Page 67 of Playing Rucking Hard

What makes you stay when everything in you says to run?

Her breath shudders as she looks back at me. “Dylan,” she says in a half-purr and half-moan.

“I don’t care about the rules, Em. I don’t care about the risk. I want you. I’ve wanted you since the first night. And every night after that. Even when I was trying to pretend I didn’t.”

She flinches, like my words physically hurt her. “If it were just me—just my heart, just my job—I’d take the risk. But it’s not.” She shakes her head, blinking hard. “You know why I can’t. I can’t let Sage down. I need this job. You don’t know what we’ve gone through to get her to acknowledge my text messages with a word. You don’t know what it’s like to have neighbors think I’m abusing her. I need to put her first, and risking my job to date you isn’t putting her first.”

I exhale, my chest tight. “Trust me. We’ll figure it out. Together. That plan to fake date, we can do it. I just need to talk to Kenzie but she’ll want to know who you are before she can talk to management. They threatened me with a stalking charge,so they know there is someone. Believe me, they’d rather get behind a positive love story rather than hunt you down like a criminal.”

She pushes back from the table, standing quickly. “Kenzie already knows.”

“No.” I shake my head. “Not possible.”

“Dylan, she came up to me after training. She knows.”

“What did she say?” Fuck, fuck, fuck. If Kenzie knows, then my captain probably knows. No. If Cooper knows, he’d rip into me. There’s no way he’d let this slide.

“That hypothetically, we could make it work. But I told her the same thing I’m telling you. No. I can’t risk it.”

Panic claws at my throat as I reach for her hand, but she pulls away. “Emma …”

She’s already backing up. “I can’t do this, Dylan. Stalking? When they were talking about sacking you for stalking, I couldn’t believe it. I wanted to come forward, but I couldn’t. What sort of person does that make me? How can I be a good role model for Sage when my decisions are shit?”

I stand, desperate now. “You don’t have to protect me, Em. I know what I want, and I want you. I’m not going to change my mind, and I have a way to make this work.”

Her breath is shaky, her fingers tightening around the paper swan. “No. I have to think about Sage. She’s my responsibility. I can’t let her down.”

I rake a hand through my hair. “Then let me help. Take my lawyer. Let him make sure you and Sage are protected, no matter what happens.”

She shakes her head. “No, Dylan. I can’t.”

“Do it for Sage.” I hand over Hunt’s business card. “Let me give him your name. Or just call him and tell him you are the woman I asked him to protect. If you won’t do it for yourself, or for us, do it for Sage.”

She stills. A long, painful silence stretches between us. Then she nods, just once. “You play dirty. You know that I’ll do anything for my sister.”

“We have that in common.” And hopefully once Sage finds out Saxon’s new living arrangements, Emma will realize I’ll do what it takes to protect the people I love.

“Okay.”

It’s not a victory. Not really.

But it’s something.

Then she turns and walks away, and I let her go.

For now.

Chapter 23

Just a Game

Dylan

The roar of the crowd is deafening, but I can’t hear any of it. Not really. My head’s a mess, my focus shot. The game is happening around me, and it feels like I’m on the sidelines watching the world go by. All the self-motivating bullshit leaves me unaffected.

I need to play for her, but why bother when she’s not watching? Why should I give a damn when she doesn’t? I can’trecall one time Emma has looked at me all game. I’m invisible to her, but she’s all I see.

She’s all I notice and all I want.

---