Page 58 of Until Summer Ends

They’ve tried acting normal the rest of the day, basking in the glow of newly revealed feelings, but something doesn’t feel right. He knows her well enough to figure it’s not the kiss itself that upset her. She’s trying to be happy, too, but something else is looming in the back of her mind.

Night fell an hour ago, and they’re both lying on their backs in the boy’s backyard, the waves dancing at the bottom of the cliff at their feet while Coldplay’s “Sparks” plays from the boy’s phone. The sky is illuminated by the Perseids; the yearly meteor shower that always made the boy believe magic might be real, if only for a couple of nights a year. It doesn’t have the same effect tonight. He knows if magic was real, he wouldn’t be in this situation right now, waiting for the love of his life to go.

They’re supposed to be headed to the UMaine campus in two weeks. He’ll be getting back to his roommates, and she’s supposed to settle in her room at the dorms. Somehow, the closer they get to the date, the more he doubts that pipe dream will ever come to life.

It’s strange, how when he was a kid, his dreams were extravagant. He wanted to build a boat from scratch and sail around the world with it. He was going to become a professional MLB player and be rich enough to get his dad to retire.

Now, his biggest dream is to live a simple life with her.

“It’s getting bad,” the girl said, the growing bubble of tension finally breaking. Her hand is already in his, but he tugs it closer tohis chest. She keeps her eyes on the shooting stars. “His drinking has gotten worse.”

She’s only brushing the surface with this statement, he knows. The fact that she’s even mentioned it is evidence enough of how bad it is.

He’s never felt this helpless before.

“Come live here,” he says, a hail Mary. “Or stay at Ruth’s.” The thought of anything bad happening to her in that house makes him want to puke.

“He won’t let me.”

The boy wants her to look at him. Whenever she puts distance between them, it’s never a good sign.

He pulls her hand to his lips, kissing her knuckles. “I’m scared,” he admits, which feels cowardly given everything she’s going through, but it slips out of his mouth nonetheless.

Finally, she meets his eyes. “Me too.”

It’s the first time she acknowledges she, too, has doubts about the probability of their plans ever becoming true. Before, she would talk about the nights they’d spend discovering the college town and the parties they’d attend. Now, she’s done pretending. They only need to last a few more weeks, but they can feel it slipping between their fingers. And even if they make it, they’ll still be so close to home. Eli chose his college specifically for that reason. He wanted to be there in case his father had another health scare, and his family needed him. But for her? It might just be a prolongation of her penitentiary.

“I’ll understand, you know,” the boy starts before he can even wrap his head around what he’s saying. “If you need to go.” The words sound strangled, like they’re being yanked out of his throat.

Her eyes fill, and then she kisses him. He doesn’t know if it’s because she wants him to stop talking, or because she’s actually considering it.

It doesn’t matter. He’ll always take whatever she’s willing to give him anyway.

Chapter 23

I’m leaving tomorrow.

The house is completely empty. The money from the furniture sale has been sent to the two organizations we settled on. I’m supposed to hear back from the realtor later this afternoon about a potential offer that’s coming in for the house. I only have one thing left to do before I’m ready to go.

I don’t bother knocking before I step inside the Grants’ house, which is in its worst state of disarray since I walked in for the first time. Sleeping bags are strung over the couch. Bags of food litter the entryway, laundry is strewn everywhere, and half-filled suitcases are open on the floor. I’d forgotten Eli and Zoe are leaving for Mrs. Grant’s cottage by the lake tomorrow until now.

“Cassie!” Zoe shouts from where she’s “folding” clothes inside a suitcase, toppling over a pile of T-shirts as she runs into my arms. Eli looks up as I hug his daughter, brows furrowed.

“What are you doing here?” he asks, not necessarily cold, but not particularly happy, either. In the two days since the restaurant and the strange tension on Ruth’s front porch, he’s been more distant. When he returned from work, he didn’t invite me to stay for a drink. It was as if I couldn’t get out of his hair fast enough. I don’tknow what I expected for our last days together, but it wasn’t that. I won’t get into it with him, though. Not when I’m almost gone.

“I’m kidnapping you,” I say, pulling him up from where he’s packing in the kitchen. “Or rather the opposite of kidnapping. I’m forcing you away.”

“Why?”

“Because I want you to go have fun.” I push him toward his running shoes. He’s already in a sportsy T-shirt and loose shorts. Perfect.

“I can’t. I need to finish—”

“I’ll take care of all of it.” They’re leaving for a week. I can figure out what they need for a few days away in a fully furnished cabin. “You will go to the baseball game, and you won’t come back early. You’ll stay out and have a drink or five with the guys.”

“But—”

“I told you I’d get you to say no this summer.” I take a step closer to him. “And that can also mean saying no to being responsible, for once.”

---