away before wending—weaving—her way to Niall’s gate.

The sensor light on his veranda flashed on. She swung her head to face it. Bright enough so she raised a hand to protect her eyes.

“Hi, Lucy.”

“I had dinner with my girlfriends.” She hiccupped. “I told them you were sexy and smart, although I used more words.” She’d explain everything in the morning. Now, she wanted him to hold her in his arms.

* * *

“Looks like some party.” Niall scanned the street. “How’d you get here?”

“Cab.” She stumbled up the few steps. “Whoops.”

He extended a hand. The scent of her addled what few brains he had left. He disengaged himself. “I should take you home.”

“Wanna stay.” Her smile was naughty.

Earlier tonight, when he’d called to say he had something on, guilt had stung like a bite from a sand fly. It would have been wrong to hold on to her, when his skin was tight and his limbs heavy with a frustration he couldn’t shift. His life had been upended. He had the bare bones of a plan to move forward, but he needed time alone to shape it.

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