Page 2 of Partridge in a Bear Tree

Ashley, politely but with determination, said, "Oh, no, I couldn't possibly, that's yours, and besides, I've drunk more Thunder Blunder than I could possibly need in one lifetime," and firmly but gently pressed the tall glass of beer back into Penny's hands.

At least, that's what happened in her head. What happened outside her head, out there in the real world where everybody else was a participant too, was that she said, "Oh no I'm already blunder drunk for a lifetime," and shoved the beer away in a panic, splashing most of it down Penny's shirt.

CHAPTER 2

It had been a perfect opportunity, Penny thought, and then it had all gone wrong.

There was Ashley Torben, amazonian beauty, six feet tall if she was an inch,finallyovercoming what was apparently an unholy terror of Gwen Booker and dropping by to say hi. Penny understood that terror, honestly: she'd been tongue-tied and shaking with nerves the first time she'd met Gwen and recognized her as child star Emma Hart. But she'd overcome it brazenly enough that they'd been in a band together for almost two years before Gwen found out that Pennyhadrecognized her. The point was, Penny got it. Meeting superstars was kind of a lot.

Although how Ashley, with her incredible cheekbones and deliciously full mouth and big soft eyes could possibly be overwhelmed by anybody, Penny didn't know. Ashley looked like the kind of woman people would stop on the street to smile after, or maybe mistake for a supermodel, or maybe offer themselves as personal servants for the rest of eternity just to spend some time with her. She was so tall. Slim. Strong arms that could sling beer trays around effortlessly. Jeans that she really knew how to wear.

Penny might, she admitted to herself, be nursing aterriblecrush on the new pub manager. All she needed to do was be able totalkto the woman and find out whether Ashley might be interested, too. So Ashley finally coming over to say hello was the opportunity Penny needed, and the fact that she only had three beers—one for herself, Gwen, and Sandy, the band's second singer—was not an obstacle. Penny was more than willing to sacrifice her own beer as a way to chat Ashley up.

She had not, however, planned to sacrifice it down her shirt.

Penny couldn't help the shriek as beer flew out of the glass and over her her clothes. Her shoulders caved in, like she could avoid getting soaked that way, but mostly that just provided a space right between her boobs for the beer to funnel down. Her shriek turned into a giggle, then another shriek as beer reached her belly button and soaked the waistband of her jeans. "Cold! Sticky!"

Gwen, languidly, said, "Hot and sticky is better," underneath poor Ashley's spluttered sounds of horror and apology.

Shoulders still hunched, Penny said, "One time," first to the beer soaking her shirt, then to Ashley's incredibly apologetic deep brown eyes, "one time I'd just gotten a glass of milk, and as I turned away from the fridge, the entire bottom fell out of the glass."

Ashley blinked at her in frantic confusion, continuing to make small, squeaking apologetic noises. Penny nodded and went on. "The whole bottom. I don't know how it was constructed that the bottom could fall out like that, but it did. It was one of those 'time slows down' moments, and I saw fluid mechanics in motion. The middle of the milk blooped—up, I think, it's been ages since it happened—and then blooped back down and I could see the middle of the column drop with individual droplets rising and forming and falling around it. Itwas genuinely incredible. And then it all hit the floor in a giant splat, obviously."

She looked down at her shirt again. "This was almostexactlylike that. Except foamy. But I could actually see the whole wave of beer just rising up there, cresting, collapsing, like it was in slow motion.Sploosh. Nothing I could do to stop it."

"I amso sorry," Ashley interrupted shrilly.

Penny had the impulse to give Ashley a hug, although given that she was covered in beer, she was fairly confident Ashley wouldn't actually appreciate that. "It's okay. Seriously." She offered a hopeful smile. "I'm not going to melt, and I wasn't wearing my seven thousand dollar leather Prada jacket, so?—"

Ashley, faintly, said, "Oh my God," as Gwen said, "You don'thavea seven thousand dollar Prada jacket," in exasperation. Ashley looked back and forth between Penny and the singer, eyes wide with confused dismay, and Penny, in the most reasonable tone she could manage, said, "Which explains why I wasn't wearing it, doesn't it? Honestly, Ashley, it's okay. It's just beer. I'm going to go wash my shirt out, but it's fine, okay?"

"Come back to the staff bathroom," Ashley whispered. "I can get you a brewery t-shirt to wear."

"Oh!" Penny brightened. "That'd be great. I was thinking, at least I'm not wearing a white shirt, but yeah, that'd be great, thank you!"

"It's the least I can do," the tall woman said, still in a whisper. "Come on, this way."

Ashley turned to elbow her way through the crowd. Penny followed after her, grateful that people actually got out of her way. Even in heels, she was at least eight inches shorter than Ashley, and had spent a lifetime squirming through the small spaces between people instead of just brazening it out and expecting people to move. Mostly because no matter how brazenshe was, she was also still barely over five feet tall. She muttered, "Bane of my existence."

There was no reasonable way Ashley could have heard that through the noise in the bar, but the tall blonde cast her a stricken look anyway. "I really am sorry."

"Oh, I wasn't talking about you!" Penny said, startled, as Ashley pushed open the staff door and gestured her through. "I was talking about being short. Oh, wow, it's so much quieter in here." She managed to lower her voice by the end of that, although she'd started out very loud. "Uh, sorry, I didn't mean to be shouting at you."

"You're not short, you're—" Ashley broke off as Penny gave a loud, disbelieving snort.

"So speaketh the Amazon. You're what, six feet?"

"Six one," Ashley said almost apologetically. "Here, this is the staff bathroom. I'll get you a t-shirt."

"Six one! I'm five two! Look at this!" Penny toed her boots off and stood flat-footed on the tile floor, something she absolutely would not have done in a more public bathroom. Hands on her hips, she glared up at Ashley, then gestured wildly at the difference in their heights.

Ashley Torben visibly bit the inside of her cheek, trying to keep from laughing, the effort making her warm skin tones absolutely glow. Her mane of dark blonde hair was tied in half a casual up-do, keeping it out of her dark eyes and away from her broad, strong cheekbones, although a few tendrils, tucked behind her ears, fell to frame her square jaw. "Okay," she said in a voice obviously still fighting laughter, "okay, you're kind of tiny. I was going to say it looks good on you."

"But now you've seen the truth of the matter, which is that if I take my shoes off, I actually disappear like a bug," Penny said with a dramatic sigh. "Like I said, bane of my existence. Do you wear heels?"

Ashley, startled, glanced at her own feet. "Hardly ever. Not because of the towering over people thing, because I do that anyway. They're just not very comfortable." She brightened. "I have an amazing pair of clogs that have like three-inch platform soles made of cork and Ilovethose. They're not heels, but they're tall shoes, at least."

"All my shoes are tall," Penny agreed. She put hers back on—they were clogs, too, actually, and had somehow been spared the beer that had dripped down a lot of her front—and went to the sink to strip her shirt off and stare at the reflection of her bra in dismay. Most of the cups were stained a darker berry red than their usual shade. "It's a nice color. Too bad about the beer smell."

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