I can’t escapeher.
At two a.m. I find myself back at the ranch. I throw the truck in park and turn off the ignition. Silence falls over the cab and the only sound is the breath I exhale; one I didn’t realize I was holding.
I left less than three hours ago, barely making it five miles down the road before pulling off the highway into a clearing that overlooked Oakridge Ranch land. Fucking Lincoln. The man is one of the largest landowners in the county. It was stupid of me to think I could escape it. The faint lights of the ranch were barely visible in the distance, but they were there, like a warning beacon reminding me of my mistake.
Despite doing everything in my power to stop thinking about Mila, my thoughts were clouded with all things her. She popped into my mind unbidden,forbidden.The whole situation—her taking up every little bit of space in my mind—is fucking infuriating. My thoughts have always been chaotic, but ever since Mila arrived, it’s a million times worse. Everything is amplified and I don’t have the first clue how to deal with it. I have no outlet for my pent-up energy, this overwhelming need to purge the darkness in me before it explodes.
The last time I was with a woman was Dulcie, the redhead who circled me like prey until she got what she wanted. Maybe I need to go back there. Lose myself in someone else so I can finally stop thinking about…sunshine. And Dulcie was good at giving head, even if I came to thoughts of Mila. But next time, I won’t just blow my load down her throat, I need to fuck her.
It won’t help. A little voice in my head whispers and my frustration grows. My fists hit the steering wheel in anger. For fucks’ sake. I spent a good couple of hours sitting up at that clearing and still, I don’t have a solution for my problem.
Sighing, I push the door open, stepping out of the truck. The cool air hits me, and I pause, taking in the stillness that greets me. The ranch is quiet, the only sound is the faint screech of an owl echoing in the distance. It’s eerie but I’ll take the silence over the blaring music, the chaos of the party any day.
Striding across the yard, I make my way to the bunkhouse, my body feeling heavy. As much as I hate this place, hate sharing a space with these men, at least I have somewhere to lay my head at night. And hell, it’s better than nothing.
Gripping the knob, I turn it slowly, pushing the door open and breathing a sigh of relief when I’m greeted by darkness. Snoring, grunting, and the occasion fart break the otherwise silence, and the air is filled with the stink of sweat, stale liquor, sex and rotten gas. I gag as nausea churns in my gut, as the odors mix and settle in the room. I should be used to this. I’ve been living here for months now. But somehow, tonight, it’s unbearable. My earlier thoughts, about having a space to sleep, go out the window. This is fucking gross. At this point, I’d rather take my chances sleeping out in the pasture. At least that wouldn’t smell like living in a damn frat house, surrounded by a bunch of fucking animals.
I step deeper into the room, letting my obvious disdain show, even though no one is awake to witness it. I head toward mybed in the far corner, even though I know sleep won’t come easy tonight. Not with everything that’s happened. Stripping out of my clothes, I pull back the covers and get inside, covering my head with the blanket to block out the smells.
Blocking out the noise in my head, I start planning what needs to happen next. I need to make enough money to get out of here. There’s only one way to do that; get back on the rodeo circuit. There’s just one problem with that. I need to convince Lincoln to give me a chance. And so far, my attempts to prove myself have gone unnoticed.
Then there’s what happened tonight. If he finds out about my kiss with Mila, I’m done. He’ll fire my ass before I can blink, and I’ll be back where I started. Maybe even worse off.
That’s why I need to keep my distance from Mila. It can never happen again. I need to keep my head straight and focus on my goal. Because no matter how shitty my circumstances are, I am still better off than I was before Lincoln offered me a job. I might not like where I am now, but it was so much worse before I came to Oakridge Ranch.
Mila may be the most beautiful woman I’ve ever laid eyes on, but she is not worth losing the progress I’ve made, or what I hope to achieve here.
I just need to keep reminding myself of that.
But despite the constant reality check, there is still a voice in my head, reminding me that she exists and tempting me to cross every line.
Because after that kiss, something tells me that girl, that beautiful ray of sunshine, might just be fucking worth it.
Chapter Seventeen
MILA
My fingers move across my bottom lip, as if trying to capture the memory of Colter’s lips against mine the other night. I press harder, trying to recreate the situation but it’s useless. The pads of my fingers are too soft, too unobtrusive, to… subtle. A gentle touch in comparison to the way Colter dominated my mouth.
It wasn’t just a kiss though. It was something more—a claiming. Despite lasting mere minutes, it was all consuming, wrapping itself around me in ways I didn’t think were even possible. The way he kissed me—intense, passionate—it still burns my skin. As my world shifted with several emotions, I knew it was wrong… yet nothing in my life has ever felt so right. But I can’t help wishing Colter felt the same, wished this thing between us, whatever it is, was mutual.
I can’t blame him for putting distance between us. Colter has actively been avoiding me since that night, and though I’ve been evading him too, I can’t deny the rejection that claws at me with every day that passes. Sighing, my teeth catch my bottom lip. This back and forth between us? I’m exhausted.
“Mila?” My father’s deep voice cuts through my racing thoughts.
My eyes snap to his, heat burning my cheeks when I see him watching me closely. His eyes are narrowed, running all over my face as if he knows exactly what I am daydreaming about. Clearing my throat, I take a moment to collect myself. “I’m sorry. What were you saying?”
A loud snort erupts from across the table and my gaze snaps to my brother. I scowl at the glint of amusement in his eyes, and when his laugh grows louder, my annoyance ignites further.
“Jesus, sis. You know Pops doesn’t like repeating himself. Focus, will you?” He clicks his tongue, a teasing grin curving his lip.
My teeth grind together, before I inhale a calming breath. I know I shouldn’t be directing my irritation at Maverick—he is just being his usual asshole self, after all—but with everything going on, I feel ready to snap at any moment. And it’s not like I can storm down to the bunkhouse and confront the one person I’m really pissed at.
“Your brother’s right, Mila. What is going on with you?” Dad studies me closely. And the clear suspicion in his eyes makes my stomach turn with anxiety.
A wave of guilt washes over me, the weight of what happened the other night hitting me. I don’t regret it, not one second, but the fear of someone finding out eats at me. Even worse, the idea my father might sense something is terrifying. If he ever found out, I would never forgive myself for what I know would happen to Colter.
Forcing the panic down, I summon every ounce of control I have and plaster a neutral expression on my face.