Page 9 of Not My Fault

“I am. You’re Emily?” It seems like a question, which makes sense because to everyone in the world besides Georgie and Viv, I’m LULY.

“I am.” I smile and shake their hand.

“River showed me what you’re looking for, and I’m happy to do it, but she also said you can wait for her if you want. She apologizes for not being here.”

“It’s okay. I would normally wait, but I don’t want to head into the summer with a fresh tattoo. I like swimming too much for that.”

“Gotcha. Then have a seat. I’ve been drawing up the final plan and you can pick which one you like the best.” They gesture to the couch behind me.

I fix my skirt and sit; they sit across from me on the chair and hold out an iPad open to Procreate. On it is a drawing ofa beautiful chest piece. Roses and thorns arranged in a pattern that will fit between my tits.

“This is totally perfect.”

“Awesome. If you want to head into my room down that way, I’ll be right in.” They point down the empty hallway and I nod.

Taking my purse with me, I plop it on the extra chair in the room. There’s a wall of framed tattoo art and a few certificates claiming Gus is the winner of several tattooing competitions. I slide off my shades and put them in my bag. There’s a mirror on the back of the door and I check my hair. I ditched the driver a few blocks away to walk. It’s such a beautiful day out, and I knew it was crowded enough I wouldn’t get caught. I wore a baseball cap and sunglasses like I’m Joe in an episode of YOU. Sure enough, no one saw me but now I have hat hair, so I quickly run my fingers through my blonde hair and slide on some fresh lip gloss.

River assured me that Gus is as professional and discrete as she is. But on the off-chance someone caught a photo of me, I want to look my best. Gus comes in a few minutes later and starts setting up the space to tattoo me. It isn’t my first tattoo; River did my first six months ago. I mean, I have some of those stick and poke ones from when I was sixteen in someone’s basement, but that doesn’t count.

“You can have a seat; I’ll have to lower you down into a laying position to do this. Is that okay?” Gus asks.

“Of course.” I nod.

“It’s a chest piece, right? Do you mind if I touch you?” Gus has on a pair of black rubber gloves but waits for confirmation from me.

“Go for it.” I smile.

Gus looks at my chest, eyeballing where the tattoo will go. They slide my low-cut romper to the sides, not exposing me but seeing if they can put the tattoo paper on.

“It might be a little tricky with the fabric. If you’re comfortable with it, we have tape and coverings so you can take off your shirt and still be covered.”

“I think most of New York has seen my tits at this point, so I’m fine with whatever works for you.” I laugh.

After I slide my romper sleeves down my arms, my breasts fall out, and Gus bites their bottom lip. I see the way their cheeks flush and their breathing hitches. Automatic responses for someone seeing a nice pair of tits. They quickly turn around and grab more supplies, handing them to me and standing.

“I’ll step out and you can do that. Just tape and cover more toward your back than the middle.” They aren’t looking at me and I hold back a laugh.

“Okay.” I nod.

Gus leaves the room, and I tape the girls to the sides. It’s sort of like taping them up for a strapless dress. I sit back down on the chair, waiting for Gus to come back. When they do, after tapping lightly on the door, they seem more put together. More focused.

“So I just need to touch you to put on the tattoo stencil and then obviously I’ll be working with you laying down. If you’re uncomfortable at all or need a break, just let me know. Is there any music you’d like to listen to?” Gus asks.

“Is it okay if we don’t have music? I kind of appreciate the quiet these days.”

Gus smiles, all shiny white straight teeth. “Of course.”

Gus picks up the stencil, places it over my chest, and adjusts before pressing it down to let the blue ink stain my skin. I look down, watching, not that I can really tell how the tattoo looks from this angle. They pick up a handheld mirror and hold it in front of me so I can see.

“It looks great.” I nod.

They’re sort of quiet, which I don’t mind. I have too much on my plate right now, and I wasn’t sure if I’d get someone who talked nonstop about what I do. River and I were chill, so I was nervous when I knew it wouldn’t be her. She assured me Gus was just as professional and that’s proving to be true. They tell me to lay back, and then they start setting up the tattoo gun and ink. Besides a few spots with shading, it’s a lot of line work. I’ll be here for a while, so I close my eyes and try to relax. As soon as the tattoo gun hits my skin, I tense up and try to remember what River told me. I don’t want the tattoo looking weird because I’m tense, so I take in some deep breaths.

I wouldn’t be so stressed if I hadn’t let Georgie and Viv talk me into meeting the influencers they lined up to date me. It was a day from hell, and the only thing that got me through it was knowing I was getting tattooed tonight. It’s like therapy for me. They set me up on what was essentially speed dating with seven women who had to sign NDAs just to show up. It was half-humiliating and half-exhausting. Each woman had their own set of flaws that I couldn’t look over. One only showered every three days as a way of preserving their body’s natural oils, one told me I would need to convert to being a Mormon if I ever wanted to meet her family, and another looked like she just rolled out of bed and didn’t know where she was. How the hell were these women my only choices? I thought I was supposed to be showing the world a different side of me.

Viv explained these were successful influencers whose brand would help grow mine, but all I wanted to do was run out of there and take a shower. I hate the idea of being set up. It feels forced and unnatural. If I’m going to spend the better part of the next year with this woman, didn’t I want it to be with someone I actually got along with? I let out an exasperated sigh.

“I’m sorry, did I hurt you?” Gus pulls back immediately.

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