Page 16 of Friends Rucked Up

His forehead wrinkles but he quickly recovers his composure. A glimpse of mischief replaces his temporary displeasure.

“Why is it working?” he asks with a cheeky grin.

I laugh, hoping to hold onto the playful turn in our evening. “A girl could get used to this, so maybe.”

“I better stop then. Your brother would have my balls if I ever put moves on you.”

Is that why he’s been acting strange? Is he worried about what my brother would think if we became closer? This tiny insightinto his mind makes so much sense. I have to convince him we can be Saylor and Alfie minus the presence of Harlan.

“Don’t you dare stop. This might be the best non-date I’ve ever had.” I keep my tone bubbly like I haven’t just been given a clue to solve the mystery that is Alfie Nash.

“See, I told you I could change your opinion of me in one night.” He puffs out his chest with pride.

I could allow him to think he’s won, but I want him to hear my truth. “I already thought very highly of you.” I give him a serious stare, hoping my words cement in his brain.

“Very highly,” he repeats with a frown. There is that look again. Anyone would’ve thought I’d told him I hated him rather than liked him. His next words surprise me, though. “Have we slipped into a Jane Austen novel?”

It’s like we’re walking on the edge of a cliff between playfulness and miscommunication. “I mean, my opinion of you is already pretty good. You’re allowed an off day for the male equivalent of the female’s time of the month. There was no need to make up for your moodiness over the last few days. Be yourself, that’s all I ask.”

“I’m forgiven, and I thank you for that. I can do more to reset the balance between us. If this was a groundhog day and I was trying to score points, what could I do to take our relationship to the next level?”

I’m pretty sure he doesn’t realise what he’s just said, and he meant it in a friendly way, but my eyes instantly go to his full lips. My mouth goes dry, and my thoughts are spoken out loud.

“Only a kiss could make me like you more.” My words hang between us as I look at his features trying to work out his reaction, but he’s hard to read sometimes. Losing my nerve,I add, “I’m joking.” I smile, but he doesn’t reciprocate my playfulness.

Great, Saylor, you took it so far.

“Now that has bad idea written all over it.” His voice comes out with a roughness that sends a shiver down my spine.

“Then let’s forget this silly groundhog thing. What you’ve done for me tonight has been amazing, yet it wasn’t needed to make me think any better of you.”

I’m proud I manage to pull the conversation full circle, minimising my chances of embarrassing myself. Admitting I want to kiss him was impulsive and inappropriate.

“Thanks, I think.”

We both look back at the TV, but I feel like I’ve put my foot in it because there’s an uncomfortable feeling in the air. Why is our friendship on a tight thread? Nothing’s changed between us other than my brother leaving. He’s Alfie and I’m Saylor. We’re friends in the loose term of the word. There is zero need for weirdness, so why can’t we just be us?

It’s almost ten o’clock when we make our way into the bedroom. I wash up first and change into his faded black t-shirt. While I’m getting settled under the duvet, he uses the bathroom before coming to join me. He turns off the light and we both stare at the ceiling.

“Saylor.”

“Yeah.”

“It wasn’t my intention to make it sound like I would never kiss you. Any man would be lucky to have you. You’re a beautiful woman, but we can’t happen. It would make it complicated between us.”

The fact he just called me beautiful does funny things to my insides, even though I sensed the rejection before he delivered the blow. “You need to lighten up a little Mr Hot Shot. We both know I’m not the girl for you.”

I call him that to remind us both he’s an exceptional human being. He could have anyone he wants. He doesn’t need to justify why he’s not choosing me. He’s busy with rugby and plenty of women are trying to catch his attention.

He turns on his side towards me, so I have his full attention. “What makes you say that?”

I can’t win with him at the moment. If I’m agreeing with him, he wants to know why, and if I hint at something more, he shuts down. It’s like he’s battling between two forces. I don’t understand what he wants from me. Is he trying to spare my feelings? Is he trying to be nice, but doesn’t want to give me the wrong idea?

“You could have anyone you want. I’m not your type, and that’s totally fine.”

He scowls at me like I’ve said something offensive. “You don’t know what you’re talking about.” I frown, not really understanding but he leaves no room for more questioning as he turns his back to me. “Good night, Saylor.”

I’m left stunned by his overreaction. I blink away the fog in my brain and when I’m finally able to speak, I return his gesture. “Night.” I turn over and close my eyes although my thoughts are working on overtime.

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