Page 56 of Not My Fault

“Well, it’s not until next month but I want to be prepared.” I shrug. “We have to look cute for River and Aspen’s Halloween party.”

“Yeah…” Gus doesn’t hide their lack of enthusiasm well.

“What?” I put down my phone to give them my full attention.

“I just don’t know if I want to go.” They sigh.

“Because of Cari?” I guess. It is an unspoken topic between us. Neither of us have heard from Cari since the night of my show. Yeah, she’d texted Gus a few times, but beyond that it’s had silent.

“Yeah. River still doesn’t know anything, and I just feel awkward.” Gus frowns.

“I understand and we don’t have to go. But I don’t think you should avoid things just because of one person. And if they’re stupid enough to try anything, I’ll be there to protect you.”

“Oh, yeah? You ready to spar this time, Rocky?” Gus chuckles.

“Maybe that’s what we should be for Halloween,” I joke.

“You should be something sexy.”

“I’m always sexy,” I argue.

“That’s true.” Gus kisses my forehead and goes back to cooking lunch in the kitchen.

That is one of the nice things about Gus, they don’t want me to change. They know I love showing off my body and they fully embrace it. Never once have they asked me to cover up or stop flashing my fans. They knew I love my body, and I liked to share it. I have always feared when I started seeing someone seriously that they might take issue with that. But to know they actually encourage and embrace my sexuality? Well, that’s even hotter.

“I wanna be a sexy bunny. Like fromMean Girls.”

“What can I be? A normal bunny?” Gus laughs.

“Oh my god, what if you go as anot-sexybunny—like when Monica got Chandler that rabbit costume.”

“I love this idea.” Gus laughs. I know it’s perfect because then we’ll both feel comfortable in what we were wearing.

I start googling where to order costumes nearby and place my order right away. I’m late in picking my costume and I don’t want there to be any problems.

“I have to get going, but you’ll be here when I get back?” Gus asks as they put a plate in front of me. It’s gluten-free pasta with grilled chicken and lots of veggies.

“Yes, I’m going to be writing and working on songs. So if I don’t text back, that’s why,” I explain.

“No worries, I hope you have an inspirational day.”

Gus stops by to pull my face to theirs and kisses me slow. I want to beg them to stay home and spend more time with me instead, but I know I can’t. Gus loves their job, and I don’t want them losing the time off in case they really need it. I’m spending the day at their apartment, as I do a lot of the time when they work. I hang out in their bed, play with the cats, sing songs, orbinge watch something on TV. Then when Gus gets home from work, we talk about our days, eat dinner together, and have lots of sex all over the apartment. It’s a routine that I like.

The drama with my ex-manager has settled, and I don’t want there to be any more surprises for now. The police have actually handled something right for once. Yes, I’m shocked, because despite the fact that doing their job is the bare minimum, they often don’t meet that requirement. But Viv was arrested, the staff didn’t walk out, and I made sure everyone got their money. I personally paid everyone for the thirty days of work plus a generous bonus for staying on and being patient. I encouraged everyone to talk to me if anything like that ever happens again. I’m going to have to wait to get that money back after all the legal proceedings with Viv, but I know it is worth it. I can’t let everyone suffer at the hands of one woman’s mistake.

Marsha became my personal assistant, which is a lot like Viv’s old job. Except everything is run through me, and I thrive on making everyone feel like it’s a family. There is a lot less turnover, and everyone seems happier. I know I feel more relaxed when I go to work.

I don’t need to get any writing done today, but I do have a surprise for Gus. I’ve had this in the works for a bit, but I want it to be perfect. It finally feels like the time, and I know I need time to get everything together. I recorded Gus’s favorite song, “Lovefool” by The Cardigans onto an album. I’m going to play it for them when they get home and I’ll finally tell them I love them. We’ve both been dancing around the words for a while now, neither of us wanting to rush things or be the first to say it. But then the idea came to me. Singing it will be so much easier for me.

I figure tying it all together with a sexy outfit and a home-cooked meal will be the perfect way to say it. Georgie texted me a preemptive good luck text, but I’m still nervous. I’m pretty sureGus will say it back, but what if they don’t? What if they realize they don’t want to be with me anymore? I ignore the intrusive thoughts in my head and relax. I know my partner. Gus is as obsessed with me as I am with them.

“Gus is going to say it back, right?” I ask Gus’s cat, Cat Burglar. But of course, he meows and runs away. That seems like a great sign.

I set up the apartment with small candles. I thought about rose petals, but I don’t want Gus thinking it’s a proposal. I take an extra-long shower, cleaning and shaving every inch of my body. Then I start getting dinner ready while I wear one of Gus’s T-shirts. It smells like them and always puts me in a good mood. I’m making gluten-free tacos and nachos, to commemorate one of our first dates. It was then that I realized this thing between Gus and me might be something real. It took me a lot longer to get my head out of my ass after that. Gus is the sentimental type, and I know they’ll appreciate it.

They only have a short day at work, so when I check the clock and see they’ll be home soon, I start to panic. I quickly change into some lingerie, covering it with a silk robe I keep here. I even put on a pair of pink heels for good measure. I know how much Gus loves fucking me when I’m wearing heels that make me taller than them. As I hear the key unlocking the door, Gus walks in as I light the last of the candles.

“Welcome home, baby.” I walk over and put my arms around their neck.

---