Page 105 of Last Summer

Ella’s heart sinks and she closes her eyes. “I’ll regret that every single day for the rest of my life. I’m so sorry,” she says, meeting his gaze.

“Me too.” He taps a finger on the desk, and after a moment, says, “I should have told you I can’t have kids.”

“Would you, if you could?”

“Ella.”

She goes to him and grasps his hands. “Just answer the question, please. Do you want to have kids with me?”

His face crumples. He looks on the brink of tears. “If I could have kids, I wouldn’t want anything more than to have them with you,” he admits, his voice thick.

Ella squeezes his hands reassuringly. “Same. I want to experience raising a family with you. You don’t have to give me a baby. Adopt one with me. We can foster a child or get a donation from a sperm bank. We have so many options, Damien. I don’t care what we decide, as long as we decide together and that we stay together.”

“You’d do that for me...adopt?”

She frowns slightly. “I’m not Anna. Whatever child we bring into our family will be ours.” Ella slowly smiles. She cups her hand over his damp cheek. “So yes, Damien. I’d do that for you. I’d do it for us.”

He briefly closes his eyes. “I can’t tell you what this means to me.”

“Hopefully it means you forgive me. For cheating on you and for getting into the car accident. For losing Simon and forgetting about him.”

“Losing Simon isn’t your fault. Neither is the accident.”

She isn’t so sure about that, but she needs to hear the words from him. “Please forgive me,” she whispers.

“I do,” he says without hesitation. “But can you forgive me? I should have told you I was sterile. There were so many times I wanted to tell you, but I thought if I did...” He shrugs.

“It wouldn’t have changed my mind about marrying you and staying with you if you did.”

“Speaking of minds. Do you want your memories back? You mentioned last week you didn’t.”

Ella thinks for a moment, tapping her lips. “Let me see if I have this straight. We go to the Maldives and I tell you that I want to start a family. But you don’t tell me you’re sterile, only that you still don’t want kids. Right?” She waits for Damien’s confirmation and, when he nods, says, “We return home, I go on assignment with Nathan, and you fly to London. I meet up with you two weeks later and several weeks after that realize I’m pregnant. I believe Simon is yours, and you let me think that. Then, for whatever reason—guilt maybe?—you tell me you’re sterile, that you’re not Simon’s father, and that you know I had an affair. This happens on the day of my accident. After dinner, I guess. So far, so good?” He nods again. “We then argue. Upset, I leave the condo, where I call Nathan, presumably to tell him about Simon, but I never get the chance. A truck hits me. And, well...we know what happens next.”

Damien’s jaw ticks.

“Did I get it right?” She looks at him expectantly. His expression is tight and his eyes reflect all the pain she’s caused them. But he nods.

“Yes, that’s how it happened.”

“Then, no. I don’t want my memories.” She’ll miss not having the opportunity to experience the maternal connection with Simon, but she doesn’t want to remember her affair with Nathan, the first one, or the hurt she inflicted on Damien.

The pain recedes in his eyes and he smiles, a wide satisfied grin. Ella would say his smile almost looks calculating, but that wouldn’t make sense. Her vision is blurry through her tears and distorting everything in the room. Damien’s just happy. Super happy they’ve worked through everything, because he pulls her into his arms and kisses her deeply.

“I love you,” he murmurs against her lips. “I love you so much.”

When he lifts his head and smiles adoringly at her, she catches the time on the clock. It’s almost six o’clock.

“You have to get to the airport,” she says, sad he has to leave.

“Or”—he grabs her wrist when she moves toward the door—“I can cancel my flight. And tomorrow’s meeting. There’s a big bed here, just waiting.” He smiles that sexy, wide grin that always makes her breath catch.

“You’d do that for me? Cancel your meeting?”

Damien draws her to him until their bodies are flush. He brushes his lips over hers. “I’d doanythingto keep you happy, Ella.”

CHAPTER 35

INTERVIEW TRANSCRIPT EXCERPT

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